[Mari]

It is hard to get in the way of a man's feelings for his father, mother, step mother.
Apparently,you can advise, suggest, and use some logic, but he is going to
do what he is going to do.

Good luck on South Beach. I did it for a couple of weeks two times and felt good about it.


M

[OhKay]

I don't ask my husband too many questions. Sometimes things come up and I get some breadcrumbs, though. I mentioned that I texted his step father "Happy Father's Day," but he didn't return my text. My husband said, "They acknowledge it through me." He never mentions it though. Odd.

We've been back together for a year and a half. I'm sure there has been some conversation about how we are doing, etc. We are doing well, with the exception of his behavior, which he would never acknowledge. He has his reasons for keeping us separate, whatever they are.

I was 11 months sober yesterday. It think if I can do that, I can handle at least 2 weeks of the highly restricted South Beach Diet. I'm not going to cut out coffee though, but I will switch to fat free 1/2 & !/2, use less of it, and use sugar substitute. I don't think it will be too difficult to prepare 2 different dinners. My book arrives on Friday.

I'm going to continue my work on the exercise bike. That can only help.
My only worry is that I won't be taking in enough calories to tolerate the meds I'm on. I'm going to have to listen to my body, and add a few more carbs if I need to.

[OhKay]

I did some checking up on Truvia. Coca-Cola makes it, and can barely get away with saying it is natural by saying it has stevia in it. They have been sued for false advertisement (I don't know the outcome) because it actually has a very small amount of stevia (extract of some kind) in it. It's very heavy in erythritol, a sugar alcohol. It's calorie free because our bodies can't digest it (like other artificial sweeteners), hence the GI upset.
I've decided I'm going the stevia route. I'm going to order some off Amazon if I can't get it in my supermarket.
The diet is very, very restrictive. No fruits, starchy veggies (like corn, carrots, peas, potatoes of any kind etc), no bread, pasta, cereals, or rice in phase 1. Certain cuts of meat, dairy products, most condiments, and some oils are out too. No baked goods, and no alcohol at all. Thankfully there is a list of approved foods, and one for no-no's. Tomato juice and V8 are allowed. It's good to have directions, but something not too, too rigid. I considered the Atkins diet, but I don't think I could handle the counting and weighing required.

When I went to the leasing office to turn in the paper lease, the lady there did not want to accept it, and gave me a rash of **** because we couldn't finish it electronically. She said that my husband couldn't sign it because he was supposed to do it separately on his own "resident portal" account, which he does not have. She said that's how they recognize residents. I told her that was asinine. She said it was necessary to have 2 accounts because they renew leases electronically now. We've never had more than one account because we're on the same lease and only use the portal to pay rent. We were never told we needed separate accounts before our lease was up for renewal, or when I called and told them I was having issues. She was such a *****, I swear I could have whacked her. I told her the lease I gave her should be acceptable, I wanted a copy for my records once management signed off on it, and we would worry about next year's lease next year. I had taken my klonopin and I was perfectly calm, but firm. There were other people in the office, and she's the one who looked like an ***hole.
Of course our rent did go up $50… not happy because the apt. is not worth it. We've been here 6 1/2 years now. I wish we had the money to move. We could find a much better apartment for the rent we pay.

My husband has told me that my father-in-law isn't really upset with me because I wasn't at Father's Day breakfast and to let it go, but he was wrong. My father-in-law has been too busy to take my texts since then until yesterday when he told me he was upset with me because I should have been there, and he doesn't care why I wasn't.
I tried again to explain to him why I didn't come, and said we should do something that doesn't involve my sister-in-law, so that there wouldn't be any issue with us seeing one another. He is adamant that we are family and doesn't accept the fact that my sister-in-law and I don't see one another. I told him to please stay out of that, and not to mention it to my husband or sister-in-law.
When my husband came home he said that my father-in-law had texted him and was "dying to come over," and would be coming over today (Thursday is kind of an odd day?). I'm looking forward to seeing him. I just hope he doesn't bring up the subject of my relationship/lack of relationship with my sister-in-law because my husband will get ****** and think his interference will make matters worse.

I picked today to do my laundry and I was fortunate enough to get in the laundry room first this morning
I am behind on my housework because I went to the club Tuesday. I wasn't expecting a visitor, so I'm going to have to rush around to get a bunch of things done before he gets here and I'll be missing my afternoon nap

I mentioned to my husband that I don't have anything on hand to cook for 3 people. He said not to worry about it because my father-in-law won't be staying long, but my husband is often wrong. My father-in-law likes to talk and enjoys spending time with us. I'm not screwing around. I'm just going to text him and ask if he expects to stay for dinner.

[Dmom3005]

Sounds like a good idea to text and ask.

Donna

[bizi]

Well I hope you had a nice visit....and that he was well behaved.
hoping that you are ok about the visit.
bizi

[OhKay]

We had a very nice visit
Lots of good conversation, and it was as if nothing had ever happened. He is very easy going.
My father-in-law was impressed with my new coffee machine and was excited and impressed by the iced coffee I made for him (it does taste better than what you get at the drive through). He loves tech, and usually ends up getting whatever my husband has, so I bet he'll be buying one of his own when he returns to Florida. He buys a lot of iced coffees and would end up saving a lot of money, and he likes saving money
He stayed away from taboo issues, at least in front of me.

My husband's vacation starts when he gets home from work today. He'll be off until the 11th. He needs a vacation and I'm looking forward to spending more time with him. We usually go away because the 9th is his birthday, the 10th is our anniversary, and my birthday is the 11th. Last year I was in no shape to go anywhere, and this year we can't afford to go away. We don't usually vacation the week of the 4th, and his mother expects him to go over for the holiday, and show up at some point to celebrate his birthday, too. They've also been expecting him to do a lot of yard work and handyman tasks lately as well. I asked him last night if he'd be spending a lot of time over there in the upcoming week…
He told me he had already decided that if he was going over there, he was bringing me because, "this has gone on long enough, and we have to break the ice at some point." I think my father-in-law had a talk with him. My husband walked him in and out of the apartment and they were gone for a while both times.

Apparently my husband's mother wants to see me, but my he doesn't know how his sister or step father feel because he simply hasn't talked to either of them about it in a long time. His plan is just to show up with me. I told him I wasn't comfortable with that. He has had a long time to work this out…. he can take 5 minutes to make a phone call to ask if it's okay for me to come. A surprise visit isn't fair to anyone, including me.

I'm not even going to go over the list of **** I had to get done to get the apartment visitor-ready (to my satisfaction) yesterday, but I had at least 7 cups of coffee to help push through it and bypass my nap. I was exhausted, but I has trouble sleeping last night (rare) because I was worrying about dealing with my husband's family again, and worrying that it will probably be under less than desirable circumstances because my husband probably won't handle things well beforehand. My anxiety is going up again. It was sky high this morning. But I'm going to have to deal with this **** eventually. Maybe I'll feel better afterwards?

I didn't get nearly enough sleep to make up for all of yesterday's activity. When I push it too much my MS acts up, and it's not just the fatigue. I should do some food shopping this morning, since later today and tomorrow the supermarket will be a horror show because of the upcoming holiday. I just need to motivate myself. I will reward myself with an early nap if I get the grocery shopping over with by noon (that's being pretty generous). I'm sure I will need at least 1/2mg of klonopin to quiet my mind before I lay down, but I need the rest, and I'm sure it will be a long nap.

[bizi]

happy about your visit!
yes you need a nap, I think the 7 cups of coffee probably interferred with your sleep last night unfortunately.
I hope you get in a good nap today!
Good luck shopping, be careful.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[OhKay]

My father-in-law texted my husband yesterday wanting to come over today. When my husband told him no, he laid on a big guilt trip. Then he started texting me with the same intent. He said he should have just mailed us our cards, etc. He's not leaving for Florida until the 17th. I reminded him it was only the 9th, and I told him that we used to go away every year to celebrate our birthdays and anniversary, but last year I wasn't well enough, and this year we couldn't afford it. And I said that our anniversaries are more important to us now… "sorry we couldn't make Sunday work for (him)". He apologized and cut the ****. He can stop by for coffee some day after my husband gets home from work if he wants to, but I didn't set any date or time. Saying yes or no to the visit was up to my husband, but I did agree with his answer. I did not appreciate my father-in-law's manipulation when he didn't get his own way. This sort of behavior is new for him, and I don't like it.

My husband did go out to lunch with his mother yesterday to celebrate his birthday and he had a nice time. I made him toast in the morning because that is all he wanted, and I roasted a pork tenderloin and made yukon gold mashed potatoes with homemade gravy for dinner (no veggies because that is his preference). It came out very good. We watched Black Mass last night because it premiered on cable. It was a good movie. We know a lot of about that SOB because we're from the Boston area. Of course they took a little dramatic license.

We got into a spat before bed. It was 59 degrees out. Having the window open was not enough for him. He wanted the huge ****ing cyclone fan on, too. I had to shut the door in the living room hours earlier because I was freezing (even though I always have to wear a thick sweatshirt inside all the time because he likes the room temp so cool). He said I only cared about myself and the argument ruined his birthday. He had a temper tantrum and got his own way (per usual) and I froze last night.

I wonder what kind of mood he will wake up in today?

The plan is to go out for Japanese food for lunch.

[bizi]

Happy birthday my sweet friend!!!!!!!!


Is your air conditioner not working?
59 is chilly!
((((HUGS))))
it was cooler here last night maybe down to 80 and not as much humidity which was really nice. It had rained during the day and that helped.
bizi

[OhKay]

Thank you Bizi I'm 36 today.

The cool air from the living room AC that's built into the wall never makes it into the bedroom. We can't put one into the bedroom window because it opens horizontally.

My husband has slept like **** for the last 2/3 nights. One of those nights he only had a couple of beers, and last night he didn't drink at all, and I think that had a lot to do with it. He's used to going to bed loaded and can sleep through just about anything…
Friday night I guess he was hot and I woke him up when I came to bed, and then when I got up later to use the bathroom. Then last night it was the cats. He had a couple of temper tantrums that woke me up both nights, then the cats woke me up this morning because he left an empty shoe box at the end of the bed.

I put a little more effort into my hair yesterday, put on some make up (which I never do), and dressed nicely (my husband complimented me on my appearance). We had a nice lunch. We went to a Japanese hibachi restaurant. The food was very good, but it would have been better if they didn't put so much sauce on everything. We sat with a man, his two children, and their grandparents. It's fun to watch the little ones' reactions at those places. The kids were really cute and well behaved, too.

My husband was in a pretty good mood up until bedtime. It was a quiet day. I tried to hold off on my nap because I didn't want to waste the day, but I couldn't. At least I somehow managed to reign it in to 1 1/2 hours by setting 3 different alarms on my phone. I was able to skip my nap on his birthday though.

I was going to make a chicken pie last night because it's one of my husband's favorites, but we ate a late lunch. So, I made BLT's instead. I guess I'm making the chicken pie tonight. I bought a rotisserie chicken at the supermarket to make things easier on myself though. It will be my birthday dinner and last one pre-diet… not what I would have picked