oh wow. i wonder what is happening. best of luck
bobby

I am so sorry for the hold up....very frustrating.
((((((HUGS)))))
bizi

I am so ticked at Marci. She rarely says thank you when I give her something and I hate it when she asks for something. Yesterday I gave her three tops and of course she didn't say thank you Two were new..





she almost acts as if she was doing me a favor. She asked for a little bottle of essential oil to help her sleep. I bought a lot but I didn't feel like giving her any. She doesn't understand that I am out of control about spending and now I am worried that I will run out of money. Yesterday she mocked me and said she was bipolar. Today I bought her a bottle which has gotten me furious. I don't think I will give her xmas money. I have given her so much and if she can't figure out that I am overspending because of mental illness f@#k her.
This morning I woke up with such gas pains. the new laxative isn't working that well.

An agency is trying to find a therapist for me that comes to the apartment. I really need it. I can;' afford to pay weekly cab fares.
Roman Chamomile Essential Oil for Anger Issues. Roman chamomile essential oil is helpful to anyone under stress, frustration, depression, intense fear, loneliness, or post-traumatic stress disorder. It is also used to manage resentment and anger.

i am going to try it right now.

Bobby

The laxative might have just been taking a little longer than you thought
it should. I don't know. But remember that even if it works most of the time its working. That is what counts.

When it comes to Marci, maybe you need to see if the agency has someone else that can come one day of the week. And take Marci back to once a week. See if you like the new person, and then break the relationship with Marci.

Or just see if she finally gets it that you don't want her mocking you and
things.

Donna

I am with donna, see if you can get a new person. You don't need the added stress.
love bizi

I actually wound up taking three laxatives and the prescription laxative again in the morning. I read up on the internet and a lot of people have trouble with it.
Before I got Marcy the agency had a lot of trouble getting me a helper. It seems that most of the women don't just want to work four hours at a time because they don't get paid much and have to pay their own bus fare. If I tried to do that then I think Marci would just stop altogether. She comes on Monday and Tuesday. On Tuesday there is not much work. She really is a good person. Today I will tell her I ordered the essential oil for her and I am totally terrified that I am going to run out of money. Even my supplementary insurance is going up next year to almost 190 a month besides a deductible.. I will see if she offers to give me the money. If she does I will take it. I was going to offer her more clothes but I will just give them to the good will. I have a lot of cashmeres that are in great condition that I want to get rid of and just won't mention them. I will just keep a few. I want to straighten out the apartment and make it easy for when I die.I am leaving everything to Alice and want to save her some problems. I hardly wear sweaters now and I like to be a bit cold.
love
bobby
the chamomile put me to sleep for a while.

((((((HUGS)))))))
love bizi

Marci didn't offer to pay for the essential oil I ordered.I told her I was going to run out of money. Then she was one of the new toys I got for Danny. They don't cost much money, under 5 dollars and she said she would love to have something like that on her bed.I have really spoiled her. I knew she was asking for it but I didn't comment rather saying something nasty like you should buy one yourself. Right now I am just so angry I will say things I will regret. She doesn't know anything is wrong. In the morning she had "in service" and part of the talk was on bipolar. She said that was Bobby. They talked about overspending. She really knows. I will probably tell her on Monday that since I have given her so much those will be her xmas presents.
Today hopefully I will not buy anything except maybe chinese food.I wsould up buying another essential oil that is good for anger I am not getting on the scale. I am so scared about money. I am so scared about being alone.I am so scared of my anger... I have to write something to Zeynep. I feel so fragile.
Love
bobby

Maybe the essential oils will help you with your anxiety....any more thought about the risperdal?
love bizi