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Old 06-13-2019, 09:59 AM   #1
Rain shower
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Hello friends. I feel like I know you all as I have so much in common with you. I suffer from treatment resistant depression and have experienced alcohol abuse. I am alcohol free basically for the past 4 years. No 12 step program per say but I have used many different strategies over the years to decrease alcohol consumption, as I self medicated for years. Now it has very little appeal, as it was basically killing me.

I have a chronic pain disease (approx 20 years) which has left me "disabled" (unable to work outside my home) since 2015, as a result of work related accident, that caused my preexisting disease to become full blown CRPS. Rare neur disease with severe nerve pain in affected areas.

I have a nursing back ground. Never actually completed my RN degree however worked in hospitals, mental health and clinical research for nearly 40 years.

I know how hard life can be and like to think I have survived for 60 odd years, should be able to keep on trucking till my time comes naturally.

Kay. My goodness you are one strong bullsey gal, if you don't mind me saying. You give me strength to carry on.

Thank you all for sharing. Got me through many difficult times.
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Old 06-13-2019, 10:15 AM   #2
bizi
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Welcome!!!
Thank you for sharing and welcome to our little circle of friends.
I am very happy to see you here.


Let me say I am so sorry you suffer with crps....such a terrible disease.


WE do have similar back grounds....I have been sober 12 days.

Am proud of that.
Now if I could get this food, internet addiction in control I would be happier.
Am on a diet so have lost some weight have a lot to lose, I gain 50 pounds in 4 years from drinking fattening craft beers. sigh
Am trying, have lost some water weight so that is fun to see.
I imagine this will take me a year to get off. I am just trying to eat as healthy as possible and no snacking after dinner. And I skip breakfast.


Anyway, welcome again.
May you have as pain free a day as you can have.
(((((HUGS)))))
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Happiness is a decision....
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Old 06-13-2019, 10:29 AM   #3
Dmom3005
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Welcome,

As you probably notice I have grown children with disabilities.
Work in the disability world. And have some myself.

I'm just here because these folks are the closest I have to an
support group. We are always happy to see new folks and
are happy you are here.

Donna
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Old 06-13-2019, 01:23 PM   #4
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Thank you for joining our forum. It is such a great support group and offers so much relief. I am so glad you joined and I hope you will allow yourself to get our support.
bobby
ps I have had awful depression most of my life but my doctor a few months ago tried aplenzin and most of the time it has worked for me
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Old 06-13-2019, 03:22 PM   #5
Rain shower
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Thank you for the warm welcome.

I will definitely look into the med you mentioned Bobby.

I admire your advocacy and support you give so freely DMom.

I try to remind myself that I am the master of my unique journey and what i consume. It was a hard concept at first. I try not to make it more complicated than that. I tend to over think stuff.

I have to go grocery shopping today and keep making excuses why I don't have to go. I just wasted precious energy. I try to cook dinner most nights, as hubby and I don't need extra calories or expense. I am a junk food junky if I let myself. Ice cream tops the list!
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Old 06-13-2019, 04:35 PM   #6
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ice cream tops my list too. I am afraid to get on the scale and I hope I can now control myself so no more ice cream for a while.
bobby
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Old 06-13-2019, 10:38 PM   #7
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I am glad to hear that you have a hubby.

Ask him to help you do chores....maybe he does?
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Happiness is a decision....
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Old 06-14-2019, 12:10 PM   #8
Rain shower
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Happy Friday All - I hope you are all doing well.

I have acupuncture for my CRPS (complex regional pain syndrome) every 3 to 4 weeks, as needed, and had this past Wednesday. I am having a flare as a result, which sometimes happens, no rhyme or reason.
I slept poorly and have had a slow start to my day.

ate so much ice cream yesterday I have to skip it today.

My husband does a lot around the house and yard. I have to push myself, as I tend to be more sendentary due to chronic pain and depression. I have a daily/weekly "to do" chore list I hold myself accountable for. There are times I can not keep up.

Life sometimes sucks. In the fist half of my life I was a care giver and saw all kinds of human suffering. I gave of myself without abandon. No worry about running out of strength to carry on. Now I am the one "suffering" and this is a hard shift.

Thanks for being here.
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Old 06-14-2019, 01:12 PM   #9
mymorgy
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I am so sorry. I was a caretaker too. I am so sorry for you pain and depression.
bobby
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Old 06-14-2019, 02:58 PM   #10
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Welcome to the forum, Rain Shower!

Thank you for the compliment, but I think that we all have to play the hand that we are dealt. I think having a hard life early on, and on, and on, has given me the strength to deal with all this s***.

We have A LOT in common.
I took care of family members. Then I was a home health aid, worked in hospice, and was a CNA in several hospitals, although my career was not nearly as long as yours. I almost finished nursing school before MS cut that short, too.

Being a nurse becomes part of your identity, so when you can no longer practice, it is exceedingly hard (((HUGS)))
I try to tell myself that that was God's way of telling me that I've taken care of enough people, and now it's time to take care of myself, which is difficult... a "hard shift," as you said

I quit drinking cold turkey because it was killing me, too. It will be 4 years July 20th. I went to some AA meetings, mainly while I was inpatient for an episode of agitated mania, but found that I was better off handling things on my own. I will never have a drink again.

I'm so sorry to hear that you suffer from CPRS. I know that that can cause intractable pain and present a lot of challenges to daily life. I applaud you for trying to stay active and trying to keep up with your list of chores. Between your depression and CPRS, it's totally understandable that there are times that you can't keep up, and have slow starts some days (((HUGS)))
I think that the important thing is that you are trying, and not giving in to the pain- emotional and physical
I'm glad that your husband helps you a lot. I wish mine would.

I'm sorry that you had a bad reaction to your last acupuncture session... something meant to provide you with relief
But it seems like you have a good way of looking at that, realizing that sometimes the results vary for unknown reasons.

I'm actually Bipolar I, so my bouts of depression are uncommon, but I do have mixed episodes with depressive features. When I do have episodes of depression, they are not as severe or as difficult to treat as they are for people who have Bipolar II disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, or treatment-resistant depression.
I'm so sorry that you, and others, suffer so much from such terrible depression. I really can't say that I know how you feel because I don't, but I'm here to listen (((HUGS)))

I love my ice cream, too! I eat a pint every night! I don't think that there's anything that I enjoy more in life right now.

I'm looking forward to getting to know you better! Welcome again,
Kay
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