I hope you have a nice luncheon tomorrow!
Am hoping that you feel better.what are you eating these days?
love you
bizi

i took the 20 melatonin and still didn't sleep.
i have been having ground lamb, ramen noodles in different flavors.
my vitals were better. 129 69 101.
i have wasted so much time this morning on my smartphone. I really need Robert's help. I kept on trying.
love
bobby

by hook or crook I succeeded in sending a picture which I retried from my smart phone. I am trying to get money back from two ebay items that weren't as described. Just got an email from Cecilia and she says she is getting better.
I wrote back and said I loved her and miss her.

i just drank over half a bottle of white wine. I was so depressed. I really screwed up. I did get the refund from ebay. I put alice through a lot of worry.
I hate being bipolar and out of control!

I am so sorry you are depressed.
hope you can sleep tonight and have a better saturday.
(((((((HUGS)))))))
love you
bizi

alice wrote me a very thoughtful note, She is a saint. the wine knocked me out.
love
bobby

I am glad that alice wrote to you.
bizi

yes. robert fixed my new chair. I am so exhausted. danny licked me a few times
on the face. I was just so depressed today. it was awful.
love
bobby
i can't control my spending and eating

It must feel awful being out of control.:(
((((((HUGS))))))))
love

bizi

it is really scary. I will tell my doctor how bad it is. I still want to go to ebay. I also throw out food. I might try an all meat diet.
the seat that robert assembled is so comfortable. I have known robert for at least 30 years. I am so blessed to have him and alice in my life.I think that he was happy seeing danny lick me. Danny is still very wild. didn't hear from Suri last week. first time this has happened in so very long.
I slept more last night but had some wine. I have to pick up packages from downstairs.I dread to see what I bought!!
love
bobby

Good morning bobby!
Great that robert put together your new chair. You have such good friends.

I wish I had more.
Here is to hoping you have a good day.
hugs and love
((((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Jeff made me some bullet proof coffee today with butter and coconut oil whipped in a nutri bullet.
It was very good. He used a bit of stevia in mine.It was really good and is supposed to help with digestion, and weight loss.
bizi

i bought mct oil but stopped using it. guess I will start using it again. I bought one of those hand held foamers but haven't used it yet. I refuse to get on the scale.
oh I think you deserve 10 gold medal!
love
bobby
7 Science-Based Benefits of MCT Oil

suri still hasn't answeredmy email. I am more than worried

Thank you for posting the article.
bizi

still haven't heard from Suri. Just wrote her again. Have been obsessing about her and money. Yesterday I bought a pair of boots for 28 dollars and they retail for over 150 dollars. I couldn't resist. today hopefully I will buy nothing. I have to go the doctors to pick up medicine. My balance is better so probably I can't tolerate fanapt. He is starting me now on a small dosage this time..
I lost two pounds. I just had meat and coffee with half and half yesterday will try to do the same today. also obsessing about how much to give the workers in this building for xmas. They all probably think I have a lot of money because of all the packages I get. oh well.
am going to cancel my dental appointment for wednesday. I don't feel that great. I wish I heard from Suri.
love
bobby

just canceled my dental appt. now scheduled for jan 19 at 12. still haven't heard from Suri and thinking the worse Last time I talked with her she said her tests came back bad, she has cancer in her breast, lungs and lymph nodes.

Why not call her? She needs your support more than ever.
bizi

i can't call her!!!!!!!she calls me over the internet and I don't have her number or know her mother's name who lives in ny.I think the email also goes to her husband.
love
bobby

Bobby

I'm going to hope she gets back with you soon. Maybe something
like what happened with my email happened. I picked up a virus
and it finally got fixed this morning.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

she usually calls me. she does answer my email but she hasn't. we never talk about death!

I am sorry you can't call her.
((((((HUGS)))))
love

bizi

thanks so much. I am hoping I will get a call or email soon.
love
bobby

maybe suri is in the hospital. At the end of my class yesterday the Rabbi said a prayer for her. That made me feel good.
Yesterday Robert came over with Danny to check out the desk he is going to put together. Danny made me forget all my worries.Abby was teasing him and it was so funny. She even rolled off the chair at one point. I gave Danny bone treats which he devoured. Then I put him on my lap and was hugging and petting him. I love dogs as much as I love cats. Then I don't know what she was doing but she was driving him mad. I think she went under the recliner out of his reach and he was trying to get her. She had a great time. Poor danny was frustrated. He licked me a lot which was great! He is a challenge. Robert is so good to me.
Alice knows Suri from when we all worked at the library as programmers. I don't want to upset Alice so I haven't told her that I haven't heard from Suri.

glad that you had a good time with danny!
hope you have a good day.
((((((HUGS)))))
love bizi

I'm glad Danny and Robert come and visit. That is such a treat for both
you and Abby yesterday. I am glad the rabbi said a prayer for her.

That was a great add to your day.

my monitor went out but I think it was because of the computer. I might need a new computer.

Bobby

I thought you just bought your computer. I'd have Robert check
things to see what is going on. Before buying anything. Also
maybe he can help you find the one you want too.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

thee computer isn't that old. I definitely will rely on Robert!

I hope you get your computer figured out asap!
are you on your phone now?
bizi

the phone was fine. robert said he will check out the computer. It is working now. Before it stopped asking me for password when I logged on. Then it stopped doing that which I thought was funny. Yesterday I tried to turn off the computer and the light kept blinking. Then it finally turned off. Then when I turned on again the monitor was fine. So far so good.
I woke up severely depressed. I was feeling sorry for myself about Suri. I am thinking the worse. If it is so she is no longer being tormented and is in God's hands. I miss her so much. I finally wrote alice and said I hadn't heard from her. I couldn't hold back any longer.
I am on the next dose of the medicine.
Oh when danny comes over he always stays on the leash. Each time Robert walks past the building danny starts pulling to try to get in.
love
bobby
another high credit card. I think Epic is paying my monthly prescription drug bill.

Bobby

Do you have an antivirus you can run. It might be needed. If not
have Robert help you with getting one. Now that is something
good to put on the credit card.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

microsoft provides for free a good antivirus. Robert told me about it!

from suri's husband
 

Hi Bobby,
This is Gedalia, Suri's husband. Suri has suffered a turn for the worse as of about 2 weeks ago. The cancer has spread to her bones and to a few parts of her brain. We are still hopeful but, needless to say, highly concerned. She sleeps most of the day as she is on painkillers. She went through a few seizures and spent a few days in the hospital. She is now undergoing radiation treatment on the head. We won't know the results of this treatment until about a month. In the meantime, she is pretty much out of commission as far as communication is concerned. If you would like to help, I believe that your prayers would be of great assistance. Let's keep in touch about this as I know that you are a good friend of Suri's and you mean a great deal to her.
Gedalia

I'm glad he finally sent you a response. And yes, he is so correct. Prayers is a good answer. I will also pray for her. I think you might ask for prayers for your good friend too.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

I asked the other day for the rabbi who I take a course from to pray. Gedalia is also a Rabbi. I feel so much pain I opened a bottle of wine. It is too horrifying even though I know God knows what he doing.

I don't understand what you meant. I have been praying for Suri for 3 1/2 years once I found out that suri had cancer. We have talked for years and practically everything about God.God knows what he is doing. I can't stop feeling pain.

I'm just meaning you can ask us all to pray for Suri too.

That is all.

Donna :hug::grouphug:

sending good thoughts to suri.
((((((HUGS))))))
bizi

thanks so very much Donna.I don't know why I didn't do that, I have asked the Rabbis who have come to my apartment to pray for Suri. I asked the Rabbi the other day who I take a class from to say a prayer. I haven't asked any of my friends to.
fondly
bobby

I have a woman this time who is coming in 20 minutes to put the heart monitor on me. They are drilling outside my window so I guess we will have to go in the bathroom. Sent an email to Gedalia and told him to tell suri I believed in golden safety nets from God and sending prayers to her,him and the family.