Blue

I have to say I'm personally glad that she didn't try taking you.

I'd be afraid you wouldn't be with us anymore. And I value your
friendship to much to want that. I think your right something is
going on.

I haven't been out of my house much, but I personally know why.
Its called this cold still has a good hold and if I don't have to go
I'm not going to.

Donna

Hi bizi ~ Cute nick *smiles* !! Love the picture of your harriet, so why the heavy sigh?

Yes, that was hair-raising sitting beside the side of the super-highway, literally in fear of my life and we were parked on a bridge that was over a large body of water. If anyone hit us from behind or the side, I would have gone right over with that transit.

I am not holding out hope with my pdoc tomorrow. I think he has pretty well given up on me. I just want my monthly prescription of Klonopin and call it a day.

Nice meeting you !!

Blue

Hi Donna ~ Thank you for your reply *smiles* !! Yes, Route 95 traveling in soo many different directions, 4-5 lanes wide with speeding trucks was frightening. I found out on the ride home tonight that everything that happens inside and outside the truck is video taped and tape recordered.

But sitting there gave me an even greater appreciation of just how dangerous for my neighbor and myself to travel over to get to court. It's 40 miles on a super highway and with her mobility issues, it may have ended in a disaster. And she insisted that the only way there was to drive the super-highways, not the back roads, I couldn't talk her out of that until I put my foot down and told her the way it was to be. I think then she may have gotten mad at me because I refused to do it her way, which has happened many times in the past, so this is not new news with us.

Then to come home and find her car parked in the parking lot, finalized things with me between us, she lied. So, there are issues I do not understand and am not privy to about her, nor do I want to get involved with her anymore.

I am proud to announce that I managed anxiety, panic and agoraphobia with finesse. I had no trouble what so ever. I took extra Klonopin and that kept things in check with me, so when I ask for my next prescription of Klonopin, I'm raising the dosing.

Now, going to find a way to calm down after today and yesterday's news.

Take care,

Blue

Oh, Donna, I forgot to ask you what is going on with your health? Do you have a simple cold or is it something else? You said you have not been out of your home for a few days, is that why?

And thank YOU for your very kind words, it's soo nice to feel appreciated (( Hugs ))

Blue

I have been out to get a coke or go to dollar general. I had a vehicle till tonight that had no air. Its now in the shop and the one that just came out.
Has air. So I might venture out in the 100 almost degree soon.

I have asthma, and a shortness of breath type problem that no one
has ever been able to figure out for years. But it just keeps me going.

RIght now I'm guessing the cold is just a cold not sure.

I got lots of sleep last night, and took a nap this afternoon. Which is
the first day I really slept. So it was good.

I will be doing even better soon. I had a computer problem with my program
for my job, but I finally reloaded the program tonight. And that is good too now. Yah, I'm on the way to another year I think.

I always get calls in the summer, I've got 4 new clients so far. And a few returning, that I already have appointments for. So we will see.

I'm trying to get better so I don't give Derrick my cold.

Donna

BlueMoon,

Thanks for the update.

'Good to hear that you succeeded in your task and that you got home safely.


When I completely something like that I congratulate myself (part of my self-talk that sometimes helps. )


M

Good morning Mari *smiles* ~ I came home and devoured the rest of the Rocky Road Ice Cream, lol. I never thought of doing more for myself, but you are correct in that this was hugh and I need to do something in celebration, since I have no one who will celebrate with me.

Today, totally exhausted from the experience of yesterday, just need to process this. Next week traveling to see thru my community services board that will help set me up with a therapist. It's not ideal, as I have to go and stay there for a whole day and wait until I see someone for an assessment.

Wanted to go over my psych history with this new psych doc. Going to see him today and will be going over these points:
1. I have cooperated with every test you recommended immediately.

2. I had the blood test which proved I have almost no Vit. D which you announced can cause a worsening of depression. Yet you refused to recommend I take anything because it is a fat soluble vitamin and can cause harm, so you advised me not to take any vitamin D.

3. I had the GenOMind gene study done and the next time I met with you, you would not go over the report and explain it to me.

4. You asked me what I want improvement with and I told you mood/depression/anxiety and panic. You handed me the only "clean" drug you could decide upon which was Rexulti.

5. I informed you that Rexulti is a Tier IV ($700.00 a month thru my insurance plan), but you insisted to keep me taking your samples anyway but only handed me 7 pills.

6. When I asked about repeating previous drugs that failed, you told me Lithium will burn out my kidneys and I would go on dialysis very shortly. Zyprexa which I was on a year but had some side effects, you said no because I gained to much weight on this.

7. You indicated there are no drugs you will put me on other than the newer ones on the market now. I informed you that I cannot afford Tier IV and Tier V but it fell on deaf ears.

So, I will sit there and guess he will dismiss me as a patient. This is what I have to look forward to this morning. I am out of options and he seems too.

Blue

that is so awful. I am really sorry.
bobby

That doc is an ***.
Is this the same one that helped cause the mania because
the medicine was "pure"?

Can you find another doctor?

The fact that he only prescrbes name brand drugs indicates
that he has flawed prescription practices.
We use to call that "sketchy."

Contact the pharmacy. Apparently, they can give you generic
meds instead of the expensive ones.




+++++++++
How close are you to a major teaching hospital?
For years, I was willing to drive a good distance
because the pdoc saved my life and for a long
time continued to be completely wonderful.


M

Blue, I just want to congratulate you for making it through your bankruptcy hearing with flying colors despite all the bumps in the road. You should be very proud of yourself! I'm glad that you rewarded yourself with that Rocky Road ice cream!

I would avoid your neighbor like the plague. Her decision not to take you to your hearing, and how she did it, showed her true colors, and really was a blessing in disguise. You have enough to worry about without her baggage dragging you down. It sounds like she is TOXIC and may also be dangerous.

Do you have more than one pet? I'm so sorry about your kitty's medical problems. By her behavior, she sounds almost feral. I'm sorry that because of what happened to her, she can't return your love (((HUGS)))

I know that some providers aren't listed when I search for one on my Medicare Advantage Plan because at the time the the list was made, usually at the end of the previous year, they were not accepting new patients. Sometimes that does change during the year tho. Sometimes it's worth a shot to call practices with more than one practitioner to see if anyone who takes your insurance is accepting new patients again because new ones may have joined them during the year, or other patients may have moved on so there are openings now. Around here, it is very common to wait months to get in to see a psych doctor, and it usually isn't a psychiatrist... most of the prescribers are NPs. I would make some phone calls because this new pdoc sounds like a jack***.

Yes, Vit. D is a fat soluble vitamin. But if he drew your level once, he could easily draw it again to make sure you are not over-supplementing, which would take months. If you have a medical doctor, he/she could monitor this for you, or you could just start the supplements, and insist your pdoc order more blood tests. You can't keep your Vit. D level in the basement now that you know that's where it's at.

As far as lithium goes, it is generally a safe medication, as long as your levels are being drawn regularly, you are being monitored for sx of toxicity and side effects, and your dose is being adjusted as needed. By refusing even a trial on lithium, your new pdoc is admitting that he doesn't trust himself to do that. It is a widely used drug that is effective for many people, and is associated with a low incidence of suicidality.
That being said, long story short, both my pdoc and PCP dropped the ball, and although I was aware that my levels were too high and I protested (I was full-blown manic most of this time), I now have CKD stage III (I have a condition called medullary nephocalcinosis), and the most likely cause is the lithium. But I stand by what I said above.

One option in lieu of taking one of the newer meds, is to piggyback more than one in a combination that you have not tried before. There must be a couple of meds that you have not had side effects from, and maybe one or two that you have had a little success with, but not enough? It could be a combination of an antidepressant and a mood stabilizer, or two ADs or MSs. I have exhausted almost all my options too, including most of the new meds. I can't take some of them because I can't take antidepressants because I'm Type I, so I know how it feels to be stuck in this spot, and also to risk (and to actually be in) the Medicare donut hole.
I don't know how this jack*** would feel about this approach though...

I hope he will be willing to give you more Klonopn. 1/2mg 2X day does not seem like enough for someone with Agoraphobia, and the amount of anxiety you are describing, to me

I am hoping for the best for you at the appointment with this new pdoc. I hope that he can come up with something that will turn out to be effective and affordable for you. If all the fanfare for him is justified, he should be capable of that (((HUGS)))