Blue (((Hugs))) (((Hugs))) (Hugs))):hug::hug::hug: You have been through so much. :hug::hug::hug:

Thank you Mari....

Your relation with your mom sounds like mine with my dad....

Im tired of life.

You must carry on. I know life is a struggle for you right now. You have more strength in you then you could possibly know. (((Gentle Hugs))) Hug Hug Hug:hug::hug::hug:

Blue
You have to realize you can talk to her daily. And she can see you
daily. She can meet your friends, and boyfriends. She will let
you know somehow if she likes them or not. I'm pretty sure my
mom lets me know every once in a while that she likes what I'm
doing or not. I think its kind of why I've been getting more
cases lately. She is letting me know that I'm doing a good job.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

My mum passed away from lung cancer that metastasized to her brain. I took care of her (and my little brother) before and after school, and on weekends. Before that, we were close, but not close. She was a wonderful woman, but not a good mother. We grew very close while I was taking care of her though.

I was able to ask her difficult questions, and to get closure before she passed away, which I'm sure made things easier on me than you... but when she was gone, the hospital bed was no longer in the living room, and I actually had free time, I was in shock.

My mother was a teacher at my high school, so during my senior year (she passed away the summer before), there were reminders of her everywhere, and the other teachers may have thought they were being helpful by talking about her to me all the time, but they weren't. I'm BPI, but I was deeply depressed most of the time, and started drinking a lot, which obviously numbs things, and that became a problem for me, especially as I accumulated more unrelated problems.

I never stopped thinking of her, but he thoughts became less frequent, and they slowly and silently changed. Over time, I started to think more about happy things/memories and could smile and laugh more about them. I think that's the stage of grief known as acceptance. I would say that it took me a couple of years to get to that point.

I can totally understand how you may feel about your mother not being with you when you reach those major milestones in life like getting married and having children, since I was so young when my mother passed away. She did not get to see me graduate from high school...
I know it can be a scary proposition to think about the future, and going forward with things like, that without your mother's presence and support, but it sounds like she was a great lady, and I'm sure she would want those things for you. You are still young (you're 2 yrs younger than me) :hug::hug::hug:

I can feel your pain when I read your posts. I wish I could take that pain away from you. I know that you will start healing, tho it may be slow. Please try to be open to it, however hard that is (((((HUGS)))))

Kay you write so well and from the heart.
bless you for that.
(((((HUGS)))))
to you both.
bizi

Blue Are you okay? I haven't heard from you in a couple of days. I'm so sorry for your grief, and pain. You have depression on top of all of that. I'm so sorry. BF:hug::hug::hug:

She posted yesterday at 2pm on bobbys thread.
She will post when she is up to it, I am sure.
You are a good man friend!
(((((HUGS))))))
bizi

Thank you bizi. BF:hug::hug::hug:

Blue,


Thinking of you and wishing you well.





M