[bizi]

I am sorry that I have been absent.
Thought I would start a new thread.
I have been on the computer so much.

I thought by signing off/taking a break that I would be on the computer less.
So I said I would take a break from all of the forums that I post on.
So what happened instead is that I spent hours on face book.

no better....
So here I am back after one week being gone.
I also felt like a failure because I was not making good strides in self care.
My drinking has increased.
My weight has gone up.
I am not taking my vitamins like I should.
not even brushing my teeth right or washing my face sometimes. I guess I was/am depressed.
Am eating some junk food although That is somewhat under control.
I was getting down on myself.
I am so over weight....I could scream.
My drinking has got to stop.
I just bought 2 -4packs of a beer that I like. It is called ghost in the machine. A local brewery beer with a high percentage alcohol content.


We have done several halloween things that I half forget because I drank so much....
sigh
We are having a friend over for dinner tomorrow night Talapia lemon pepper and a big salad.
thursday night am going to a musical chicago with my girl friend melissa.
She is a therapist and I hide my drinking from her.
Friday night is the university symphony concert where the members will be dressed in costumes.
I am bringing a new friend of mine. Her name is karen. She does not drive.
So we are picking her up at 6;30, concert starts at 7;30 but we want to get there in plenty of time to get a seat. doors open at 7pm.

She is a new friend of mine that I met at sandras health food cafe.
We eat together 3-4 times per week for the past 3 weeks.
I really like her.
She has a photographic mind and tells interesting stories of her life.
She has a history of people abandoning her.
I really like her and want to help her if I can.
I brought her a satsuma orange today. She had never had one.
She needs a recliner she is on her bed in her living room.
She has chronic fatigue syndrome and lot so of allergies.
She has this beautiful smile.

Brings her own soap to wash her hands with.
Unfortunately, she found some things in her food so that she is limited in what she can eat.
She is a vegetarian and gluten free.
I really feel like I can/ want to help her.
She says that I am the first person to really listen to her.
That made me feel sad for her. I have hugged her twice since I have met her. She is someone to eat lunch with she is there 3-4 times a week.
I can't imagine not being able to drive. She lives in public housing and lives below the poverty level. She depends upon handicapped transportation and has to schedule rides 2 weeks in advance. and she can't schedule more than one day....each day she has to call in for the next 2 weeks. I don't know how she does this.



She has been back here since august first. She lived with her mother a month before moving to her new apartment september 1st. I don't know how she did that because her mother abused her her whole life.

Any way.
I like her and want to help her.
bizi
______________

[mymorgy]

so nice to have you back. you have been missed. you are such a kind person. I can't stop eating and am worried about my diabetes.
love
bobby

[OhKay]

It’s so good to have you back, Bizi

I’m sorry that you are still struggling with your addictions, and feel like you are depressed

I’m glad that you have made a new friend. It sounds like she has/had a lot of sadness in her life. It is admirable that you want to help her, and I think it may be therapeutic for you

I hope that you have a good time with all the great activities coming up

[bizi]

Thanks kay,
Got to sleep in today.
Was to have seen 4 clients today and ending up only having to see 2 this afternoon. I slept with out the alarm which is always good.
Now to get ready for the day.
Need a second cup of coffee.
Have a great day yall
bizi

[Dmom3005]

I really am glad your back.

You can get things on gear again. Im' glad you found a new friend.


Donna

[bizi]

Originally Posted by mymorgy

so nice to have you back. you have been missed. you are such a kind person. I can't stop eating and am worried about my diabetes.
love
bobby

thank you bobby.
You are a kind woman too.
I worry that I might become diabetic if I keep gaining weight.
sigh
bizi

[mymorgy]

topamax used to work for me but it no longer does for appetite suppressant

[OhKay]

Even tho I'm not gaining any weight, I'm overeating, too. And it's all candy and ice cream. My last random blood sugar was 116. The one before was 108. I have good reason to worry I guess.

You seem to eat mostly healthy things, Bizi. I think that probably lowers your risk

[Dmom3005]

I'm not sure what to tell those of you that worry. Your going
to be at risk for diabetes.

I've been an diabetic for I believe about 10 years. Not honestly
sure how long. I was and am overweight. But in my case
I was also pre-diabetic for probably 5 years. I just didn't
seem to be able to keep the blood sugar from rising.

I do know that it runs in my family, so I was predisposed to
it for lack of better word.
My grandfather on my mothers side had it really bad.
My mother had it.
I know that at least one of my sister's blood sugar is watched
closely. Guessing the other two might be also.
Mine has been for about 20 years.

I don't eat the best, but even when I do. I can't get lower than
106, and I am fine with that. Because its considered pretty good.

I take metformin and have been lucky that its always worked the
best. Its all I've ever had, except in the hospital when admitted
I always get insulin.

Donna

[OhKay]

So, how are you doing, Bizi?