((((((Barbara)))))),



Stay strong. Hugs.

Barb

Dear Befuddled,

'Sending you hugs.
Remember to take care of yourself too.



Mari

I just have to say about the healing touch, I have had it since I was a child. When my father was cut up his middle, to remove the cancer he had in his stomach and throat, he would suffer tremendous pain, and he would lie on the sofa while I used my healing hands on him. My hands would get so hot, it was something he'd ask me to do when the pain was so bad and it helped ease his suffering.

I have had trouble with this thread BF, only because it brings back bad memories of when my dad passed on and the months prior to his passing. I just wanted to thank the others too, for saying such kind things and being so supportive of you. I am here BF, I know you need us through this, so don't be afraid to lean on us okay?

You're a wonderful woman and as hard as this is going to be, you're doing it because you are a kind and loving person. I admire that so much. Hang in there, and stay strong.

Hi BF - How are things going? How are you holding up? How is Doug feeling?

Check in when you can.

Take care, Nikko

I don't think that Doug has very long left to live. He's gone downhill so rapidly. His cancer must be a fast one. I massaged his back, neck and shoulders, and then his feet. He feels so good to touch even though he is nothing but bone. I told him tonight I never thought I'd ever be massaging his feet. He said he never imagined it either. Then he said he's never had a woman massage his feet. If there is such a thing as itamacy without love making I think I'm experiencing it with Doug. I don't ever recall this feeling with my husband except maybe the night he asked me to marry him. And oh, btw, as of the 7th or 9th of this month I have been divorced. I've wanted it but at the same time it feels like a dirty word to me somehow to be a divorcee.

Doug's hospice nurse wants him to go to a nursing home but he don't want to go. I think that Doug's step-son is not liking me over there too much. His step-son told me this morning that Doug was okay and I didn't have to come over so I went out for hours. Then when I finally did get there it was 3:30 and when Doug and I were discussing his medicine times he said he just took it at 3:30 when he told Carl, here it is 3:30 and Barbara is just getting here as if I should have been there hours ago. He told me when I left that he enjoyed my company and thanked me for coming over. The 1st time Doug ate was when I brought over some water mellon around 5 and then again around 9:30 tonight when I fixed him something. His step-son doesn't do a thing for Doug unless asked of him. I had to keep asking Doug if he wanted something to eat and he may have never eaten today had I not been there. Once he got the small T.V. I gave to him he asked Carl for some bread to go with it which made me feel wonderful to hear him ask for bread.

I've got a lot of calls to make tomorrow to help Doug like trying to get him a will made up so his real blood cannot take his possessions. He wants to leave everything to his step-son but since without a will his step-son would not be able to inherit anything he may be left out in the cold. Some other issues also need attending to if Doug has little time left. At the moment he's basically housebound.

befuddled2

I forgot to thank all of you for all the wonderful support. And for those of you who have gone through it it has to be hard to read my posts about Doug. I really appreciate your support too.

befuddled2

Barbara,
You an Angel!!!!!!
There is software on the Internet to do a self Will. I was told by my dad's attorney when we had problems when the brother attempted to probate a prior Will, not the one he was omited from receiving the Ranch home, (He found out Brother commited fraud and did not want to have the home lost)...Anyway, the attorney told me there is no where that a will is recorded, no law that an attorney retains it, when they are prepared it is for the client and he takes it...(They lost dad's true Will, Final Will)

Another story, BUT he said you can write your Will on a napkin and it is legal (not that family may not dispute) But, He can do ohis intentions online and have it norterized and it will be legal. But make sure about that.

I am doing our Will with software and having it norterized. After knowing Dad's home was lost to fraud adnthe attorney did not even have a copy...why pay him?
Hugs to you
di

((((((Barbara)))))),



I thank G-d you're there for him, Barbara. I shudder to think what this would have been like for Doug without you.

I know it's hard for you. I truly believe that he came into your life to open up your heart again and to allow you to feel again and, most importantly, to learn that it was OK to love again.

Doug is blessed for knowing you. AND, so are we. BIG HUGS (and love). Stay strong, sugar. We're here for you

Barb

Thank you all for all your support. I am really super tired today. I got Doug outside today for the 1st time since Sunday. I just had to help him in the wheelchair a little and wheel him out. He fell asleep tonight sitting up. He's over medicating himself with the morphine and that is bad. He fell this morning. When I came home from Walmart and Taco Bell I made reprints of a few pictures I had taken of him and his roommate. When I went back to his place he asked me could I do him a favor. I said, "what is it Doug?" He asked me could I make some copies of the picture I took of him. Well, since I had the copies already made I just handed them over to him and he said, "d*mn, you must be a mind reader." You have to excuse his french, he's high as a kite from the morphine. He had framed the 1st print of the picture I had given him but that was on ink-jet paper and not photo paper so when I was at Walmart I got photo paper. I made a bunch of calls this morning but mostly I got the answers from his hospice nurse. He's going to get an electric scooter maybe as soon as next week. We're planning on going to the county fair next month. He said he'd tie a rope to his wheelchair and pull me around in it at the fair so that my back won't give out. He is really comical.

Well, I am exhusted so I'm going to bed. I also washed clothes today and threw some of Doug's stuff in with mine and did some cleaning in Doug's apartment.

befudddled2

Sending you some hugs.

I haven't been on this thread to read in a while.

But I thought I'd make a comment about the stepson. He may think you are trying to take his spot in his stepdad's life. So the thing maybe that you need to help him work through this and figure out how to help his dad.

By showing him how to do the things his dad needs done. And then maybe setting it up so that he sees it as you coming so he gets a break, more than you coming to be with his dad. This way maybe he will like you being there much more.

And I would explain it to Doug when you can to a small degree as that you want his stepson to realize your there to help him too. So your letting it go this way too.

Donna