I can't remember, mari, did you try the CBD?
I am thinking about it for sleep.
bizi

Yes, it somewhat helps -- not necessarily with sleep but for my feelings
associated with sleep.


I have the small gummies now and I take one maybe most days near bed
time but I worry because there was talk that our boss planned to
drug test us -- some CBD products have traces of THC that show up in a test so I tried to use it sparingly.


=-=


My mood was a mess yesterday. I was scared at that level of depression,
but that mood eventually moved out and I was back to my
normal depression.



M

I am so sorry that your depression worsened but glad it go better. What thought do you have when you are suffering so. Are you depressed when you have it in the school room?
Fondly
bobby

Hi, Bobby,


I'm not exactly depressed during class, but I can lose my thought and
get off track in a second.

I am trying to kind of over prepare at the same time
that I make the work for them as easy as possible for me.
(But I find I am not often prepared enough.)


We are used to each other (mostly) so we are kind of in a groove
where we have a degree of trust and some habits of familiarity.


M

for the most part that sounds really good

Hi .I'm o.k.

I'm grateful that I only have to be at work three days a week.
Even so, the depression makes every decision and every step an act of will.

Before I go to bed at night, I write notes to myself to remind me to
1 ) leave the house on time.
2) double-check that I have my cellphone packed with my stuff.

I talk to God a lot.

The road under construction the last two years is getting less
bad but I am careful
-> for myself and for the other drivers.
-> for new chaos that shows up each day whether going in or coming home.



M

I am so glad you talk to God. I am so sorry you are having such a horrendus(sp) time.
fondly
bobby

Hi Mari!

I have yet to visit your page. It's so interesting to see how others post and journal here (though now I'm feeling really self conscious about my post this morning on mine...on the other hand, if it's overwhelming, I understand folks skipping over it or skimming it or whatever. Like I say in there, just getting thoughts down. I struggle writing without an audience for some reason. Hmm)

Anyway, sorry you're struggling. Seems like it's been going on for awhile now,...or have you had some ups in between? (I didn't read all the pages) I also want to note that I'm sorry you don't like cilantro. (Lol Yes I read that part). Sorry particularly because your hubby does. My hubby introduced it to me too, but lucky for me I love it! It's so weird that people either love it or hate it. I mean, weird how something could taste so different. Hmm Anyway, sorry about that.

I want to leave something positive on your page now...
(That's the best I've got right now. Hope you feel better soon!)

Regarding cilantro:

An old friend on facebook taught me that the response to Cilantro can be genetic.


Google this: "cilantro genetic aversion"
For some of us it smells like an unpleasant wax and tastes like soap.


M

I learned today that even though the CBD helps with anxiety, it might be making the depression worse.
I was scared when I woke up and got ready for work.
Things were bad and I'm crying as a write this.



We have eight or nine weeks left and then I quit work.
The only reason I have not quit yet is that Hubby and I are working
on putting me on his medical plan.



M