Ever feel like it's just to hard to type out the words so that others can understand? Thats how I feel right now.

Wes is depressed, then he got sick at work. My hubby thinks he's faking and wants to fire him. They yelled at each other and some very mean things were said. All very unusual in my house.

I am on valum and have a migraine and am right smack in the middle of both of them biting at each other.

Except for now, my husband won't talk to me about it. Hopefully he is just calming down. But I have a little PTSD here and there and am freaking out about what I am up against. He doesn't under stand that either. Just as much as he doesn't understand Wes.

I just need to vent. I have no one to talk to about this. Every one I know is in the middle of this. I just need an impartial ear.

Everyone, including mom, thinks Wes needs a way to learn to cope and how to get through the bad days. But dad thinks he needs to get through all of it all the time with no more slack. I think he thinks I baby him too much.

I think I only step in when it's too much for both of them. I protect my husband as much as Wes. He doesn't see that I guess.

I just hope he doesn't ask me to choose sides. I won't and then no one will win. We will all just be miserable.

sigh.

I need another valum.

impartial ear here.

working with family is tough. we have done it for years. the only thing that finally worked was to treat everyone the same. boy is that hard. you know your children..know what they are capable of. good and bad.

it makes it hard to not expect more out of them than you do a regular employee. and mrs bear...i have been right where you are. smack dab in the middle.

i finally had to let my kids fight their own battles. yes...one got fired a few times.

stick to your guns. don't take sides.

by having to treat all equal..just like state laws say....it does make it easier to get family to follow all company policies.

i hope your migraine gets better and you can get some peace.

pm me any time.

Mrs. Bear,



befuddled2

Mrs BEar, I am so sorry that you are so stressed, I know how hard the emotions hit you when family argue. Especially arguing over children.
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My husband, her step-father was tough on my daughter. He did not believe ehr pain, found her difficult and even walked outside to the deck if she cme in. She was demanding, with the BP challanging, and lived in front of me.

Now that she is gone, I have a lot of emotions to work through over him.
I feel he must be glad she is gone, how could he live with himself being so mean to a child I gave birth too...why wasn't he understanding, after all he was a healthy adult not a child that has disabilities unable to use tools that adults would learn in a life time.

If it were me though, I would think the working relaionship is too close. That a part time job, maybe even from a placement with an agency like OVR or disabled workers would be healthier for all of you.

This takes a toll, each fight, each stress full comment and situation. Eventualy it will affect your health terribly!!!!!
I was drained from the stress, now, I have a wall emotionally I can not break down in my heart...
Things are Ok, but not healthy for me.

I am praying for you all.
You can tell your husband, at least he has a sone to see, feel, argue with and alive.....
TOLERANCE< ACCEPTANCE AND LOVE
Di

I wish we could do more then be here in cyberspace for you Mrs. Bear, but that's all we can really do. Be here for you here on the board. You're the one unfortunately that has to bear the pain of this situation alone. I wish I could wave a wand and make all our problems go away but life isn't that easy. Hopefully things will get better for your son. I'll keep you all in my prayers.

Oh Bear,
how awful.....
I am sorry that there is fighting going on in your house...very sorry about that.
WEs is depressed...
Has your hubby been letting all of this bottle up and finally exploded?
how stressful this all sounds....
I wish I could give you a hug....
ever go into family counseling? would he agree to that?
You guys can live like this....
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Dear Bear,
Young people with mental disorders need to be protected. Your husband will come to understand that.

But maybe they could use a break from each other.

I know that it must be hard for you to feel like you are in the middle. You are not in the middle. You are on the side of reason and good sense.

Remember above all else to take care of your own needs.

I hear you.
Mari

They both finally calmed down and really talked.

But Hubby still doesn't understand Wesley's illness. He understood the physical illness. He just can't get it through his head that the mental aspect is just as debilitating as being physically ill. I do think hubby finally exploded. We have all been working too hard and helping our friends out of an extremely stressfull situation of moving under pressure. (They are still homeless too. No where to move to because the sale of their house happened so fast.)

I know it's hard. People look at me and just can't understand that my body doesn't work right. I can walk. I don't use a cane or a wheel chair and I have no visible deformaties. "What ever could be wrong with such a young and healthy looking woman." People will never get it without education.

Bipolar and firbro need a public service announcement regime.

With a catchy jingle so that people remember. sigh

STRESS is the cuplrit and there is no way around it in this society. At least not in my little life.

Thanks for listening. I needed to hear I was doing the right thing. I hate drama and will do anything to put a stop to it.

I am so sorry this is happening...but maybe something good will come from this...I keep on thinking about outside intervention like family therapy. A few sessions might really help all of you and then definitely you won't be accused of favoring anyone.
Bobby

Hi,

I hope that they have somewhat worked this situation out, and continue to work on it. Your husband needs to be a bit more educated on the mental illness, maybe if he would read up on it or something.

Stick to your guns, as someone mentioned. You are doing the RIGHT thing.

It's true, people just don't understand mental illness, BP is hard for people to understand because we don't look ill or act ill most of the time.

I understand trying to keep the peace. I go through it so much with my mother. I never win, so now I just go through the motions and emotions with her, and try to stay calm. I retreat to my room, pretty sad I have to do that.

And the migraine, well you don't need that. Get some rest, get an ice pack, take whatever you take for migraines and try to lay down to decompress.

Lots of Hugs, Nikko