yah, keep up the good work.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

I'm having real D consistently, so I think I'm in the clear for now. I expect to have nothing but D from now on because everything I ate up until the pizza was low-residue, and I was never really able to control the D after the surgery in November anyway- no matter what I ate. So, hopefully I won't have any problems...

I had some chicken and a little bit of stuffing with gravy last night, and it didn't bother me. I weighed 136lbs this morning.

I woke up late this morning again, but I'm feeling much better. Whatever was going on seems to have run its course.
I'm still lost in my thoughts and am losing time because I'm in my own world right now. I would not say I'm agitated, maybe more irritable? IDK. I'm not as good at judging these things since they took me off my meds. I was on 200mg of Lamictal twice a day, and I just went up to 150mg once a day. That probably has a lot to do with it.

I managed to clean the bathroom yesterday. I had hoped to do some work in the kitchen and do the floors in there, and in the bathroom today, but I'm sure I won't get to that...

I'm going grocery shopping today. I should have gone yesterday, but was not O.K. to drive. I ran out of milk, so I've been drinking my coffee with powdered non-dairy creamer all morning... yuck!!!
I would rather do a quick trip to the grocery store to pick up a few things vs. doing a whole week's load of shopping, but that just doesn't make sense. It's just better to get it over with I guess.

I am so glad you are feeling better! Please still take it easy

I am glad that you are keeping an eye on your mood.

When do you see your pdoc again?
I am so glad that you think your GI tract

is ok now. yay you get to eat some real food!
Did you get to take a nap?
((((HUGS))))
bizi

I've been falling asleep on the couch pretty much every night for the last couple of weeks. I keep the blinds closed, but Rocky lays in front of them, so there's always a big spot open. He keeps watch because of all of the cats in the neighborhood that come by.
Yesterday morning, I found 3 cigarette butts put out on the ledge of the maintenance door, which is deep in the corner of our patio, so someone was out there for quite a while doing something. I would have noticed had someone been out there during the day... was someone watching me sleep?!? :eek::eek::eek:
I'm so freaked out!!! I didn't find anymore cigarette butts this morning, but it absolutely poured out last night, so I doubt anyone would have been outside creeping around. I tried to get to bed last night, but fell asleep on the couch anyway. I have to stop doing that. I will definitely call the police if I find anymore cigarette butts out there because there's no good reason for them to be there. Someone's up to no good.

I felt terrible yesterday, and really shouldn't have been driving, but I had to get to my pdoc appointment. She told me basically what I already knew, that I'm having the psych problems I'm having because I'm under-medicated because of having to restart my usual 400mg dose of Lamictal at 50mg after being off of it for so long in the hospital (I'm at 150mg now). There's nothing that can be done about that, but to wait for the next month + until I get back up to my old dose, and hope I come back around. Some of my other issues are obviously due to stress and anxiety, and she said I should be using my Klonopin more when I can (ie/ when I won't be driving). I'm off, but I'm hanging in there. I see her in a month.

I made my nail appointment with Judy a week too early, so I texted her to ask her if she had anything next week, but all she could come up with was one opening at 2:45 one afternoon that I obviously couldn't take because it's too late in the day. So, I couldn't get an appointment until Tuesday the 18th. Unfortunately, right after this whole exchange, I chipped a nail lol.
Knowing that Judy doesn't have the time to fix it, I just cut it down... way down. I hope that the rest of my nails hold up until my appointment. With my luck, they will not, and I will have to go see someone else. I'll need a pedicure soon too, and don't know when she'll find the time... I'm kinda frustrated.

I realize I did not tell you this, but I had a biopsy of a lymph node in my groin done last month (I've had swollen lymph nodes in a lot of places for almost a year). Nothing malignant turned up for what they could test for, but it needs further investigation, and maybe needs to be taken out. I was told that they review cases before appointments are made, and I'd likely have a long wait, and I was hoping that that would be the case because I'm really not in the mood to deal with it right now. But I just got a call from my PCP's office letting me know that I have an appointment scheduled with hematology/oncology for next Friday (the 14th).

I'm REALLY not happy because I have a colposcopy the day before (on the 13th) because I had an abnormal Pap smear (I realize I didn't tell you that either). It turned up atypical glandular cells. I had been having abnormal bleeding, and went to my GYN. I had blood drawn and found out that I'm perimenopausal at age 38 (sorry I didn't tell you that either). I may have to take progesterone treatment to control my symptoms even though I'm "fixed." My pdoc said taking progesterone is okay.

So there has been a lot going on besides the GI stuff. I just didn't want to muddy the waters with everything else. Who could keep track? I'm such a f'ing mess.

At least I can poop now.

oh rats-sending prayers
love
bobby

Thank you for the update.
You have been going thru so much.

Yes use the klonipin more often...
could you take a half dose before driving?
Will be thinking of you on the 14th.
((((HUGS)))))
bizi

I'm not feeling well. I don't know what it is. I'm just very tired and weak, have been having bad headaches, and I've been short of breath, but I'm not coughing or wheezing (so it's not my asthma). According to my thermometer, I don't have a fever. I think I've had one good day recently. If I'm still feeling like this on Monday, I'll make an appointment with the NP.
I am having a relapse of MS that seems to have started yesterday. It's mainly effecting my whole right arm and hand. It could be why I'm feeling so tired and weak, but would not explain the shortness of breath.
I'm eating regular food (and loving it!), including a s- load of ice cream, but I'm still not gaining weight yet. I weighed 135.6lbs this morning.

I didn't find any cigarette butts outside by the maintenance door this morning. I don't know if it had anything to do with the fact that I left the patio light off last night or not. It doesn't matter. I'm just glad that there were none there. To me, that means there was nobody out there.

I have a ton of appointments coming up. My GYN's office called yesterday to confirm my appointment for the 13th, and I found out that they changed the time of my appointment without notifying me. So, I had to reschedule a couple of appointments so I could fit everything in. I hope all these places make reminder calls because I think I have all the dates right, but I'm unsure of some of the times, and I'm embarrassed to call them all back right now. I also have to put in requests for a bunch of referrals... another PITA because I don't want to dump them all on the secretary all at once.

I have to get to the store to buy more ice cream today :D
Also have to pick up a bunch of prescriptions. I would like to do some cleaning in the kitchen when I get home, but we'll see.

I am so sorry you are not feeling well. It might be less pressure if you do call up the secretaries for the times. Isn't ice cream wonderful. I am going to have two pints. I also ordered cheese. It is called foodkick and delivers the same day.
Ice cream makes my stomach feel better.
love
bobby

I don't care what the secretaries think, I agree with bobby to call to confirm the times.
I am so sorry you are having your arm effected by your ms. Is there a special doctor who follows you with this or just your GP?
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Yesterday while I was sitting outside in the sun, I could see how thick the pollen was in the air. I'm not having classic symptoms, but my allergies are usually pretty bad, so maybe that's what the shortness of breath is from after all? I bought Rhinocort nasal spray because I remember taking it many, many years ago when it was prescription only, and everything else either hasn't worked, or has caused side effects like drowsiness, headaches, etc.
I took it yesterday afternoon. I haven't noticed any shortness of breath yet this morning, but that may be a coincidence. We'll see.
Maybe I have just been feeling shitty otherwise because of the MS relapse? IDK.

I have a neurologist who follows me for my MS. Right now my right arm and hand are just profoundly numb and the the pins and needles sensation is a lot worse than usual. It's weaker, but I still have full function, so I don't consider it a big deal. It's not something I would not take steroids for if I could (I can't because they make me bat s- crazy because I'm BPI). So, there's no need to contact him since we're not going to do anything about it anyway. I'll tell him about it when I see him on the 21st. I know I'm due for another MRI, so he will probably order one, and I get my Tysabri infusion after the appointment with him.

I had 3 prescriptions to pick up yesterday and was surprised to see that they had filled ALL of them for a 3 month supply. I ended up paying a lot more than I thought I would, and I guess they ran out of large pill bottles, because I ended up with 6 of them. The case I keep my pill bottles in is bursting.

Those little s- kids are intent on riding their bikes over a little bump in the pavement and onto our patio, so sometimes the kid upstairs will just stand in front of our slider looking into our apartment trying to see if we are home (we keep our blinds mostly closed but can see outside), so he can try to see if he can get away with it. Other times, he and his friend will just ride their bikes back and forth in front of here repeatedly.
I called the office to ask if we could put plants/flowers outside, and what the guidelines are, and I was happy with the response. I'm going to put out a big pot of something or other out there that will block that spot on the patio so the little s-t's can't ride up onto it anymore :):):)
I hope that will be enough of a deterrent, and we'll have less problems with them after that.

I am happy you don't have SOB today.
Good idea about a plant that is if they don't knock it over. They may disrespect your things too.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

I didn't notice any shortness of breath at all yesterday :)
It may have been a coincidence, but I doubt it. I think it was the Rhinocort that helped. I guess if I get SOB again, I should go get some extra help with my asthma again. I haven't needed to be on a controller med for over a decade.

I've thought about the possibility of the kids f'ing with the plants/flowers. I'm going to save all my receipts to give to the kid's father in case they do any damage. They're not too bright tho, and haven't caught on to the fact that we are, or at least I am, usually home, and can see what they're up to. We'll probably catch them if they do do something. That would probably be the last straw for Corey, and he would want to get the office involved.

I may go buy flowers tomorrow. I'll have to see how I feel.
I have to renew my license soon. I don't know when I will do that. It's probably more important than buying flowers tho.

Despite the Mirilax, and the fact that everything is D, I am constipated. I'm NOT surprised tho. At least I've gained weight. The scale said I weighed 137.5lbs this morning! :eek:
But I'm eating a TON of ice cream!!! :D:D:D

We have to do laundry today, and Corey's on-call, so he'll be an a-hole. Not looking forward to it at all, but we skipped last week because I wasn't feeling well, so we have to go...

And then I'll drop him off at home cuz I have to go out and buy more ice cream lol.

If you are having D then how do you know you are constipated? Can you feel it in you intestine? Are you in pain?
((((HUGS)))))
bizi

I wish I had an answer for those little guys.

Sorry.

donna :hug::grouphug:

I just wanted to check in to say I am okay.

I had a very bed day yesterday, and am running behind this morning.

I will post and read on the forum tomorrow. I hope everyone is doing okay :grouphug:

I am very sorry to hear about your bad day....really hate to hear that.
Post when ever you are up to it....thanks for the check in...we worry when we don't hear from.
love

bizi:hug:

Just checking in is fine.

Reading and posting when you can is all we need.

Love ya.
Donna :hug::grouphug:

Thanks for the check-in, Kay



M

Constipation is infrequent, hard to pass, or hard stool.
When I wrote my last post, I was having bits of D that were hard to pass.

Bizi, to answer your question about if I can feel if I'm constipated, I can- easily. The large intestines kinda hold everything in. When they're removed, the small intestines hang rather loosely, and I don't have much abdominal fat, so I can feel where everything is by gently pressing on my abdomen. I could feel a mass like a mini football in my lower left quadrant. It has happened on and off in that place since I had the surgery.

Monday was terrible. I had tons of diarrhea early in the morning, which is fine. Let's get rid of everything... But then I had 9 HOURS of just terrible unrelenting S*** pains and a strong urgency to use the BR without any results. I have no idea how many times I sat on the toilet. Then I went through a couple of hours of that again yesterday.

That mass in my abdomen is gone, which is a very good thing :)
But I'm not taking the Mirilax for a few days in case it could be contributing to the symptoms I've been having. I have to go out to get grocery shopping done today, and have morning appointments tomorrow and Friday. I hope that I'm making the right decision. I will obviously be keeping a close eye on things.

I've been having pain on my mid-to-lower right side by where the obstruction was since I woke up this morning. So, now I'm going to have to worry about THAT. And I was still having the other issues this morning so I'll be going out to do the shopping late today.

My friend sent me an email, which I replied to. In her reply, she let me know that she had sent 3 emails before that I had never responded to. I NEVER GOT THEM, though I would have been VERY happy to have had, and don't know why. The only reason I can think of is that I may have put an email from that chain in the spam folder instead of the trash by accident, but IDK. Since it was 3 emails, she doesn't believe me. I sent her an email to kinda defend myself and say I was sorry that I never received them and that had worried her. I feel really miserable about the whole situation, but that's about all the energy I can manage to put into the matter. I hope that my word is good enough.

I'm just very overwhelmed....

I do not feel well at all, and it worries me A LOT. And I've been stuck at home because I've been glued to the toilet.
I have a colposcopy tomorrow morning because of the abnormal Pap smear.
And I have an appointment with the hematologist/oncologist on Friday because of the funky results from the biopsy of my lymph node.
All those things I need to do, but have not been able to, are just piling up, making me feel pressured to get them done.

I'm still not 100% on the mental health front, and none of this s*** is helping. I'm doing my best and hanging in there tho.

Kay

Is it possible some of the emails came during the time
you were in the hospital? And its always possible that
they got lost in limbo too. I know that even with my
emails in work emails, that sometimes they do.

And its hard for people to get that till it happens to them.

I hope things go good the next couple days for you.

Donna :grouphug::hug:

sending prayers
love
bobby

I am sorry things keep piling up on you.....
keep hanging in there.

We are rooting for you!
((((HUGS)))))
love,
bizi

These stomach issues are really wearing on me. This is no way to live. I really hope that Dr. Chen can do something to help me when I see her on the 28th because things as they are are unsustainable.
I have an appointment at 10:30 this morning, so I woke up at 6am so that my stomach had some time do what it was going to do before I had to leave home. So far, things are better today tho :)

I made it through the grocery store yesterday. I can't believe how weak I am. I forgot several things, but I will have to improvise, since I have NO plans of going back any time in the near future.

I have the colposcopy and endometrial sampling this morning. I have had it done before. I know I will be really sore and ready for bed afterwards, but I have a couple of errands I have to force myself to do afterwards.
I bought my dear father-in-law a card yesterday (?), but forgot to buy my own father and my husband's stepfather cards. I don't know where my mind is. I will have to get that done today because I have to mail my dad's card, and hop it gets there by Saturday.

I get the impression that my friend does believe me about the emails now, which is a huge relief :)
She sent me an email last night, but I was too stoned to reply at the time (I've been in a lot of pain). I also want to respond to some of the things in the emails I didn't get before. I will have to do that when I get home, since I have to get in the shower now so I don't miss my appointment.

yes we are all rooting for you and so sorry about your pain. We call love you dearly and want the best for you.
love
bobby

Kay

I'm so glad your friend thought about it. And really decided that
it was possible, and decided it was so.

i'm saying prayers today for good results. And hopefully
answers to be good.

Donan :grouphug::hug:

Thank you, ladies :grouphug:

I saw the GYN yesterday (I have not had the colposcopy- YET) and the hematologist/oncologist today. There is a lot to say, but unfortunately, I am too tired to say anything :o

I'm fine tho. Que sera sera.

Thinking of you and sending healing thoughts and calming energy.

Sending you hugs Kay. Hoping you are rested better later.

I really wish you could get a break.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

'Sending good thoughts, Kay.

Thank you all :grouphug:

I was able to get off the toilet long enough to get to my appointments :rolleyes:

I saw my GYN on Thursday. The NP had done my Pap, and the GYN was upset that she had just sent me out a letter with my results and had the colposcopy scheduled in the office without consulting her.
She thinks that atypical glandular cells that turned up are likely related to all the abnormal bleeding I've been having, but everything needs to be investigated, and I am going to have a colposcopy, hysteroscopy, and D&C under light sedation on July 19th... unless the hemotologist/oncologist turns up something that makes having that done a bad idea.

I met with the hematologist/oncologist yesterday. What a nice doctor! It is very depressing (and takes a long time) to have to go through my entire medical history with a new provider. It was very clear that he felt terrible for me. I don't know how many times he said he was sorry.
Of course he doesn't know what's going on yet. He seemed very concerned about my past iron levels tho (I didn't realize that they were that low and don't know why the NP never told me to take some). I may have to have some IV, depending on how they come back this time. They took 5 tubes of blood from me. I'm going to have CAT scans of my neck, chest, abdomen, and pelvis on July 1st to look at my lymph nodes. He thinks that the largest one they find should be removed for further investigation because he thinks that's the only way we'll find out what's going on. I just hope that the largest one is in a superficial area... He'll call me to discuss any hinky findings and to let me know if I need to have the IV iron or not. I have another appointment with him in 6 weeks.

I've definitely been happier...
But I figure I'll just get this s*** over with so I can figure out what's going on. Most times, the answers are better than the unknown.

again sending huge prayers. What a trooper you are
Love
bobby

Kay,

I have a really good friend that has had to have the IV blood.

And I know that she feels lots better after she has gotten it.
In her case the pills aren't something she can take they make
her very sick. So I'm hoping that if he started you on the pills that
they help. I'm also going to guess this is part if not most of the
reason you have been so tired. I can tell when I've forgotten
to take my Iron, because of the tiredness I get .

I sure hope you finally get some breaks.

Donna :grouphug:

Kay,

It's good that you had a productive visit with the hematologist/oncologist and

that you can look forward to his helping you.




M

Thank you for your support, ladies :grouphug:

IF I do need the iron if would be given by IV because of my intestinal problems.

That makes sense about the IV.

I'm glad you have confidence in your doctors.



M

I have been very fortunate in that all my specialists are the best of the best in the area, and I do have a lot of confidence in them. I have seen enough doctors to know very quickly whether or not they know what they are talking about/doing.
I've had trouble getting access to my PCP since my old one retired 2 years ago (?), and had only been seeing his NP for sick visits until I was discharged from the hospital, and got to see him for the follow-up visit. He wants to follow me more closely now, and I have an appointment scheduled with him in August.
All of my doctors also have excellent bedside manners. I got very lucky there, especially considering how many f'ing doctors I have, and how many doctors out there are A-Holes.
My pdoc is amazing. I would find a way to pay out of pocket to see her if for some reason she stopped taking my insurance. She is irreplaceable.

Yesterday was a LONG day. I was out for almost 7 hours!!! :eek:

We took my father-in-law out for breakfast at his favorite place, which is about 40 minutes away from us. He always brings his friend, Carolyn (about 60yo), who Corey and his sister don't like, but I usually do in small amounts. Well, she blew it, and said something beyond stupid and insensitive to me about having/not having babies (after I endured her talking about babies all f'ing day), and she's lucky I didn't smack her in the mouth, or flip out on her. I didn't because it was my FIL's day. I'd be happy to see my FIL again any time while he's up here from Florida, but not if he intends to bring her with him, as he usually does.

Then we went to see my husband's stepfather, and I got stuck there for hours. Apparently he wanted to do a cookout, but there was no mention of it for hours. I had to stay because Corey and I came in one car, and he was drinking. They wonder why I seldom go over there... I can't stay for so long. And I shouldn't be driving when I'm THAT F'ING TIRED. It was good that I got to spend some quality time with my MIL though. She is very unhappy. Her husband is an A-Hole. Corey said that they fight all the time now, but this was the first time I witnessed it first hand. Honestly, I was kinda happy to finally see her sticking up for herself.

I passed out very early for me lately... maybe I made it to 9? IDK.

I have a TON of s- to do. I'm going to try to work out how I'm going to get it all done this week, but right now it's all overwhelming. I'm just going to have to make some lists I guess, and hope that works.

Even though you had to stay out way to late. I'm glad you got
to spend some time with your MIL. I'm guessing it was nice
for her too.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

I guess it was, Donna. She sent me a text a little while after we got home telling me so. We should probably spend more time together when I'm feeling a little better. It would be good for both of us.

I decided that the #1 thing I needed to do yesterday was put down some carpet powder and vacuum because the rug was a mess and our living room smelled like cat farts (it already smells like cat farts again). Then I did some dishes and did some cleaning in the kitchen before going to CVS to pick up some staples: coffee and ice cream.

Today I got to see Judy and I got my nails done. So, that was a nice start to the day :)

I had to go buy some MMJ today, as I'm almost completely out. I had a hard time deciding which dispensary to go to because neither of them had a lot that was really appealing to me. I ended up going to the PITA local place that I usually go to. There was only one strain that I've tried before, the other two are hail Mary's. I hope that they work out.

I'm already ready for a nap, but I will try to do some reading on the forum.

Kay

I think the text probably showed how much the visit meant to
here. I'm guessing she really needed to spend some time
with someone that would spend time with just her.

And you really did something special doing that for her.

I know how hard the time you guys spent there with them
was for you.

Donna :hug::grouphug: