I am so scared about my spending. it is so out of control. it is so related to my depression. The stock market will probably keep on going down. I have no room for all the clothes I am buying. I hardly leave my apartment. I keep on buying shoes
good new suri got new cancer medication and she has been going to the dead sea. she thinks it will help her cancer. she uses a lot of holistic things. yeah

I am off risperdal and now on rexulti

Bobby

Keep working on things. You can do this.

Donna

he said risperdal may prevent me from crying

I think I already feel the effects of the switch. I had weird dreams last night. I am sort of numb but not depressed. I just took another one. I feel like crying.

I rang cecllia's doorbell to give prince a christmas toy. I had ordered it before. I have missed him. she was friendly and said to come over later

When I went through a period of depression Rexulti worked really well for me. I know our BP is different, but I think it may really help you

What Mari said about non-depressed people not being able to understand what things are like for depressed people is true tho. My periods of depression are different and more treatable. I do know how you struggle, and wish things were different and easier for you all

I'm glad that you rang Cecilia's bell, and she was pleasant. Did you ever go back over?

I wonder how long it takes to help. I am sooooo depressed. I am going over cecilia's at 6:30/ I will play with Prince. My kitty cats are being affectionate. I will take marci out for lunch on monday. then I will see zeynep who I now talk to at length almost every day. I sort of feel dead. I feel okay when I am eating ice cream. Practically all food now doesn't appeal to me but I am still eating. I have the ingredients for more cabbage soup but I don't feel like having it. I have been reading a lot but right now I don't really feel like reading. I wish I could just fall asleep. I got so many packages. the buying was a high but getting them is painful. no joy.

Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury,pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek?to be consoled as to console;?to be understood as to understand;?to be loved as to love.?For it is in giving that we receive;?it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;?and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen

I have been listening to the messiah and thinking how suffering brings you closer to God

no mention was made of Pika. I played with Prince. Usually cecilia serves food but she didn't. after forty five minutes she said she was tired and looked it so I left.