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Old 12-06-2016, 09:58 AM #1
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Unhappy The Holidays are hard....

Bobby mentioned being depressed due to the holidays coming.
I think they are hard too.
Lots of pressure.
I had a conversation with my older sister the other night.
I was telling her that I was barely able to do this job these days, missing clients, making errors. When we leave for 2 weeks it upsets my business. I usually get 5-10 new clients a month. My schedule is full so I end up seeing people on the weekends or earlier in the morning than I like.
I can't handle shopping, wrapping, getting presents for people,(my sister asked for a round cookie sheet. I can't handle going to walmart!!! and you know how hard it is to wrap a round cookie sheet.
UGH! I used to shop for everyone. But I can't do that anymore. I also used to get my taxes done ahead of time by the end of the year, mostly done.
Not any more. Thinking about traveling north with the possible ice and snow, packing winter clothes....
I got so upset with my sister on the phone that I started crying....
I told her that no body understands...my bipolar is worse and that
I hated christmas.
She said she would buy the cookie sheet and that gift cards are fine for people.
sigh
I hate crying and rarely do that.
so today I will run around getting gift cards...when I have 14 people to shop for it makes it expensive.
I am waiting for my cards from heifer international. I "bought" a whole sheep this year. Then give cards to my family letting them know that I made a donation in their name. I have been doing this for a few years now and I like it, makes me feel good.
I have to shop for jeff, bought one thing so far....it is a beatles movie that he doesn't own..he casually mentioned it the other day and I picked up on that for sure to order it. He is so hard to buy for. A gift card for your husband is really lame.
I have given him cash in the past though....lottery tickets, beer...sigh
He usually finds perfect gifts for me, so that is a stresser for me.
Like I said this winter trip is hard on me. Summer is easier for sure
I still have not figured out how I am going to be able to bring all of my supplements with me since things are working for me like they are now.
Last year I did not put up our tree, I don't think I will put it up this year either....too much!
This is stressing me out!
bizi
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Hattie the black and white one wrestling with hazel, calico. lost hattie to cancer.....
Happiness is a decision....

150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night


I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF. 3-19-13=156, 6-7-13=139, 8-19-13=149, 11-12-13=140, 6-28-14=157, 7-24-14=149, 9-24-14=144, 1-12-15=164, 2-28-15=149, 4-21-15=143, 6-26-15=138.5, 7-22-15=146, 8-24-15=151, 9-15-15=145, 11-1-15=137, 11-29-15=143, 1-4-16=152, 1-26-16=144, 2-24-16=150, 8-15-16=163, 1-4-17=169, 9-20-17=174, 11-17-17=185.6, 3-22-18=167.9, 8-31-18= 176.3, 3-6-19=190.8 5-30-20=176, 1-4-21=202, 10-4-21= 200.8,12-10-21=186, 3-26-22=180.3, 7-30-22=188, 10-15-22=180.9,
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Old 12-06-2016, 11:10 AM #2
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this is going to be interesting. two of my nephews mentioned possibly having lunch soon. I have been alone without a family for for so long I don't know how i will react if it happens.
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Old 12-06-2016, 11:20 AM #3
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Bizi

I think for many in your family, just seeing you at Christmas or before or
after is a gift. I'm done with everyone but My mom and Dale.

He has a birthday the 22nd of December and that makes it even harder.
When we were at Menards Black Friday he gave me something to buy that
he wants. Wow, this never happens. He always gets everything he wants
himself. So for once I get something for him.

Its looking very much like my new grandchild will be born before Christmas.
So that will be a good present too.

Donna
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Old 12-06-2016, 10:57 PM #4
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Bizi,

Cut back to make things easy for yourself --- as you are doing.

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Old 12-07-2016, 07:36 AM #5
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Bizi, I couldn't agree with Mari more. You are overwhelmed. Try to focus on your job and packing (when you are closer to leaving) for now if you can. I think you will feel a lot better when the gift cards are bought

Bobby, I hope that you are able to get to see your nephews. You have enjoyed your visits with them in the past

Donna, you have done well by getting most of your shopping done so early!!!
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Old 12-07-2016, 07:53 AM #6
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Last year my husband and I celebrated the holidays quietly at home alone because my s/s attempt was 12/23/14. I was concerned about just getting passed the first anniversary in one piece. I did have a fairly minor manic episode though.

There are always the memories of the people we have lost over the years to deal with, and to complicate things, my husband and I have conflicts with living family members as well.

I've been doing very well thus far, and hope it continues. IDK, maybe I will have problems as the anniversary gets closer, but maybe not. I'm in a good place right now, but haven't had much luck staying stable for long lately, and that concerns me. I think managing my anxiety will be very important.
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Old 12-07-2016, 09:35 AM #7
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I am going to try to get some gift cards today.
(unless I pick up another client.)
One for my friend who is pet sitting for us while we are gone. I will be getting a grocery card for food as she is with out a job right now and getting a divorce. They go to court next month. Her attorney advised her to not get a job until after court date. So the holidays are hard for her, she has a 10 year old. Her soon to be ex is a realtor in a down economy. They fight terribly off and on.
sigh
This afternoon, I am to get a physical with a new MDOC family practice...
A MAN!!!! Yikes!
Have never seen a man before. (no pap, so regular clothes on... phew!)
my regular doctor is off for maternity leave.
I made out a list of people to give to...I think I will just go to the bank and get $50 bills to give to the kids. That will save having to go to the mall. Every body likes cash right?
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Hattie the black and white one wrestling with hazel, calico. lost hattie to cancer.....
Happiness is a decision....

150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night


I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF. 3-19-13=156, 6-7-13=139, 8-19-13=149, 11-12-13=140, 6-28-14=157, 7-24-14=149, 9-24-14=144, 1-12-15=164, 2-28-15=149, 4-21-15=143, 6-26-15=138.5, 7-22-15=146, 8-24-15=151, 9-15-15=145, 11-1-15=137, 11-29-15=143, 1-4-16=152, 1-26-16=144, 2-24-16=150, 8-15-16=163, 1-4-17=169, 9-20-17=174, 11-17-17=185.6, 3-22-18=167.9, 8-31-18= 176.3, 3-6-19=190.8 5-30-20=176, 1-4-21=202, 10-4-21= 200.8,12-10-21=186, 3-26-22=180.3, 7-30-22=188, 10-15-22=180.9,
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Old 12-07-2016, 01:30 PM #8
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Oh Bizi
The kids will love the cash.

Donna
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Old 12-07-2016, 03:42 PM #9
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Yes! Everybody loves cash
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Old 12-08-2016, 07:50 AM #10
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I've decided to give my two nephews little presents to open and cards with cash… but $20's.

Everyone does LOVE cash.
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