[Gethprime]

my ex thinks shes getting into my head. im thinking youre dead wrong coming from someone who cheated on me. i never cheated on her. but then again the girl im with no still wanted me back. and i know she lives in the philippines i know she wont cheat on me

[bizi]

hope you get your wishes for happiness.
bizi

[bizi]

I call myself an alcoholic (I say I have an addictive personality: food, alcohol , internet) but don't want anyone else to call me that. Maybe I feel it is a judgement on their part, judging me.
I don't want to be judged.
I already feel ashamed of a behavior, when I choose to drink and drive. Usually I have only had a few and I am very close to home 5 blocks, neighbor hood blocks, 25 miles per hour blocks.
I am embarrassed by how much weight I have gained. I look in the mirror and wonder who is this woman????
anyway.
I wonder if this rings true to other people who suffer with addictions?

lunch today was a mix up of healthy food and not so healthy food.
I was on the north west side of lafayette, scott LA. Home of the best boudin balls in the area. So I had to stop for one but ended up ordering 2, one regular and one pepperjack cheese. they were both delicious! After that I went to sandras health food cafe and had a piece of veggie quiche.

For dinner I Had a good meal tonight of chicken fahitas the 2nd meal from the food box meals. tomorrow is sweet and spicy chicken teryaki over rice.

I passed the witching hour for beer, small cravings when I saw hubby having one.
I have said that I was not going to drink until friday when we go to pensicola for a quick trip for 2 nights. It is kinda like a last hurrah before hubby goes back to teaching, and to celebrate our wedding anniversary which is the 24th.
We made it to 22 years!
So I still have time to think of some gift for him.
I am terrible at gift giving.

After dinner I went to planet fitness and walked on the tred mill for 75 minutes. 60 of which were on a 5% incline. I went 3.5 miles, and actually sweat a bit. Then rewarded myself with 10 minutes on the hydro message bed.

I am a bit hungry maybe have a fudge bar for 40 calories.
I am missing seinfeld but will catch the second one at 10pm.
my neck is a lot better about 80%. don't know if it my arthritis or
muscular, probably both.
All in all I saw 3 clients today and had another area frozen off of my fore head it did not take.. Last monday I had 10 areas frozen....dark sun spots from the sun.
I am considering have more cosmetic surgery, light therapy maybe laser. My face is riddled with scars from acne and rosacea spider veins on my checks I still deal with acne.. I hate my complexion.
Will see, it is expensive!

Hubby says to do it.
He is a good man and am very lucky to be married to him
bizi

[Dmom3005]

If hubby says go for it. Do .

You can treat yourself to this. Say I'll treat myself to this.
And maybe not have a drink in its place. Yes, I do realize
the cost isn't anywhere the same, but its the thought that
counts.

Donna

[bizi]

Took a shower!!!!!!
Left over Cabbage soup for breakfast, 3 cups of coffee.
lunch was veggie lasagna from sandras with swiss chard.
mid afternoon I snacked on some almonds and took a caffeine pill.
dinner was the last of the meal box. sweet and spicy stir fry chicken teriyaki .
It took the longest time to cook about 45 minutes.
It was very good.
had 2 pieces of dark chocolate for desert
but was feeling like that was not enough so I had a fudge bar.
oh rats I am having more hot flashes today have had 3 when I had not had any in quite a while. I really thought I was done with that part. guess not....
My hands are glistening as I type.
I intended to do some paper work but that did not happen.
Maybe I can get up early and do some in the morning.
It is possible that I could do this!
I remained alcohol free as per my goal until friday
when we go to pensicola florida for a couple of days.

Saw 4 clients....great day!
bizi

[Gethprime]

why do bad things always happen to me? now the girl im with doesnt even want to talk on the phone for 1 min

[bizi]

I am sorry prime.


Got up early this morning to do paperwork as I did not get any done last night. Billing is done, now all that is left is filing which is easy to do.

Last night I booked our first outing for prague. We will go to a dinner with mozart/ vocalists and 5 piece quintet in a lovely venue.
On to my 3rd cup of coffee...need to start getting ready for the day.
bizi

[OhKay]

Bizi, I'm glad that you are getting the cosmetic surgery done for yourself... I hope that it helps improves your self-image

When I have a hard time getting my rings on and off it is usually because I've eaten a lot of salt (maybe from the meal kit?), or washed my hands a lot, done a lot of dishes, or cleaning.

I love those 40 calorie fudge pops! Don't be afraid to have 2!

It sounds like you are eating well... great job at the gym!

[OhKay]

Gethprime,

I'm sorry that your ex-fiance cheated on you and you had to break your engagement. It sounds like it really is for the best. Lord only knows what you would have had to deal with down the road with her

And I'm sorry that things seem a little rocky with your former flame who is back in the picture now. I hope that the problem with the phone calls is only temporary. Have you asked her why the calls are so brief now?

[bizi]

Got done early today which was not good as then the witching hour comes sooner and becomes that much more difficult to remain alcohol free.
And on my way home I had to chant in my head "I am in control, I am in control" and so one for half the ride home.,,,then almost went to Fat Pats for a couple of beers just down the street from my house. Almost.
I remembered this acronym: Halt, Was I hungry, angry, lonely or tired?
So I sat on this for a while and decided that I was hungry.
Then as soon as I got home I reheated some left overs for an early dinner.
Pasta/sausage and some lentil/rice that I picked up at sandras.
I also drank a cream soda which I love..
Had too much to eat, then I had a fudge bar and reevaluated how I felt.
Well, I was tired, kept falling asleep at the computer so decided to lay down and take a nap.
In the mean time Jeff has gone to a dinner meeting.
There is beer in the fridge that I love.
I just woke up from an hour and a half nap ... I had gotten up early at 6:30 am to do paper work that I did not get done last night.
Importantly, I remained alcohol free.
Was going to go to the gym but it is too late.
Saw 4 clients today, had lunch with an acquaintance, Bill.
I would say this was a successful day.
bizi


edited to say:
I ended up going to the gym and walked a 5K.
now am headed to bed.
thanks for your support!
bizi