Thank you Bizi :hug: You are too kind.... I have always considered myself a coward :o

I do not what exactly life wants from me.... it keeps throwing me rocks you know...
I wanted to go to Las Vegas, I think I told you... well, apparently there is no time for my aunt to get her VISA and I cant picture myself alone there.... Oh well.... I tried I guess....

Im tired.... every time I try to do something, I fail... I AM AN EFFING FAILURE. When will things star going well for me.

:icon_cry:

You are not a coward! And are not a failure either.
You are still grieving which is normal.:(
hugs to you my dear!
((((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Blue. You are not a coward. Not at all. It's a problem somewhere in the emotions, and biochemicals that process your emotions. It's a lot of sensitivity. The mental health challenges you face are hard to deal with. You are strong. You get through every day. I believe in you. BF:hug::hug::hug:

You have every right to be angry, Blue, but you can’t indulge those feelings forever, or they will wear on your spirit, and take over your personality :hug::hug::hug:

I agree with Donna in that you may be suffering from intermittent explosive disorder, and I agree with BF that you need help that your current pdoc is not providing you with. Meds cannot cure us, but they can treat our symptoms to make life more manageable, provided that they are the right meds, and we are getting good care (((HUGS)))

I’m so sorry that you do have so much to be angry and sad about. You are such a lovely person with so much to offer. I would love to see you happier. You deserve all good things in life.

Majo

First, maybe your aunt can't get her visa as soon as you want
to go to Las Vegas this time. But have her get it anyway.

That way she has it when you want to go again. Think for the
future. You need to help her plan. She may not know these
things.

Donna

:hug::grouphug:

Hi Blue!

It's been quite a while since we've heard from you.
Please check in when you can... you are missed!!!

I hope you are doing okay (((HUGS)))

Blue. How are you doing? I haven't heard from you in a while. Are you doing okay? If not, we are all here struggling together. Please come back. BF:hug::hug::hug:

Thinking of you blue!
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Thank you my dear friends,
I have been in a deep dark hole and while I do appreciate your empathy, support and love so much, some days I feel like I should not "pollute" you with my negativity, my problems.... you know, days are gray for me all the time...

I swear I keep trying to look the bright side of things but, it doesnt work.... Im surrounded by people that keep making me feel irritated and stressed but I need to work, I need the money so, here I am.... trying to cope the lack of compassion of this people.... I dont know why cant they simply leave me alone.

Today specially Im having a hard time trying not to cry in front of this people.... Everything makes me teary.... my heart and soul literally aches and I just wanna quit from everything....

I am sorry blue that you are struggling.
thank you for coming and sharing.
never forget we are here for you.
((((((HUGS)))))
bizi