can you start drinking grape juice? also my friend who is an alcoholic and probably got her throat cancer from all the drinking and smoking and had a fifty fifty chance of survival orders non alcoholic beer. She said it is good.
It is such a battle.
love
bobby

one of these days I will have enough will power to diet.
bizi

I think I got some sleep last night so that is good.
Hubby only drinks a couple of drinks. Vacations are different.
We drink a lot at the beach.
I am getting on the scale today...
facing the facts.
189
not as bad as I thought.
bizi
I see carol tonight....we are going to a concert this friday night, a wood stock tribute. It is the 50th year anniversary. Should be fun.

Bizi

I think that is good. I know you want it lower. I personally wish
I could get to that.

Ugh, I can't seem to lose anymore.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

my appetite has been totally out of control. I won't look at the scale!

I slept well the past 2 nights, only drinking 2 beers. Hoping that I continue to sleep well...I see dr. orazio next week....not looking forward to that. She thinks I need to go into treatment for alcohol addiction.
sigh



Just got back from dinner with my girl friend melissa. On Friday, She is leaving for a 100mile walk/pilgrimage thru portugal and spain....by her self!
I told her she was very brave.


I wear ear plugs at night now and they make my ears itch and my right ear is sore. This way I don't hear Jeff breath/snore.


I pulled my back a few days ago....still hurts but I think it is a bit better today.
bizi

great about your sleeping. Sorry about your back and ear. I can't believe walking 100 miles by yourself! How old is she?

I think she is 55.
bizi
I hope you have a nice night.
(((((HUGS)))))

Thanks. I hope you had a nice one too.
love
bobby

I slept well again last night. :)

Another good nights sleep. I finally drank about 64 oz of water, 12 oz of pop, 2 cups of coffee,and I drink 2 cups with meds at night.
hope you have a nice day.
bizi

that is so great! I wonder why you finally have been having great sleep. I have to start drinking more water. I am really impressed.
love
bobby

I'm glad you are getting good sleep. I hope you can continue to
drink the water. I've been drinking lots of water too. Some days
more than others.

I'm impressed with your friend and the walk she has planned.
I wouldn't try that even if I thought I could.

Heehee :grouphug::hug:

I know that I was drinking heavier and it was interrupting my sleep. Also know that none of these sleep issues happened until she discontinued my klonipin.
I was sleeping fine.


sigh


It makes me angry thinking about it....Did I tell you that I found an on line distributor where I can purchase klonipin. It is expensive $160 for 30 of 2mg pills. Since I only need .5mg I could cut them into quarters (which would be sort of hard to do) thus making them much more affordable.

For now I am not ordering them, but if I get desperate I will reconsider.


I need to do billing and paperwork/charting. I have been procrastinating for too long. Not good!


have a good evening!
bizi

Bizi

Do you have the option of using the girl you use sometimes to help you.

If so maybe call and ask her. If not find someone else that can come
help. Maybe start scheduling someone say monthly to come help you.

I hope you can get this under control.

Maybe if you can get the drinking under control, she will let you have
some more.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

i would order the klonopin just so you wouldn't have it hanging over you head.
that would take care of so many days

I think 2 is the magic number.
My AA sponsor is letting me go....
Although we are going to a concert tomorrow night: woodstock 50th anniversary concert.
Carol is 20 years my senior so this is her music.
Should be fun.
I will be sad to lose her support.
bizi

can you find another sponsor? does your insurance cover therapy. Maybe you need somebody in person who will supply you with a lot of support and nurturing. I don't know if Jeff gives it to you.
Love
bobby

Me and the wifey are getting ready to leave for Atlanta for 3 days for our 1 year anniversary. :)https://scontent-atl3-1.xx.fbcdn.net...e6&oe=5DCCCD98

very nice. congratulations
bobby

congratulations prime! nice photo.
bizi

hi bobby, My insurance has a large deductible and my therapist costs $98 an hour. I really like her. Have not seen her in a long time.


I slept great again last night!
Think I have finally figured out how to easily put the ear plugs in.


weight down a pound 187.7.
Getting my hair colored this morning then 3 clients this afternoon then concert. The reason Carol is releasing me as my sponsor is because I am actively drinking...and not trying to stop.

So AA does not fit into my life.
bizi

i don't understand about the large deductible. you mean that you have to pay more than the 98 at first? If you really like her I think it would be so wonderful if you could see her once a month.
love
bobby

I have a $4,000 deductible that I have to pay before insurance pays any. So I would have to pay$98 per visit. If I met the deductible then I would only have to pay 20% which would be $20. but I never meet the deductible.


The concert was fun....music from the woodstock era. Carol really enjoyed it.

Had popeyes chicken, which was so so.


I work tomorrow, just seeing 2 clients. Will have time to have lunch with jeff in between them. And are going to our friends for a dinner party tomorrow night. Should be fun.


I should sleep as I am tired and did not have any alcohol today.
bizi

thank you. So great that you didn't drink and that you enjoyed the concert.
I hope you have fun tonite.,
love
bobby

I think putting a limit on what I drink is the answer to sleeping well. I limited it to 2 drinks and slept great.
So am happy about that.
bizi
We have a dinner party to go to tonight.
Should be fun.
bizi

that is so great about the sleep and even better that you can control your drinking right now and only having two drinks. fantastic
love
bobby

Thank you bobby.
love bizi

thank you!
 

love to you!
bobby

Did I tell you that it is our 23rd wedding anniversary.:D

you mentioned it but it is so wonderful it is definitely worth repeating!
happy anniversary
love
bobby

Thank you bobby.
love bizi

Carol said that she would continue to
meet together as friends....and not be my "sponsor" in AA since I am still drinking.
We will see how it goes this tuesday at 8pm.
Off to the party.
bizi

that is really nice. special!
love
bobby

I hope you sleep well tonight.
love bizi

I hope you had a wonderful time. I listened to Josh Groban all night. I am still listening. Finally I didn't over eat. I had applesauce and spinach. I will have more spinach today. I hope I am going to shrink my stomach. Yesterday I spent so much time looking up what foods were safe without being organic. One article said if you wash the food thoroughly you can get off most of the pesticides. There are lists on the net for which foods you don't have to buy organic. Then I listened to an ad by vet Marty Goldstein and that you should feed cats primarily raw meat,omega 3s, taurine etc.He now sells dry raw meat cat food that you almost have to be a millionaire to afford. The only good news was that the low calorie treats I give Abby are bonita flakes and they have taurine and omega 3s . All I have to say is fishy treats and Abby comes running. Pudge isn't interested. I get them on Amazon. I give the kitties prescription food and Goldstein would gag at the first ingredient corn. He said whoever saw a cat in the wild eat corn! They shouldn't eat that or fillers or preservatives.
I looked on amazon for freeze dried raw meat for cats and they also were very expensive. He said he has had cats live to 19 and in their twenties on his diet.
I see the cardiologist tomorrow and will get my first injection for the cholesterol medication and they also have my carotid arteries checked. I guess she will show me how to inject myself. I know I should be greatful that I am getting the medicine for 20 dollars for three months when that would cost 3600 dollars.
I don't know how high your cholesterol is but if they had tested my arteries before the stroke I wouldn't have had one.
I guess I must be a bit manic and I am depressed but I learned a lot yesterday and did have a fine time with Stella.
love
talkative bobby

Good morning bobby!
It is nice to be able to chat like this.
Glad that you like Josh Groban and enjoy music in general, feeds your soul. I listen to allison kraus...actually not sure how to spell her name. She has the prettiest voice. She also sings with a blue grass band called union station.


The party was fun, 8 of us. Good food and conversation.
Sleep was just fair because I drank too much.
That is ok.
Will go back to 2 today.


I am a bad wife...I did not even get a card for my wedding anniversary that we celebrated today. 23 years!

sigh
We are going out for dinner tonight at a restaurant called Drago's. They have lobster and char broiled oysters. We have not been in a couple of years since when they first opened.
Thank you for reading and have a great sunday!
love bizi

I love lobster and haven't had it in years. That is fine that you didn't buy him a card. You give yourself which is great. I belong to amazon music so I will try to find her. It was your anniversary so it was okay to celebrate.
met stella for an hour today. all we talked about was healthy food etc. Yesterday I got afraid of pesticides.
love
bobby

Bizi

I hope you had a great anniversary. I haven't been on as much
don't have as much time these days. Am also very tired with all
the work and things.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

Thank you donna for stopping by, always good to hear from you. sorry you are tired...are you sleeping ok?
(((((HUGS))))))
bizi


I ended up going to the store and getting a nice anniversary card and a bottle of tanguira gin which he loves, while he was out doing errands.
He liked the card....and of course the gin.


I finished billing so that is good did some other paperwork but did not chart. So I have that hanging over me tomorrow.


WE will go out to dinner in about half an hour.
It will take me that long to find something to wear.


bizi