Blue

They are just trying to get a rise from you. I would ignore them
like you plan too. Also when they talk about treating themselves
to donuts and things, do as you did today. Just say something
like, oh that sounds so good. Please get me, and name something.

I would just continue to do that. I'm guessing they will stop giving
those kind of comments after a while.

Donna

Hi Donna ~ Yes, I see what they are doing and it won't work anymore. I blocked their cell phones for the next 48 hours and won't answer my door.

I don't understand why I am such a target at times. And I don't understand why the tables got turned against me in this manner.

It happens constantly now. I was offering to help set up and break down the tables and chairs for our community meetings and happy hour and serve during happy hour, but some of the neighbors here took swipes at me (verbally) saying unkind things about the way I dressed, etc, stuff like that. So, when I stopped participating with this, I was called a "quitter". So, I just cannot win at anything. That is why I had decided, before the drama over the s/s neighbor, to close the barn doors and stay away from everyone.

Now this............... dreadful thing I just went thru and am now being persecuted and bullied for helping the s/s neighbor.

Sleeping today helped and gave me strength to do something nice for myself.

It's just soo hard to stand up by myself and have no one around to stand beside me, constantly taking it on the chin. There is no one protecting me nor looking out for me now.

Blue

we pay our cat sitter $25 a visit.
bizi

Thank you bizi ~ I just upped my fee, that is if I do this again.

Blue

I have been having recurring dreams and through out the day I am plagued by one aspect of taking care of M's cat.

For the two weeks I cared for M's cat and M was just 10 minutes away, I would find a large serrated very sharp knife on her kitchen counter. It was there all by itself with no other dishes or utensils around it. I would put it away of course because she owns a cat and was afraid the cat would get hurt. But several days later that same large knife would appear in the same place on her kitchen counter. This occurrence happened every few days throughout the two weeks.

Wondering if this was a threat? (this was before my sick neighbor became s/s).

I have to shake my head about M and all the peculiarities that just do not add up and keeps me on guard around her. I don't know anything about her, but I do know that when she first came here, she came with nothing, just the clothing on her back and she slept on the floor for a long time.

Best thing to do is to keep away from her and never be alone with her. She just gives me the willies and I need to trust the gut reaction about M.

Blue

yes blue, trust your gut!
fear is real and so intuition.
bizi

Hi Bizi ~ Thank you I have no further need to be alone in M's apartment going forward. I will listen to my gut and honor that going forward.

The thing about honoring fear.....it can be hard to differentiate between paranoia and real fear and fear that was triggered by past events. Fear is a strong emotion and emotions love to build upon each other and is very hard to get out of. I used to take DBT and understand the spectrum.

Blue

Blue

I would just keep trusting your gut. I would also try to relax.
With the knitting or whatever you can.

Donna