I remember crying when my mother was sick, but couldn't cry after she passed away. Crying is a very rare occurrence for me now.

Sometimes I have a hard time remembering what my lost loved ones looked like, and it bothers me too, but most of them were lost many years ago.

The process of grieving is specific to every individual and to each loss. Denial is a step in the process and serves the important purpose of protecting us when we're vulnerable and aren't able to deal with our feelings (I'm a big fan of it). You may still be in denial over Abby's loss because you haven't worked through the loss of others yet and can't handle it

People can move in and out of denial as needed.

I think you will accept things when you are a little stronger and you have had a little more time to deal with everything that has happened over the last year