Mari, I hope your appointment with the pdoc goes well tomorrow, and she can find a solution to the problems you are dealing with now

good luck mari...
bizi

I am glad that I feel really horrible.
When I see the pdoc I do not have to exaggerate or talk myself into figuring
out how I feel.

Two days ago at work, I apparently left the trunk of my car open the whole day.
Someone pointed it out to me later in the day when I was getting ready
to go to the parking lot to go home.

Today I am so tired. So very tired.
I feel like I work very hard to function and the truth is that I am not really functioning. I am faking it somewhat.


M

I am so very sorry that work is such a struggle for you.
It is a very hard job that you do.
I don't know how you keep up with all of the papers that you have to read/grade?????
Hoping that you pdoc can help you.
bizi

The only hard part is explaining things to the kids.

I do not make myself clear . . . probably I am not clear in my own head
and change my mind half way through a sentence.

(If I ever recorded myself I would recognize how messed up I really am.)

M

Good thing about Risperdal:
1. It seems to help with depression and anxiety a little.


Bad things about Risperdal:
1. Hubby has to help me with the syringe (we have a new better one, but still).
The liquid dosing is not practical for someone who cannot manage very well.

2. I am gaining weight because I have to take it "with food."
In order to eat food to avoid stomach pain, I take lots of food.

3. It keeps me awake/is activating.

4. Taking Ambien with Risperdal is horrible.
Ambien helps with sleep but some days I skip the Ambien because the hangover lasts into the second day.

5. I really hate taking Risperdal because I know it will interfere with sleep and thus with ability to get to work and to function the next day. I force myself to take it.

=-=-=-
Main problems are the same as they were in July 7 when at my first appt with this pdoc:
I am not getting enough sleep and I am not waking up on time to get to work without a great deal of stress/chaos/Hubby's close assistance.

I will add to this if I think of more.

M

I got lost again on the way there and was a real mess. 'Told her that I am often disoriented.
'Told her that my mood is good since the Seroquel and the Resperdal.

I told her I cannot take the Ambien any more.
She asked if I could Lunesta instead.

I kept talking about sleep. I had to ****ing remind her that the Resperdal is activating.
She and I agreed to try Ritalin.
I used to LOVE Ritalin.
She gave me the short acting four-hour Ritalin and said I could split it in half if I want.


She said it is important for us to get me in a place where I do not have somnolence during the day.

Regarding how different meds work for different people, she said this:
We all have the same receptors, but
we have different combinations.

I will try the Lunesta tonight and try the Ritalin on Saturday when I am not at work.

M

Do you recall why you went off ritalin?
sounds like she is willing to work with you.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Glad she is working with you so well. Keep it up.

Donna

Yes It was too much hassle dealing with the strict rules about carrying paper scripts and about getting the scripts to the pharmacy within 48 hours of the
date on the script.

My pdoc used to write three separate scripts for me for three months
at a time -- so he did help me out with the work-a-rounds.
But it got to be too much.

M