I feel sorry for you.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))) ))))))))))))))))))))))))
bizi

Kay,


I hope today is o.k. for you and I hope for both of your sakes that he
somehow starts having more good days than bad.
Does he get enough sleep do you think?

=-=-=
Hubby and I sort of keep our money separate but it mostly works for me because he is better at money /paying bills than I am.
When it is not "working," it is because he is anxious / obnoxious.


M

Mari, He drinks so much that he usually passes out early and sleeps like a rock. But it's not good quality sleep because his body isn't resetting itself for the following day because it's too busy breaking down the alcohol.

Saturday wasn't the first time we'd had a "discussion" about the money issue, so he already knew my feelings about it before he started making digs.

His position further upsets me because it shows me that he doesn't regard me as a partner in our relationship. It makes me feel like he sees me as only someone to cook and clean for him, do his laundry, and get him a million beers "while (I'm) up." He's actually said "get me a beer while you're up" in his sleep because he says it so often. He thinks that's funny.

When he woke up yesterday, I made no attempt to conceal the fact that I was upset, and he knew why, but didn't acknowledge it. He remarked later that I was "giving (him) attitude," and I don't know when to let things go. So I told him how I felt, and I got little response aside from the fact I don't take his feelings into account (WTF is that supposed to mean?), and that I was "lucky to have access" to his money… very unapologetic.

I used to have my social security check deposited into our joint account before we were separated. It makes sense to do it now, but he resists. He won't tell me why, but I think it's because he wants to maintain the separation of funds so he can use the money issue against me when it suits him.


So this, and his drinking, aren't helpful to me considering I'm not at my best right now. I am doing better since switching to taking the extra dose of seroquel in the am, but I'm still off. I'm not feeling the same degree of that high energy that I was mistaking as a flare up of all my anxiety disorders anymore, but I'm still agitated/irritable, dealing with anxiety, and am sleeping less now. Maybe I'm transitioning from a mixed mood into depression? Or it could just be situational. IDK. It's been a very long time since I've gone through an episode of depression.
I see my pdoc on Wednesday and will let her sort it out. Given my history, depression would have to be clear and severe before my pdoc would consider prescribing an antidepressant, or I would consent to taking one. Maybe she'll move some meds around. IDK.

Kay

Good luck with your appointment on Wednesday. I totally understand
the money issues. Until I started working mainly for IN*SOURCE.

I had to depend on my husband and what he considered his money.
Even when wanting something for the kids. It technically was the
way he was raised. And I knew that from the beginning.

Both his parents were rich from their own money. From family.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

kay it really makes me angry the way your husband treats you......:mad:
I am so protective of my friends here. I want each of us to be treated with respect...the respect we deserve.
sigh

in regards to anti depressant use....Have you ever taken welbutrin? It is the only antidepressant that I ever tried that did not make me manic. though I was on a really low dose and am not sure how long I was on it.
don't rmember.
bizi

It's unfortunate that you can relate Donna. It must have been especially difficult to deal with that when you needed money for things for your kids :hug::hug::hug:

Bizi,
I know my husband is abusive. I have to be careful how and when I assert myself. He has a bad temper and a slanted view of reality. I don't want to instigate a larger argument and put a bullseye on my back, but sometimes I do speak up. I just have to pick my battles… even if I know I'm going to lose them.

I've taken Wellbutrin before, it doesn't work for me, and it induces mania pretty quickly.
I've taken Zoloft several times in the past for depression and once for OCD. It's effective, but I guess I can only be take it for very short periods of time because it induces hypomania, and in some cases mania. But that was before I totally lost my ****, and when I was on a lot of other drugs that zombified me. The effect could be more profound now, and that's the concern.

I'm interested in what my pdoc's input will be tomorrow, and what she's going to recommend. I think she's going to hold off on changing or adding any meds at this point to wait and see how things develop.

I hope you have a successful day today!
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

My constipation is really bad, and I was put on a new med that is supposed to start working in 48-72 hours. I'm off all the other meds. In the meantime, I feel terrible.

My pdoc appointment is at 11:30. I'm going to have to sit down and think about my symptoms prior to yesterday because I'm completely distracted by the fact that I'm not feeling well. I will definitely present as depressed at this point because of that.

I have to go food shopping today. I made out my meal plan and list Monday, but I don't know if I'm going to be staying on my diet or not yet. I'll wait to see how I tolerate breakfast and lunch first. I may end up just picking up a few things and doing the rest of the food shopping later in the week.

Good luck at the appt.

It is hard to see a pdoc and present on a day that is not a normal day.:hug:


M

Kay,

Hope it all gets better.

Keep us updated.

Donna :hug::grouphug: