When we first moved here, we decided that Corey would put the dirty laundry in my trunk in the morning, and would bring the clean laundry in when he got home from work. That's very helpful, but I still struggle at the laundromat. We'll see how I'm doing next week. I may have to find a way to alter how I do things, or ask Corey to go with me, which I'm sure he'd be just thrilled about.

I don't have a set weekly schedule for which day of the week I do things because weather has interfered, and appointments always do, and I don't know how I'll feel from one day to the next. The rest of my routine has been thrown upside down tho, and I'm not getting enough sleep... and I need a lot of sleep right now so I have my best chance to recover (at least a bit) faster and better.
I'm going to have to shower first thing in the morning, leave him a sandwhich or something in the fridge for lunch, and just leave to do my errands when I need to. I can't leave here and get home so late.

I'm not going to say that I shouldn't be out, but I'm aware that I have no business doing so much and being out so late. I've been handicapped for a long time, but right now, I'm really handicapped. I'm a mess.

I went to the dispensary yesterday. They didn't have one of the kinds of MJ I wanted, so I'll be trying something new again. I have to finish what I have in my bowl and what I've ground first though. I decided to buy higher dose edibles, and got some raspberry flavored gummies. I ate one last night and it did work. Eating vs. smoking MJ is usually a different high, but I didn't notice any difference.

Can you hire a young person for a few dollars to go to the laundromat with you?


Some laundromats for a reasonable fee let you drop off your items. Then they
wash and dry them for you and have them ready for pick up.
Some even pick up and deliver to your apartment.



=-=-
Through the years I have changed my idea of cleanliness.


~for example how often the bed linens and blankets get changed.

~how many times I can wear something to work before washing.

=====
What they used to call the "little clothes," the underwear and such, I do wash.

They could be washed in the sink or tub if I did not have a washing machine.


=-=-
Towels are heavy when they are wet so I would not want try to wash them by hand unless I bought an appropriate set of small towels.


M

I have made the same changes as you, Mari. I don't hand wash anything tho. We just have LOTS of socks and underwear.
The main problem is that Corey's really heavy, filthy work clothes need to be washed regularly. He wears jeans, a tee-shirt, button-down shirt, and (this time of year) sometimes a sweatshirt to work every day.
I think it would cost a mint for drop-off service because you pay by the pound, and I don't like the idea of someone else touching my undies :eek:
There are no kids around to help. I think I'm going to try to take a small load to the laundromat myself and see how it goes. Depending on how I do, and/or how I end up once this relapse is over, I may have to hire someone to help me do the laundry if Corey can't/won't... maybe my upstairs neighbor. She could use the beer money lol

With Corey being home and in the bathroom all day during the week, I hadn't been able to take any mag. citrate. I was very uncomfortable, so I finally took some yesterday, and I feel much better this morning. That's something I need to somehow get back to doing regularly, too despite the schedule disruption.

I had no problem going to bed at 11pm last night, and I was up at 6am this morning, so I went right back to my regular schedule. Corey mentioned he may be back on 1st shift by Thursday. We will see how that shakes out...

I still have to do my regular grocery shopping. I can make it until at least tomorrow. I will have to do it in the morning tho so that Corey can bring in the bags before he goes to work.

Good luck with the grocery shopping Kay.

I hope it works out that you get it done while he is still home.
If something happens and he isn't see if the upstairs tenant
will help you bring them in for a little bit of money.

Or even just to be nice.

Donna

Yesterday Corey and I went out shopping to get him new boots and buy some tools that needed to be replaced. Damn is that s*** expensive! Fortunately everything he needed at Home Depot was in one little area, so I didn't have to walk through the whole store. I went with him because he needed things, and if I didn't go, he wouldn't go on his own.

When we got home, I brought up how bad off I was. I didn't ask him to help me do the laundry. I just told him I would need his help at least this week. He immediately agreed. WOW. :)
Maybe we will do that tomorrow? It would be a good day to do it.

I also told him I'd need to get into the shower early this morning because I would be doing the grocery shopping before he leaves for work today so he can bring in the bags. There was no disagreement there either, but I didn't really expect any. I can't bring in all those bags myself, so it just makes sense to do things that way.

I hate the fact that I can't do what I want/need to do on my own right now, and you know how I hate asking for help, but I'm facing a new reality- that's hopefully temporary- so I just have to bite the bullet.

I was up at 6am again this morning. Corey was awake when I woke up, but he was trying to get back to sleep. I haven't gotten into the shower yet because I'm afraid I'll wake him up. It's back to the 2nd shift schedule today... UGH.

I am glad that he is being agreeable.
bizi

Good that you are talking to him in a way that he hears.


M

He is not being so agreeable about doing the laundry now, so I don't know when, or if, that plan will come to fruition. He says he doesn't want to do it before he goes to work while he is on 2nd shift. He expects to be back on first shift on Thursday, and I know he will not want to do laundry after work. So that leaves the weekend, which will be hell because so many of the machines at the big laundromat are broken, and it's already been 2 weeks since I've done the laundry...

Despite all that, he was b****ing yesterday that he was on his last clean pair of work pants (he's not because I have more stashed in another place). When we talked about it last night, I could feel him kinda pushing me to do the laundry myself by being rigid and unpleasant. I don't know if I should try doing a small load solo or not. I will decide that today.

Yesterday I made it through the supermarket in one piece and without any war stories to tell, but I was exhausted when I got home. Shortly after Corey left at 1pm I laid on the couch vs. in bed because I was expecting a package. I know I made it at least until 2, but I don't know what time I fell asleep. The postman didn't ring the bell until about 4:30. I didn't open the package. I just went to bed and didn't wake up until after 8pm! :eek:
Then I stayed up with Corey until 1am, and slept in until 7 this morning.

I have to go to the post office today to return 2 packages to Amazon, then I have to go buy cigarettes. It would be nice if I got around to cleaning the floors, but I would have to get that done before my nap in case I sleep really late again.

Change is hard especially when You are used to a routine.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

I can't expect any help with the laundry from Corey during the week. All the laundromats will be mobbed on the weekend. That's what I don't like about waiting, and is part of why I've been considering trying to take a small load to the laundromat myself, but that wouldn't put a dent in the big dirty clothes pile we have. I don't know how safe it would be, or if I have the energy to do it either, so I should wait. Beggars can't be choosers I guess.

I'm staying in today. I'm feeling light-headed and dizzy for some reason. I have to take mag. citrate today, so I'll have to drink a lot of water so I don't get dehydrated and make that worse. I have to call the gastro an make an appointment to see if there's any way they can improve my quality of life in regards to my BR issues. I still can't believe they never ordered an X-ray to check to see if I passed those 11 markers.

I swept up in the kitchen yesterday, but all the hard floors really need a thorough cleaning. I hope I can make myself take care of that, and maybe something else that needs attending to. Since I'm not going out, I should have some gas in the tank.

Sorry you can't get any help during the week for the laundromat.

Wish you qualified for some other kind of help. Wish I knew some
answers. I will wish you some good days.

Donna

Thank you, Donna :hug:

I'm hoping that when the dust clears, I'll see some sort of improvement, but I'm probably going to have to go to pool PT. Maybe then I won't need to beg anyone for help going to the laundromat, but I just don't know.

I didn't get around to doing the floors or drinking the mag. citrate yesterday. I was dizzy and lightheaded all day, so I rested and slept a lot. The apartment isn't as clean as I would like, but it is what it is.

I didn't have to call the gastro's office because one of the medical assistants called me. She said she told the NP about my symptoms, and based on my history she wanted me to have an x-ray today. I haven't heard or spoken to anyone in the office since the 6th when I had 11 markers in me, and I told her so. She said there had been a lot of staffing changes?! What BS. I should have passed all those markers by now, but I guess it is possible I haven't. I made an appointment with the NP for May 14th to discuss possible testing and a better long-term solution to my problems.

I have an appointment for a manicure at 10:30 this morning, and it's lottery day. By the time I leave the nail salon, it will be around noon, and the hospital will be very busy, so I will have to wait forever to get that x-ray done. I will be out for a long time (for me), and I'm sure I will be ready for a long nap by the time I get home.

Corey's back on 1st shift today. I'm sure it will be a difficult adjustment for him... he left at noon yesterday, didn't get home until almost 11pm, and was gone when I woke up around 5:30am this morning... ROUGH! I'm so glad he's going back to his regular schedule. It f***ed me all up, too.

Yesterday I finally swept and mopped the floors!

Good job Kay.

You will be back in the swing of it soon. The 2nd shift is over.
So you will get it back in gear. Just keep going is all you can
do.

Donna

Whoo Hoo, Kay :circlelove:

I got a new computer yesterday!!! :):):)
My old one was is so archaic, I wasn't able to update my operating system or a million other things for years, which was causing a lot of problems and rendering it almost useless.
I got a MacBook Air, and I love it! It will take me a while to set everything up the way I want and to transfer files tho.

In even better news, I was walking a little bit better yesterday! :):):)
ANY improvement is welcome (and exciting) because I was thinking that I was pretty much scr**ed. I'm still walking very slow, and the improvement was short-lived because I tired quickly, but what matters is there is potential for some kind of recovery :)

Right now, it's looking like I'm not going to get any help with the laundry today, and it just can't wait any longer. I guess I'm going to have to try taking a small-ish load to the laundromat tomorrow, and then another one later in the week :o

that is fantastic about the walking and the computer. I just remember the old movie with alec guiness about inventing clothes that never got dirty.
bobby

I am glad that you had some improvement.
This is great news.:Dancing-Chilli:
hope you were able to get a small load done.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

We have 3 laundry baskets- one for my clothes, and two for Corey's. Last night I bagged up my socks, undies, and the clothes I really need to wash first. Then I dumped all of Corey's clothes out on the floor, and was totally overwhelmed. I separated everything into piles, bagged up his socks and undies, and tried to take a few things from every pile...
My load of laundry for today (2 big bags) is much larger than I had anticipated, and I'm nervous about going to the laundromat.

Corey was BS at me last night because I had a really hard time waking up from my nap yesterday, and didn't wake up until 6:30pm. Then the hamburger I took out of the freezer Saturday morning was still frozen solid, so we had to order out. He was being nasty, but kept insisting he wasn't upset. There's no good way to deal with that.

I got to see the radiologist's report from the x-ray I had done on Thursday. Thank God all those markers are gone. The radiologist said I was FOS tho. lol. I took a bottle of mag. citrate on Friday, but it didn't work AT ALL. I'm curious what I'll hear from the gastro's office when/if they call.

I am glad the markers are all gone.!
bizi

Well, I got the laundry done. It was quite the spectacle. One thing I can say for myself is I still have a lot of fight left in me. Of course I'm junk now tho.

There are a lot of things around here that that could use some attention, but I think it's in my best interests to just relax today after what I went through yesterday. I'm already waiting for 2 bottles of mag. citrate to work, and that's bad enough.

The gastro NP called me yesterday. She told me that she didn't see any point in me coming in to see her on the 14th because there's nothing she can do for me. She mentioned referring me to a motility specialist and/or ordering testing... all of this would be in Boston of course. These are the tests she is talking about... thrilling, right?

Anorectal Manometry:
https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/gast..._Manometry.pdf

Defacography:
http://www.motilitysociety.org/wp-co...-8-15-2005.pdf

Wow, Kay.:hug::hug::hug:




M

I took 2 naps yesterday, and I didn't have any problems falling asleep last night, or sleeping through the night. I guess I really needed sleep. The 2 bottles of mag. citrate worked very well, so I'm feeling much more comfortable today, for the first time in quite a while. I think I'm dehydrated tho because I'm feeling off.

I have my Tysabri (MS med) infusion today at 11am. It's supposed to take 2 hrs, but always takes longer than that, especially if I get the lazy nurse. I really need to go grocery shopping, but by the time I get out of there, I know it will be too late in the day for me to do that.

I'll have to go somewhere to pick up milk, TP, and coffee when I escape the hospital today, and make my regular trip to the grocery store tomorrow.

It's been rainy, windy, and in the low 60's for the last couple of days, but out of nowhere, it's going to be 85 degrees and sunny today!
I was happy to find a couple of pairs of shorts and a pair of capri pants that fit me in my dresser. Thank God I don't have to go shopping for summer clothes (at least not bottoms)!!!

My appointment for the Tysabri infusion was for 9am Wednesday. I don't know why I thought it was at 11. I had it written down in my notebook and had reminders set up for the correct time. I didn't realize my error until it was already 9:30. When I called them to apologize, they said they would take me anyway. I ended up with a really fast nurse, and was in and out in 1 1/2 hour.

I had a really, really hard time walking through the hospital. I need PT. I keep fighting with myself over it tho. I just need to bite the bullet and contact my neurologist to ask for the referral. I will make myself do it today.

Wednesday night I passed out on the couch again. But I didn't wake up until 5am... way too late to take my night pills, so I went through withdrawals yesterday. I like to smoke an hour or two before bed to stop the muscle spasms earlier, but I really should just do it right before bed so I don't miss those pills because it's NOT fun.

I never got to the grocery store because I couldn't drive and Corey wouldn't drive me. He worked second shift yesterday and got home around 11:30pm. He has today off, so he will be home to carry in all the bags when I get home... when he gets up. He drank his ***** off after I went to bed...I don't want to wait too long to go to the store tho because it's going to be hot and humid today.

I'm obviously allergic to something on the kitchen/living room/deck side of the apartment. Yesterday, I suddenly started getting fierce hay fever symptoms and had two mild asthma attacks. I ended up taking a generic Allegra I had on hand... I can't believe how well it worked!!! Finally, one f***ing problem easily solved!!! :)

I do have a fever this morning tho. I'm feeling off, and have a sensation of a fullness around my throat/neck, but my glands don't feel swollen, and my throat isn't sore. Weird.

I am sorry you have a fever and are feeling off.
I never know what to say about coreys lack of help for you.:mad:
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

I finally contacted my neuro to ask for a PT referral. He responded right away that he would send one right over to the place I always go to. I also asked him if it was okay to try taking a low dose of Baclofen in the afternoon to see if it will help with the spasticity in my legs because it gets worse after I do some walking and when I get tired (I'm too worried about sedation to take it in the morning at this point)... he okay'ed that.

Baclofen is the med I tried restarting because the spasms in my legs at night got unbearable, but it interacted with my night meds at a low dose, and I started sleep walking, falling asleep on the toilet, etc, so I smoke medical MJ at night instead now. But I don't take the same heavy meds in the morning, and nothing in the afternoon, so I thought it was worth a try. I took 5mg, a very small dose, yesterday at 3pm, and I noticed a little difference. So, I will try increasing the dose to 10mg this afternoon.

I finally got to the supermarket yesterday. Walking through the store was brutal, but I couldn't put it off any longer. I didn't get home until 2:30 because I didn't leave until Corey got out of bed at 1:30. I wanted to be sure he was up and ready to carry in ALL the bags.

I'm feeling much better today... my fever, which hit 101.5, and the feeling of fullness in my throat are gone. I wonder if it was an inflammatory response related to my allergies, which seem to be under control now... IDK. One less worry now tho.

so glad you are feeling better. is there anything you say to yourself when you are going through such horrible rough patches to make you feel better?
love
bobby

You are such a strong lady. I admire your determination.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

I really try to focus on one thing at a time, and I try to change HOW I think about things when I'm having a rough time, and that usually helps (at least temporarily). It can take some time tho, and it seems like I'm constantly doing it.

I didn't take any Baclofen yesterday because I took an early nap. I didn't want to take it before I laid down, or after, because I thought it would be too close to when I take meds. I hope to try taking the 10mg dose today.

I had to look for something to wear for pool PT that would cover up the scars on my wrists and arm. I found a long-sleeve swim top (called a rash guard) I like on Amazon that got good reviews, but none of those things are lined, so I had to search for something to wear under it so my headlights won't show. That was harder to find because with my shoulder problems, it's difficult to pull things over my head, and I didn't want to buy something obscene or spend much. Anyway, I found something, and I hope the things I ordered work out. They should be here on Tuesday. Thank God I already have bottoms that fit!!!

I hope the swim wear works out for you kay.
bizi:hug:

Today is laundry day. I don't think I have to say anymore.

One, or more, of our neighbors has found their way onto our (password protected) Wi-Fi network. It's a little involved/complicated to explain how Corey figured that out, but the problems started when new neighbors moved in.
I changed our Wi-Fi password, and immediately after, before anyone else could could join our network, I changed our online baking password, too.
I want to buy something to enhance the security of our Wi-Fi network (because that's what the cable/internet company will tell me to do), but Corey wants to wait to see if the problems start happening again :confused:

He has been drinking VERY heavily lately. I'm concerned, but I'm also upset and annoyed with him. It's no fun to have to deal with him when he's like that, especially so often.

He's spoiled, and has been doing nothing more to help me. He's not going to "get it" until I really hurt myself.

Hi, Kay,


Changing the passwords probably solved the issue. I hope so.

Is most of the help that you mention re laundry? Is it possible to
do smaller loads by going twice a week instead of once a week?
Is there a group/organization (an app?) that would pick up your laundry, wash and dry and bring it home for you?

Do you qualify for more assistance from your state department of whatever?

Do get him to help you with what you need. He will step up.

I do not know how to stop someone from drinking and I can only imagine that
living with a drinker makes daily life hard.

We have tons of drinkers in my family and my father is one of them. It's not good for him.
One of my brothers drinks too, but we are all relieved that it's legal and that he stays out of jail.

M

After almost 3 weeks of not doing the laundry, I told Corey I needed his help doing it, but then I kinda let him off the hook. But after the last time I did it, I told him I'm AFRAID to do it by myself, but it fell on deaf ears. I wish someone could take video of me doing it, and show it to him... that would be a wake up call.

I am taking less to the laundromat. The problem with that is I'll be forever drowning in laundry. The plan is to go twice a week, but it is so physically draining, I don't know if I can do that. I was so exhausted yesterday I was out of my mind, but I could not take a nap because my legs wouldn't stop going despite taking 10mg of Baclofen. I'm garbage today... had plans to go out to run errands, but that's not happening.

I don't qualify for any kind of aid, and I'm unaware of any residential laundry pick up services in my area. If there are any, they're probably cost-prohibitive.

I would accept any kind of help from Corey. He knows I need it. Even if he would just make some kind of effort to clean up after himself, that would help.
He works hard, but all he does he gets home (aside from making a mess) is:
-Take out the garbage, but he refuses to tie it up
-Carry in the groceries and anything else that's too heavy for me
-Bring the dirty laundry down to the car and carry the laundry bags back up to the apartment when I get home from the laundromat
-Other things that suit his wants and/or needs

I'm not kidding. That's all he does.

I'm a recovered alcoholic, and I have a whole family of alcoholics, including both of my parents. I know you can't make someone else stop drinking. I accept that. I do let him know when he's getting out of control tho. He didn't drink last night, so hopefully he will slow down for a while.


BTW, so far since changing the Wi-Fi password, we haven't detected anyone on our network who shouldn't be there. Hopefully, that lasts.

there are laundry mats here that charge by the pound, you just drop it off and then they do the laundry and you pick it up. Maybe that is some kind of an option for you? maybe they could put the laundry in several smaller bags???? don't know
Hope you are napping now.
bizi

One option:

Stop washing his clothes.


When he decides he needs clean clothes, he can do them himself or
ask if he can help you.

Sorry about what you are going through.


M

I ended up smoking MJ vs. taking the Baclofen yesterday afternoon because I was really banged up, and pot helps with pain, but Baclofen does not. Then I had a nice nap. I can't do that every day tho. I don't want to turn into a pot head.

If I did drop-off service, I would sill have to carry the laundry bags in and out of the laundromat, which is my biggest problem.

My husband is not like yours'. I hadn't done laundry for 3 weeks because I didn't think I could/should do it, and I was still hoping to get better before I tried. Corey was down to one raggedy pair of undies and a bathing suit, and that wasn't enough of an incentive for him to go with me voluntarily, even though I told him I needed him to go with me, and he initially agreed. So I broke down and went myself.

I'm always letting him off the hook, and I've spoiled him, and that's part of the reason why I'm stuck doing everything now. The rest is laziness and apathy. Our relationship is very dysfunctional.

So much for slowing down... he came home with an 18-pack yesterday and started drinking before 3pm. There are 3 beers left in the fridge.


The swimwear came yesterday. The medium size long-sleeve swim top is very pretty and fit me well, but the sleeves really aren't long enough to hide my wrist scars. I ordered the large as well. The sleeves are really long, but it's also really big on me, especially for something to wear in the water. I ordered a different one that has thumb holes, so it will definitely cover my scars, but I could only get it in a large... I hope it works out better cuz don't know how much more messing around with all this s*** I'm up for.

the one with the holes for thumbs sounds perfect!
bizi

It does sound perfect, but I could only get a large in the black, so I hope they run really small. They make a navy blue though, and there are a couple of other ones in a similar style on Amazon. I just hate this buying/returning cycle.

My little brother (30 yo and not little lol) is graduating from college on Mothers Day. My mother has been gone going on 21 years, but he said he wants my sister, aunt, and me there because we are all like mothers to him :hug:
I don't know how I will manage it walking like I am now, but I will be going.
I have no idea what to get him. I was thinking of throwing him some cash or getting him a fine bottle of champagne. I have no other ideas. Men don't appreciate the same kind of mommntos women do. My brother certainly doesn't.

I was feeling better yesterday, so I ran some errands and vacuumed the rugs in the bedrooms. I feel like I need to take advantage of the good days I have, but I always push my luck. I will never learn.

I'm getting my nails done this morning, and it's lottery day. I'll be going home right after. Maybe I'll be able to do some light cleaning, but right now, it's not looking good.

I have to get in the shower! I'm running late!

How's it going, Kay?

Do you follow any sports besides football?


I so much wish I was in a market that had a good baseball team.



N

It's funny you brought up sports, Mari. I decided to buy my brother a gift certificate to a ticket agency for his graduation. He goes to several Red Sox and Pats games a year, so he will make good use of it.

I used to be a DIE HARD Red Sox fan... never missed a game, knew everyone's stats, listened to sports radio all the time, etc. Corey doesn't enjoy baseball, so I would DVR games and watch them after he went to bed. But that was when I was not sleeping at night...
LONG story short, I can't stay up that late anymore, and I had to give up my Red Sox. I could DVR the games and watch them during the day, but I'm afraid of being sucked back in. It was an addiction. I miss my baseball tho.

The swim top with the thumb holes arrived. The style is perfect, but it's way too big, so I will have to return it, too. I will have to be VERY careful about the next one I order because I'm NOT doing another f***ing return.

I told Corey last night:
" Last weekend you did yard work for (your step father), and this weekend is Mothers Day. Next weekend I NEED YOUR HELP. I want to take ALL the laundry we have to the laundromat so I can catch up. It's unreasonable to expect me to go twice a week. I really shouldn't be going by myself AT ALL."

He agreed.
This time, I'm going to hold his feet to the fire. It won't get me out of doing laundry by myself, but I won't feel so overwhelmed, and I won't feel pressured to take so much to the laundromat every time. I'm proud of myself for asserting myself. I will remind him of the conversation in case he was drunker than I thought he was when we talked about it, which sometimes happens.

I colored my hair yesterday morning and cleaned the tub/shower afterwards. I laid down for a nap around noon, and by the time I woke up at 5:30pm, the mag. citrate I took about 10hrs before started working.
I needed all that sleep. I've been running errands, have been trying to get cleaning done, and missed a nap somewhere along the way.

I have a lot to do today, but I don't see how I can get it all done. If I do too much today, I will have a harder time getting around at my brother's graduation tomorrow.