have you thought of doing volunteer work so you won't be isolated? A lot of people are bipolar but just don't know it.

Thank you for the suggestion Before my bankruptcy I had no money for transportation, but now am considering options to get myself away from this sorority I live at.

Definitely need new interests.

And lesson learned, the next time a neighbor calls upon me for help with anything at all, I won't be available.

Blue

I see that we are both close in age, thank you for sharing this and your wisdom with me as well. This is all very helpful, seeking a higher power, I keep forgetting about this aspect of life.

Yes, having kitty's can be soo helpful, they are full of unconditional love which I find missing in humans. All but my kitty who has this neurological syndrome and he barely will let me touch him. I will have to make decisions about him soon, which is very sad to think about. His condition keeps me very sad and depressed most days. The neighbors here think I am terrible for thinking about euthanasia, same with my vet who keeps encouraging me to spend more money.

I am unable to read much due to Nystagmous of my eyes (they won't stay long on a single written line before they jerk to the Meniere's ear. I do listen to book tapes and belong to a book club that meets once a month, which is fun.

Have recently been listening to a music channel on my Kindle Fire and I play mouse games with my cat and he loves watching the mice race across the pages, lol.

I understand about sleep. My energy always goes way up in the evenings and I become hyperventilate due to childhood trauma. So, sleep usually evades me and I defeat all sleep medicines too. I have been awoken alot lately to what looks like a flashlight shinning in my bedroom window. I live on the ground floor, but have blackout curtains. I just have not figured out if this is a constant dream or really happening. Living in this gated community prevents anyone from walking by my window, so it would have to come from a window across from me.

You are fortunate in that you understand your limitations with BiPolar. Being new to the game I am learning that I need to find an etiquette class on how to be BiPolar socially. Of course there is really no etiquette class, just the school of hard knocks. Unfortunately I cannot un-ring the bell once I have chased people out of my life. It happens suddenly which makes it even more apparent and hurtful.

I know these neighbors aren't worth one second of my time. However, it's the residue of hurt feelings that I am trying to manage now. I no longer will do anything social with them again, just managing hurt feelings right now in this moment is tough. I hurt all over. I'm done with the sororities here, finished.

I'll be polite but not engage anyone in conversation ever again here. I have to figure out a way to protect myself.

Blue

Heard back from my paratransit yesterday about the driver that abandoned the bus and left me beside a busy highway. I was on the way to my bankruptcy hearing and had to be present minded during that hearing on top of everything else (first time leaving home due to agoraphobia, anxiety and panic disorder).

The conversation was recorded.

The interviewer said that everything I said about what happened was verified as true and correct by the interior and exterior recording of this bus. And the location was also verified, which was right on an overpass over a large body of water. If anyone hit the bus, it would have sent me and the bus right over into the water as the concrete barrier was lower than the wheels of the bus.

I did tell them that as I sat there on the side of the highway watching all the speeding trucks passing by rocking the bus, that there were no escape hatches that I could see in the bus. The interviewer said she would have someone call me to go over emergency exits.

She said no need for the pictures I took since they had all the video recordings they needed.

She also said they are treating this seriously and I would have further contact with higher-ups, that this would not go un-noticed and corrective actions would be levied against the driver.

I have had such a difficult time turning over control of my life to drivers that I do not know, especially now, since I had to give up driving. Now, I have more reason to fear. I sat there and believed I was going to die last Wednesday and someone actually did, just 10 miles south of me running into the back of a truck on the side of the same highway I was on at the same time I was pulled over.

Shivers,

Blue

if your vet cannot help your kitty cat just know that cat lovers can't stand to see them suffer. I don't think it is fair to the kitty cat. I had two littermate schnauzers Hammy and Morgy.. I promised them if they were suffering I would have the vet put them to sleep. I took Morgy in because I thought he was suffering. He had bone cancer. The vet examined him and said no and at of the
end of the visit Morgy raced up the stairs to get of there. He died naturally two and half years later at 13. Hammy had renal failure and as soon as the vet said he couldn't help him I had Hammy put to sleep immediately. I had snowball, a kitty cat who had two prolapsed colons. I thought he was going to die because he wouldn't eat.He was so young and didn't even weight three pounds. My friend Joyce kept on yelling at me when I was crying hysterically to force feed him and give him nutrical. There were many tears but Snowball made it. He had such a deep soul.

I am so sorry for what you are going through. It is hard enough being bipolar.
fondly
bobby
I hope I haven't overstepped my boundaries

Oh no, Bobby, what in the world would make you think you overstepped your boundaries? Did I say something that prompted this? Please know that I value your responses to me !! Let's clear this up right away, so no misunderstandings ((( hugs )))

You helped me with your comments about your pets by empathizing with what I am going thru and sharing your experience. Thank you for that !!!

I have kept my kitty alive with grit over the past 9 months. When others would have walked away, I stayed with him and a large part of my bankruptcy is vet fees. If I had to do it all over again, I would. I am not giving up on him just yet. Although it's not an ideal situation with him, I do love him, even though it's been difficult to bond with him.

Without our furkids, life would be much harder for us. I lived without a kitty for 5 years determined not to go thru another heartache, but here I am right back in it again. So, I guess it's my calling. I did work for a vet years ago as his assistance so I learned alot which is helping me now with my kitty.

So, please do not think for one minute you overstepped any boundaries, you are just fine.

Blue ((( Hugs )))

a sigh of relief. I wish you could make a deal with your vet. II am so sorry.
bobby

Me too, Bobby, but I live in a high ticket part of the country and there are no breaks on their fees, one reason why the high kill shelters here are always full.

Blue

How awful!