I hope that having the bed in the living room works out for you, Mari

It sounds like your husband is pretty sensitive/responsive to your needs, I'm very glad to hear that

Yes. In some ways he is crazier than I am. But he is caring and steady.


M

After taking my meds, three times I fell asleep while sitting on the sofa in front of the t.v.

I woke myself up because I do not want to fall asleep for real.
I got up and found something to do.

Earlier, between mini partial sleeps, I got up to talk to hubby, found some peanuts to eat, checked politics on twitter, showered, found
Each time, I considered brushing my teeth and lying down.

But I am not in the mood to brush my teeth and insert my mouth guard.
I would rather stay up all night or fall asleep totally by accident.

M

I'm glad that you are getting at least some sleep at times, even if it is in the form of naps/"partial sleep."

For years I would stay up all night even if I had to fight off sleep. I really preferred being awake for those hours for some reason, but I was able to go to sleep when I was ready and/or decided to (usually well after sunrise). It was at its worst when my life was falling apart, mainly because of MS. So I think maybe part of my problem was I was trying to exercise some control over something because so many other things were out of my control. IDK.

Even though I can relate to wanting to go to sleep on your own terms, I know I could never understand all you go through, Mari

Yes, it could be some kind of control thing. I don't know.

If it is, the CBT that my sleep neuro wants me to do will not work.

M

Wednesday I saw pdoc for the first time in four weeks.

1) She handed me samples of Viibryd (Vilazodone HCI tablets)
It is a combination SSRI and buspirone.
Days 1-7 10mgs
Days 8-14 20mgs
Package says: Titrate to 40 mgs-- the recommended once-daily dose

I asked if I could cut the 10 mg tablets if I wanted and she said yes.

It has a side effect of sleep paralysis.
Vilazodone - Wikipedia

2) And she told me to ask my insurance if they cover Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation.
The do. It is for depression and not for bipolar.
They need her to write a letter saying I have tried all medication options.





Transcranial magnetic stimulation - Wikipedia

Treating Depression with TMS << Mississippi Depression Help Center


M

I think that Viibryd is a promising option considering it is an antidepressant combined with an anti-anxiety med (Buspar). I tried to find out what the incidence of sleep paralysis is, but wasn't able to find any information on that. I hope that it works out for you without the usual side effects if you decide to take it.

I've never heard of TMS, but it sounds like you would qualify for the treatments since med trials haven't helped and/or you have experienced a TON of side effects. According to your second link, they say that treatments are 5 days a week tho... and that is a big time commitment. Maybe that recommendation has changed tho.

How do you feel about your pdoc's suggestions, Mari?

I hope you are doing okay

I looked in on the board and saw again this from you . I will try the Viibryd
later today after I go to bed and wake up. Maybe I will cut it in fourths or halves.
Thank you.


Before I go to bed I am sending the pdoc the info from the insurance company regarding TMS. Maybe she will get back to me before the weekend.

M

I am really hoping that this med works out for you

Thanks for mentioning the anti-anxiety of the Buspar.

I haver never taken it so I was confusing it with something else.


=-=-

I went online to order a swimsuit appropriate for the gym.
Also pants and shirt for the gym as well.


Two years ago I benefited by going in the water --- even if I all did was float
around although sometimes I swam enough to get some cardio work.

I will have to talk myself into going because dealing with my car keys and locker key and glasses and wallet and locking stuff up and following gym rules of wearing flip flops or whatever . . . . .all that freaked me out last time.

(I was afraid that I would end up naked or wet and not have keys. or something. There are too many steps to go through in a certain order
and any mistake could be dire.)

I have to get myself feeling organized and non-depressed enough to deal with
the hassle and do all the steps in order to get into the pool and then out of the pool and so on.

Anyway, shipping is slow ---> 6 to 19 days and we will see if the stuff fits.

M