For the first part of the day I was able to pretend that I function. Later
I was not able to.

So depressed -- can't think straight & made a two huge paperwork mistakes.

Only fixed part of it. Such a mess.

Hubby is consistent and overall reliable but truly not helpful for me right now except for his steadiness -- which does count for something ---

--- otherwise I would be on the streets -- no family member
would take me in except for baby brother and he is close to broke and his wife might not allow it anyway because she is a control freak

your father would never let that happen and you should tell him your fears.
I had those fears and alice rescued me.

I have nowhere to go but where I am either, Mari

How did you leave things with your pdoc as far as meds?

Thinking of you Mari, and hoping things get better for you soon

hugs
love
bobby

Oh Mari,
I am sorry that you are struggling so. I am glad that your husband is consistent, so is mine.
Am glad that you think you are getting enough sleep mostly.
Sorry you are so depressed.
I so wish that your life were easier for you....
((((HUGS AND LOVE)))))
bizi

Re My Father:
A short time ago, my father sent each of my siblings and me a
card with a check (decent sized -- worth a little
more than a month's pay for hubby and me) telling us
he hoped we used it for something fun and special and

telling us not to visit him and Mom.


He also said in the card that he and mom enjoy visiting each
of us once a year.

I called my father to thank him for the money and card
and he said the same thing as the card -- use it for yourselves.
Do not come here.
Two siblings I phoned said that they clearly understood him when he said:
do not come see them.

Sis said it has to do with his control issues.
The New England brother laughed with me on the phone.

I was upset. It helped that brother laughed with me.


M

I'm feel very badly that your father felt like he could... buy you off/away from him? No matter his logic or reasoning, and Lord only knows what it was, I would feel rejected

I'm sorry you had to go through that, Mari
But I'm really glad that your brother was able to help you cope in a way by getting you to laugh about the situation

Father runs high/almost manic sometimes. And drinks.


My sister moved across the country with my parents about 15 years ago
when she was out of a job and depressed.

Eventually she found a boyfriend, married him, and they bought a house across
the street from Mom and Dad. Parrents LOVE the husband and are mostly
o.k. with my sister
. . . ( . . .she nags them a little about things like how they
need to speak up when they go to doctor appts. . . . . . )


It might be that my talk of quitting my job precipitated his sending money/card
Or it could be about one or both of the brothers.

I will f*****g ask him when they come at Christmas time.

=-=-
Not sure I will be in the mood to talk to him. He is always an ********* that
we have learned handle since we were children.


ANGRY right now.
Maybe will try not to think about it.

M

I am sorry it is all so upsetting.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

My father is a bipolar alcoholic. He's ridiculous. Occasionally my brother and I (my sister is totally estranged from him) get checks from him that I call "blood money," usually after he's done something inexcusable.

Do you feel like you father may be trying to keep you away because he's trying to hide something? Just a thought.

I don't blame you for being angry
But I hope you can manage not think about it too much/too often