[tritone]

dazed and so confused
scrambling to meet the deadline
far too little sleep

push yourself harder
the world might end if you don’t
as if that were true

ever longer days
I can barely even think
is today sunday?

the madness creeps in
never knowing when to stop
how much is enough

I’ve left the planet
I orbit some other mass
far out of your range

there are deep caverns
they remain absent of light
places you can’t go

a thousand feet down
you pump the oxygen down
so that I can breath

back to outer space
solar batteries are low
its time to come home

hello ground control
are we go for re-entry?
plot my safe return

[waves]

dazed and amazed.
breathless.

~ waves ~

[mymorgy]

bravo
Bobby

[bizi]

Hi there tritone.
Great to see you and so talented.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

[tritone]

Thanks, I'm pretty new to writing any kind of poetry but I'm finding like I music that sometimes I can say what I otherwise couldn't express.

I wrote that in the car in the 16th hour of a 17 hour car trip out to the mid-west with my wife, and two dogs :-) I wanted to put an entry in my blog, but I was just too tired and I couldn't seem to put anything together except these little 'haikus'.

Our office building was directly adjacent to the steam pipe explosion in Manhattan. My boss left on vacation a few days later. We had to shut our data center down because there was no air conditioning and the temperature hit 118 F. This was done remotely since we had no access to the building and we were being told we might not get back in for months due to asbestos fears.

We got back in this past Monday and brought our systems back up. But the entire week and a half prior I was working nearly round the clock lining up an emergency data center in NJ, coordinating vendors, etc... The only senior person was the CTO who has only been with the company for six weeks and wasn't able to contribute too much to the effort. My boss became less and less available. It was a lot of work and a lot of long days and late nights.

My boss came back from vacation and was fired. Not so much because of his absence, but because he and the new CTO never saw eye to eye on anything. The new CTO then announced that he was bringing his "#2 man from [his] last job" in to be the new "Director of Networking and Infrastructure".

I had been stressing over this vacation for months. My wife hadn't seen her parents in three years. Everyone was looking forward to it and I didn't want to let them down. Mostly I was afraid that the people down at probation wouldn't let me go. I haven't had a permanent probation officer since February and nobody could give me the final ok. I got an official modification from the original state signed by a judge saying I can travel for specific reasons, but ultimately it is up to the PO to give the final blessing.

On top of that, some of the guys in the group I attend told horror stories about having to alert the local authorities, etc... thus exposing their in-laws or family in the area to the stigma that goes along with this kind of thing. Especially in a small town.

When the emergency happened at work they told me I wouldn't be able to go, and I pretty much didn't worry about it because there was just so much I had to do to keep the recovery moving forward. I asked that they please hold off on a decision until late in the week when we might be in better shape or even fully back in the building.

To make a long story short, there was a lot of stress that went into this. Ultimately probation said I could go. We got back into the building and things were stable. The new CTO said that I could take my vacation and that there would be a consultant on call to cover me and help the new guy (his #2) acclimate to the new environment. It was pretty strange the way it all went down. I don't fully trust the new CTO yet, so I'm hoping that he truly just enabling me to take vacation and not planning another change of staff.

On the morning of my appointment to probation I tried to type a letter of my itinerary to present to the PO, hoping he would let me go. My entire home network was down. My wife had been getting the office ready for my son who will be staying with us for the rest of August. She must have knocked something loose and I just couldn't print and I didn't have time to troubleshoot and fix it.

So I just COMPLETLY lost it... I'd been working round the clock for over a week trying to get work's IT infrastructure functional and here my own was messed up. That was the last straw and all that frustration and fear and shame just erupted in a fit of anger with much screaming and yelling and throwing.

So I guess this little poem was a meager attempt to express some of those things and say I'm sorry.

We made it. We are here... at the inlaw's and having a wonderful time.

[waves]

you HAVE been roughin' it.

nothing like doing loop de loops at work and when the parents would call friday evening (TGIF eh?) and say, uhhhhh our system won't go, or, sometimes it does but it gives a blue screen with a bunch of numbers on it, or sometimes it says windows and stops, or.... ACK!!! and oh by the way and it makes a rantling noise. ACCCKKKK! (oh boy. there went my weekend...) But that was back when i was working - too much... and lived 1.5 hrs from my parents.

well i think you made a REAALLL fine job at an apology... i sure hope your wife enjoyed it, and appreciated the sentiments and effort.

i suspect upon your return to work you will be no less than gleefully greeted with ... more work, which i hope doesn't wring you out like this last bout. anyway, i wouldn't worry about being replaced: surely they saw how hard you worked before leaving. otherwise they are idiots.

you guys have a great vacation!

~ waves ~