I am taking my taxes in today. I feel rotten. I have been feeling rotten. I have been spending money. I have had such negative thoughts. My therapist is coming today but I can't explain them. I feel so isolated. suri called but I wouldn't say much. I know things are so much worse for other people. that doesn't help. I feel so very isolated. I ran out of the food and just ordered more yesterday. I gained back some weight.

It's good that you are taking care of taxes.


I hope that the therapist is helpful.


M

I don't know if she is helpful. she is not gentle. she ripped up her back going after a tennis ball some years ago and had to have surgery and an implant.
I forgot if I said she went to nepal for a trek. she doesn't have my nature. she says mostly what i know but she is't soothing.she is a real animal lover. I am so stubborn/
yesterday I went to drop off my taxes and enjoyed walking outside two blocks.
I got myself hobbily sick eating dr atkins bars. I bet I gained back all my weight. I am perverse.

I think she is fearless and I am the opposite. if only she could teach me to lessen my fears and anxiety. I will ask her.

I have a hard time expressing how I'm feeling a lot of the time, too. My best advice is just to talk about whatever is on the top of your head/tip of your tongue- whatever it is. It doesn't have to be related to your mental health, but your therapist may be able to pick up on something and ask you questions...

Some people are just hard to talk to, or a therapist may not be the right fit. I've never had a therapist who talks a lot about herself, or her life like yours does. And I think you deserve one that is gentle

Thinking about how hard other people's lives are compared to one's own usually doesn't work. Your own problems and your own suffering is real, just different. Minimizing that is not helpful

Why do you say you are "perverse"? I don't think that you are at all

I think that is an excellent idea, Bobby

like I know I should try to go for little walks for example which I don't.

I am took a walk. I woke up from a nap and swept up a broken light bulb frm abby and and almost took a short walk. there is hope. I got on the scale. I hardly gained anything. I a not depressed. I am swinging from mood to mood

I should do a lot of things, but don't. And I shouldn't do others, but do.

Thinking about going for little walks is a good thing. You will get there

I am hoping that you moods even out and that you have lesser depression.
You are so hard on yourself.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi