[Mari]

Kay,

You have a good attitude with his family. I am glad to hear that you seem
to be o.k. with what is happening with them.

Good that he went for his physical.

I hope you find your stevia. Are you planning on using it for coffee? Anything else?

M

[OhKay]

I know that my husband's mother wants to see and/or talk to me, but he hasn't talked about the issue with his step father or sister which makes me wonder if the problem is their's or his. I've finally managed to mind **** myself into believing this isn't worth worrying about at this point, so my anxiety is lower.

My husband's physical went well. I'm surprised they didn't find anything because he doesn't take care of himself and never goes to the doctor.

When we got home we had to get all his certifications copied to send off with his application. He couldn't find some of the things he needed right away so he lost his **** and took it out on me. Eventually he found everything, I made the copies, and was happy to leave to run errands…

I made the appointment and went with him (which was unnecessary), made all the copies, wrote out the check, and mailed the ****ing the application (which required me to go into the post office) and never got an apology for his behavior when I got home. I called him on it and was not satisfied with his response.

Running errands was no fun either. It was a **** day in general.

The plan is/was to only use stevia in my coffee. I bought a small package of "Stevia in the Raw" (the only brand they sell in my grocery store) yesterday and tried it in my coffee this morning… YUCK!!! It doesn't taste very good, the aftertaste is absolutely horrible and it lingers. I also tried a cup with the Truvia I already had on hand. It's not great, but it's more tolerable and it's possible I could get used to it, or use it to transition to coffee without sugar.
I'm still interested in stevia. I'm going to look at online reviews… I will look for a site that recognizes Stevia in the Raw's awful aftertaste and hopefully recommends a brand that doesn't have that.

[bizi]

I use sweet leaf liquid drops....I am sure you could get a bottle and try it. I only use it in my coffee, but have also sweetened water to drink while watching tv as an alternative to beer.
like I said there are really not that many calories in a packet of sugar, the real thing.
bizi

[OhKay]

I would just put regular sugar in my coffee, but the point of the diet is to stop cravings for "bad carbs" like that in phase 1 and I really do get cravings for other sugary things. So, it's not really about the calories and I'm going all-in.

I did some research on different brands of stevia and it came down to Sweet Leaf and NuNatural's NuStevia. I bought a 100 count package of NuStevia because reviewers noted more consistently that it has no aftertaste... We'll see. If it doesn't work out I'll always have the Truvia to fall back on, or maybe just get used to unsweetened coffee.


Last night my husband had the gall to ask me why I have an attitude problem lately. I guess I've been "making faces" when he asks me to do things... Trust me, if every time you got up your husband asked you to get him a beer, and he averaged 18 beers a night, you'd be rolling your eyes, too. I told him I wasn't aware I was making faces, but if I was, it was probably because he was asking too much of me.

I called him out on the incident over the application, but it's not just that. I just can't seem to say or do anything right. He's just been miserable.

[bizi]

Gosh that is alot of beer.
I wish it were easier for you
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[OhKay]

It IS a lot of beer, and he usually drinks SO fast… For some reason 18 seems to be the magic number. He bought a 24 pack yesterday and there's only 7 beers left in the fridge this morning, so he drank 17 last night. It's upsetting. I should just stop counting.

He paced himself last night though and didn't pass out early. He was in a good mood all day yesterday, and we had a nice night playing cribbage together

My husband and I had talked about going to dinner for our anniversary, but it's on Sunday, so yesterday I suggested going to lunch instead. He said he was thinking the same thing, too. He told me that his mother had invited him to lunch on the same day to celebrate his birthday, but he said he declined because of our anniversary. He said he was ****** at her for even asking because she knows it's our anniversary, so it was an unreasonable request. I asked why she didn't want to take him out to lunch tomorrow (his actual birthday) instead, and he said he didn't know… maybe she had to work.

I'm getting really tired of all the mystery and controversy surrounding his family BS, and his playing dumb. I admit that in an attempt to get more clarity, I peeked at his phone this morning as he slept to look at his text messages (he gets a lot). I guess he was concerned about just that, because it's clear that he intentionally deleted large portions of conversations.
He's saved a lot of text threads, but there are no texts between him and his sister on his phone at all. It makes me wonder why he didn't just delete all the threads, and why he felt the needed to delete so much text.

But he ****ed up and didn't delete the conversation about lunch with his mother though. He accepted the invitation on Wednesday. Shortly after I talked to him yesterday about us having lunch on Sunday, he texted his mother back and told her he was sorry he couldn't make it because he forgot it was our anniversary…

He knew it was our anniversary when he accepted her invitation. His birthday's the 9th (tomorrow/Saturday), our anniversary's the 10th (Sunday), and my birthday's the 11th (Monday) and we've been married for 9 years. There's no way he forgot. At the time he accepted his mother's invitation, we hadn't solidified any plans to celebrate our anniversary, and he probably thought going to lunch with her wasn't a big deal. There is no way that he would go out twice in the same day. My take is our anniversary was not important to him at the time.

That aside, there was no need for him to mention his mother's invitation to me since he had declined it. He certainly didn't have to make her out to be the bad guy (I wonder how many times I have been the bad guy?).
For the record, I was not upset with my mother-in-law for inviting my husband to lunch on our anniversary, but had he gone, I would have been bull****.

So, he's full of ****, and that just makes me all the more curious.

[bizi]

I kind of feel like he is telling you white lies.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[OhKay]

My father-in-law texted my husband yesterday wanting to come over today. When my husband told him no, he laid on a big guilt trip. Then he started texting me with the same intent. He said he should have just mailed us our cards, etc. He's not leaving for Florida until the 17th. I reminded him it was only the 9th, and I told him that we used to go away every year to celebrate our birthdays and anniversary, but last year I wasn't well enough, and this year we couldn't afford it. And I said that our anniversaries are more important to us now… "sorry we couldn't make Sunday work for (him)". He apologized and cut the ****. He can stop by for coffee some day after my husband gets home from work if he wants to, but I didn't set any date or time. Saying yes or no to the visit was up to my husband, but I did agree with his answer. I did not appreciate my father-in-law's manipulation when he didn't get his own way. This sort of behavior is new for him, and I don't like it.

My husband did go out to lunch with his mother yesterday to celebrate his birthday and he had a nice time. I made him toast in the morning because that is all he wanted, and I roasted a pork tenderloin and made yukon gold mashed potatoes with homemade gravy for dinner (no veggies because that is his preference). It came out very good. We watched Black Mass last night because it premiered on cable. It was a good movie. We know a lot of about that SOB because we're from the Boston area. Of course they took a little dramatic license.

We got into a spat before bed. It was 59 degrees out. Having the window open was not enough for him. He wanted the huge ****ing cyclone fan on, too. I had to shut the door in the living room hours earlier because I was freezing (even though I always have to wear a thick sweatshirt inside all the time because he likes the room temp so cool). He said I only cared about myself and the argument ruined his birthday. He had a temper tantrum and got his own way (per usual) and I froze last night.

I wonder what kind of mood he will wake up in today?

The plan is to go out for Japanese food for lunch.

[bizi]

Happy birthday my sweet friend!!!!!!!!


Is your air conditioner not working?
59 is chilly!
((((HUGS))))
it was cooler here last night maybe down to 80 and not as much humidity which was really nice. It had rained during the day and that helped.
bizi

[OhKay]

Thank you Bizi I'm 36 today.

The cool air from the living room AC that's built into the wall never makes it into the bedroom. We can't put one into the bedroom window because it opens horizontally.

My husband has slept like **** for the last 2/3 nights. One of those nights he only had a couple of beers, and last night he didn't drink at all, and I think that had a lot to do with it. He's used to going to bed loaded and can sleep through just about anything…
Friday night I guess he was hot and I woke him up when I came to bed, and then when I got up later to use the bathroom. Then last night it was the cats. He had a couple of temper tantrums that woke me up both nights, then the cats woke me up this morning because he left an empty shoe box at the end of the bed.

I put a little more effort into my hair yesterday, put on some make up (which I never do), and dressed nicely (my husband complimented me on my appearance). We had a nice lunch. We went to a Japanese hibachi restaurant. The food was very good, but it would have been better if they didn't put so much sauce on everything. We sat with a man, his two children, and their grandparents. It's fun to watch the little ones' reactions at those places. The kids were really cute and well behaved, too.

My husband was in a pretty good mood up until bedtime. It was a quiet day. I tried to hold off on my nap because I didn't want to waste the day, but I couldn't. At least I somehow managed to reign it in to 1 1/2 hours by setting 3 different alarms on my phone. I was able to skip my nap on his birthday though.

I was going to make a chicken pie last night because it's one of my husband's favorites, but we ate a late lunch. So, I made BLT's instead. I guess I'm making the chicken pie tonight. I bought a rotisserie chicken at the supermarket to make things easier on myself though. It will be my birthday dinner and last one pre-diet… not what I would have picked