Got an interesting text back from the sick neighbor. I sent her a text this morning wishing her well. What this sick neighbor texted me back surprised me. She said that that neighbor who is keeping me away, told her I was sick in bed with a migraine today and therefore could not visit with her. That is a bold faced lie and I caught her. Now, why in the world would she do this?

Not that I need to see them again, it was nice to have my suspicions verified. Now I know the truth about this neighbor who is keeping me away. I don't know what her motives are, nor do I care, I just care that I now know.

So, not having anything to loose at this juncture, I sent the sick neighbor a text back telling her I feel very good, have not had a migraine in weeks and was unable to visit with her today because I was told to stay away from her by this neighbor. I wished her a speedy recovery and said that this neighbor is in charge of her now.

Blue

Just got a very angry knocking on my front door. It was that neighbor who is keeping me away from the sick neighbor. I refused to answer the front door and I continue to wash my dishes, which anyone can hear thru that door. Clearly, I was ignoring her.

If she wants to leave me a message on my cell, that's fine or even text me, fine too, but I will not get into a verbal confrontation with her at my front door, nor do I need to see any angry faces at me. She no longer matters to me anymore. She got caught in a lie and probably the sick neighbor talked to her about this. It was important to me that I let the sick neighbor know why I was not there today helping her going forward.

Now, this neighbor lives above me and is walking hard over me. Clearly she's unhappy with me. But that's her problem. She lied and got caught in it.

Blue

that was great. you are free!

You know, every time I stand up for myself, I get slapped down. These women travel in groups, tight groups and they resent any outside involvement or interference. I was very reluctant to take care of their cats for those two weeks, I was afraid it would lead to something like this.

First that was L who I got close to for the last two years. Her closest friend informed me last month that L. group broadcasted all my mental health issues all over the community I live in. Why? Who knows. But when I tried to talk to her about this, she chose not to confront her friend who informed on her and cut her ties with me instead (sort of like shooting the messenger). She said she is doing this to keep peace in her little threesome.

Then there came the tenant (MN.) who started drinking again and told me on the eve of my bankruptcy that she would not be driving me to my hearing and texted me saying "she could not be part of my bankruptcy experience". Have not heard from her since.

Then along comes (ML) who lied about me and is keeping me away from the sick neighbor. Why? Who knows.

But these groups of women are all bullies and mean and try to make peoples lives intolerable. So, now, all these women I worked so hard at being a good friend dried up and now I am left with no one on this earth.

When I moved here, to where I am living now, all of my long time friends passed away leaving me to start over with building friendships, which I have been doing last two years. And look where it took me too, being slapped down and bullied.

Then the bankruptcy experience. My bankruptcy lawyer that I have been paying $500.00 a month since January, kept missing all my sensitive documents. The paralegals who were assigned to my case all quit and along with that went all my documents, never to be seen again. At the bankruptcy hearing, he screwed up my bankstatements and included someone elses statements he presented to the judge. I was soo incensed, I could not say anything. I sent him duplicates of my bank statments six times. After the hearing, he grouped together his clients and as I observed him, I could see he is a sick man... probably has Parkinson's which would explain things.

Then the trip to the bankruptcy hearing, the driver abandoned the bus and left me along on the side of the interstate subject to possible death.

And then my sick cat........................

Hoping the Lamicatl works and fast.

Blue



This just makes life soo hard lately, soo very hard.

hugs
bobby

Hugs back !!!

Blue

Wow. It's like they they chose to be in the mean girls clique.


Be kind to yourself.
Do fine ways ways to self-sooth.



M

Thank you Mari *smiles*.

I am working thru the trauma over the past month slowly. Picked up my knitting needles and thinking I will start to do that again. I have a scarf I have been working on for years and never completed. It helps get me into the *zone*. My cat has never seen anyone knit before, he was very enthralled, lol. Need to get back to my fiber arts and other art work as that is how I express emotion and it has helped me in the past work thru trauma. I have a book on expressing trauma thru art, will get that out and start to work thru it. I have noticed that I am dissociating alot today, so taking it very slow and easy. Doing things with intent and staying in the present moment when I do things today.

Today, the sick neighbor reached out to me via text and asked me to come to her apartment for a blood pressure check (I have a bp cuff) which I was using on her. She said she still is not well and is concerned about her health and needs my help. I simply told her that I am away from home visiting a friend. Thinking that would stop her, no, she asked if when I come home could I come to her apartment as she needs help. I did not reply nor do I intend to. She and M can work out the sick neighbors health issues themselves. M has her daughter within one mile of here and lots of other family and friends other than M and myself, so it's time she reach out to them to help her.

I am no longer running towards others who need help anymore. I need to run towards myself to help me, since no one is rallying around me to help me now. I feel like a wagon abandoned in the middle of a dessert.

Blue

Blue

Good for you. IF she keeps talking to you. Just tell her that
you can't deal with sickness of any kind. That you were looking
for friendship and no one wants that right now.

I have few friends, but that is my fault right now.

I'll do better when the weather gets cooler, I hate heat.

Donna

Thank you Donna *smiles*.

I will let my sick neighbor know that I will not get between her and M (who is keeping me away) and will opt not to come back to check in on her as I don't want any further confrontations. The sick neighbor needs to know what's going on. I have no further vested interest in keeping this group as friends, so will just keep the sick neighbor informed and why, nothing to loose.

Me too, it's way too humid and hot here.

Take care,

Blue