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I'm glad that you got so much joy out of meeting Cecilia's new puppy :)
But her not allowing him to lick you because of the meds you take is just silly! It's not like you excrete them from your pores! :rolleyes: Have her ask HER vet about it because doggies like to lick. I know it's hard to get out and walk in the halls, so great job! It may also help with your constipation... If the magnesium citrate doesn't clean you all out the first time, wait a couple of days so you don't get dehydrated and take another bottle. That should clear you out. I know how uncomfortable constipation can be :hug: I'm so sorry that you are so depressed, Bobby. It sounds like you are having a lot of negative thinking right now, and that must be very overwhelming :hug::hug::hug: I'm glad that you are still seeing you therapist, but when do you see your pdoc again? I know he has objections to changing the dosages of certain meds, but he has to try to do something for you because this miserable episode has gone on too long :hug::hug::hug: Thinking good thoughts for you today, and sending you my love (((HUGS))) |
(((((HUGS)))
for you today. Wish you felt better. bizi |
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I didn't walk the halls yesterday. will try today. the magnesium did work but then I felt I was getting constipated again. I took phillip caplets and today I keep going. I already had five cups of coffee. I am severely depressed. I think it is mainly bipolar. I have been surrounded by my kitty cats and that hasn't helped. The plunge in the stock market hasn't helped. the fear of the doctor's appt hasn't helped. got a standard passover card from my oldest nephew. I wished a happy passover and wrote that I would pray for him. that didn't help. got money back from ebay and that didn't help. haven't lost weight. want to cry so badly.keep on telling myself it is mostly bipolar depression and it will pass. I am still spending |
Oh, Bobby,
Really sorry that you are having a hard time. M |
thank you. I really have to force myself to start showing some control and walking in the halls and stop beating myself up. I am showing no mercy which I think is making things worse.
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Why do we beat ourselves up?
((((HUGS))))) bizi |
I think I have done it all my life. My therapist this time says I don't take credit for what I have accomplished. I just look at what I f#$ked up. Do we have high standards for ourselves? Does the bipolar get in the way of our potential. when I was tested it always said I didn't live up to my potential. that is frustrating.
I just looked up on my credit card. It is going to be a big one this time too. I am getting scared. I just bought a pretty bra that fits. I am at the stage now where I feel like throwing out things. I don't need shoes. I don't need bags. I don't need bras or pants or books or lamps orr sweaters or tee shirts. I am going to have to pay the accountant. then I just will need food. Hope I can control myself. |
I know that with my anxiety I will worry my self to death if I let myself.
So I try to limit the worrying myself. My sister that has bipolar has gotten the majority of dealing with my mom right now. She is also the youngest. But she was dealing with an issue of a toilet that was broke, that needed fixed. ONe sister who is gone on vacation was okay with amount spent. My mom was. And I would have said, its fine. My sister that wants to do nothing but can spend or take out what she thinks is needed. Is the tight person of us. Was mad, it was too much. She did apologize, but she wasn't the one that got hurt. She is the one that thinks everyone else can do the things needed. They have all the time. She has to work. Ugh. I felt bad, I wasn't there to help. Donna:hug: |
I think the depression is from your BP, too. It is so hard to treat, especially since your pdoc feels like his hands are tied because of your past stroke :hug::hug::hug:
I beat myself up so badly. I think it's mostly from my upbringing. Both my parents were alcoholics, my family was so f***ing dysfunctional, and my mother's standards were impossibly high. I think maybe I just can't let go of anything because of the BP tho. Have you ever thought about selling things on eBay vs. throwing them out or giving them away? You must have a ton of shoes. And I know you always buy nice ones. Maybe Robert could help set you up? I'm sorry that everything is making you feel worse vs. better right now- except for the kitties. They can be so comforting. I'm glad that they are good company right now. I hope that Cecilia will bring Prince over soon :hug::hug::hug: I hope today is a better day, and something good happens for a change (((HUGS))) |
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