I decided that I won't give Marci any money for xmas. I am afraid it will make me very angry and she seems to expect all the many things I have given her.
Some of the things I bought expressly for her. It all has really added up. She really got me angry when she told me to give the shoes to her friends.
I am trying a strategy now so I won't create situations for myself that make me angry.What good is the medication if I keep on creating situations. I can't let fear rule me. It also feels as if I am going against God to have these angry feelings.

Bobby

Instead of giving Marci money, give her an item of clothing or shoes.
I would wait till close to xmas and get it though. Keep up with the times
and just wait. I know how hard it is to not buy. Or even when you
buy the essential oils, you could work on giving her one of those for
a holiday. Set up a pattern give her one for a holiday. Remember
there is almost one holiday a month. You could make it were she
gets one thing a month from you. This way like the dogs, that you
buy toys for. She would also get something.

And even if its a stuffed toy at some point, heehee that is her one thing
that month. I'd not tell her at this time its what your doing. But work
on just that.

Donna

Donna I bought her essential oil after she asked for some of mine. I have bought her new clothes.I have given her used clothes. I have given her great shoes. I wind up giving her food. I have to stop. I am so worried about money. She makes 40k. Why can't I just tell her all the gifts I have given you are your xmas gift?
I got furious when she said she would not hand wash a couple of blouses and nor would she do ironing for the blouses. On her second day of the week she doesn't have much to do.
fondly
bobby
I have let her get away with murder.

actually maybe I should just not say anything and see what she does.

Bobby

I was only saying that instead of giving money you could just
give her some of the things she wants. If that is what you
wanted to do. If she has nothing to do the second day maybe
you should see if the agency would consider finding you a driver
for that second day to take you to your appointments on the days
you need someone. That way you wouldn't have to pay for the taxi
fee.

I don't know what else to suggest but I think that might be a good idea.

Donna

Don't you think I have given her more than enough? As you know I still have little control over my impulse spending and am eating into my savings and make little from social security.she has about 1 1/2 hours of work on tuesday. if she does the wash then it takes her longer. she usually just stays downstairs the whole time. I need to cab no matter where I go. right now my next appointment isn't until january I think. I get a volunteer at dorot to help me. The agency doesn't provide drivers.
I would still be spending money if I got her things she wanted. Don't you understand I am angry at the thought of spending more money on her.
she gets paid and does the minimum. Robert never takes money when he helps me and it is a pleasure to give his dog things. That he will accept and thank me profusively
and send me pictures of danny playing with them.
fondly
bobby
noww that she won't iron a little even though she has the time, she has gotten me more not wanting to give her more!

YES YOU HAVE GIVEN HER ENOUGH!!!!


I think that you give her stuff to justify your spending money on clothes and stuff. Controlling your spending is the issue. How can you stop yourself?
I think you could find other interests to take up your time. Could you make it more difficult to actually purchase items?
I am sorry this bipolar spending is hard to reel in. I feel for you
((((((HUGS and love))))))
bizi

thank yoo!
I was hoping the new antipsychotic would help with the spending, irritability, anger and overeating. Today I had a whole pumpkin pie and feel rotten. I am bidding on five more tops.I hope I am outbid. In two weeks if it doesn't stop I will make another appt with my doctor. I have to stop going to ebay.
love
bobby

Bobby,


I can that see that at one point you got a certain degree of pleasure giving Marci gifts, but now that this has stopped working for you, you can stop and feel good about your decisions.


=-=-

I figured out after a while that my cleaning lady was selling stuff I gave her. (she first was telling me that she was giving them to close needy friends.)

I don't care that much because I needed those items out of my house. Still, it showed layers of deceit that I only recently began to comprehend.

Do what makes satisfies you.


M

you are right. I couldn't wait to give her presents. I think it bothered me that she hardly ever said thank you. My spending only got out of hand I think three or four months ago. Then I started resenting her asking for things like food and stop working and spend a lot of time slowly eating or drinking.. Then I noticed she would sometimes ask about things which I think she also wanted.
She is only here 4 hours on Monday and four hours on Tuesday. Inside I went ballastic when she asked for some essential oil and told me I could pour a little in one of the empty bottles I bought. I wound up buying one for her. She didn't say thank you but told me it did help her sleep. I freaked when I saw she bought a tiny carton of orange juice for over two dollars. I never would have spent that much money on something so small. She always buys bottled water.
She really does take care of herself and I don't. She puts herself together lovely when she comes and goes with creams etc. It is weird but getting to know her I now think she is beautiful. she comes from Jamaica. She has a great sense of style and she is as fat as I am. She has definitely gotten more bossy and has been taken for granted my good will. Even though I am still angry I do love her.
Sorry about your woman, I hate deceit.

I spoke to Suri for over an hour this morning. I told her about Marci and she suggested calling the agency and asking if I could have her one day a week and another person later in the week. I think that is what is going to happen. The coordinator said that they can do a little hand washing. Now I have to wait to see Marci's reaction. I told the coordinator I loved Marci and thought she was wonderful.
I did really good today! I feel like crying. Suri has lost 7 pounds and she is so hungry but most food nauseates her. She has been trying the keto diet to try to bring her sugar down. cancer loves sugar. she doesn't know why her sugar is high.Her doctor this morning told her to exercise which will bring the sugar down and stop that diet.
We talked so much about her husband. She loves Star Trek and when she was little she adored Dr.Spoke. It turns out that is whom she married. Her husband is a genius who can do anything. He was a physics major and was told he could probably win a Nobel Prize if he continued. Instead he became a Rabbi. Unlike Suri he didn't start as being Orthodox. EMOTIONALLY HE IS DUMB. ie Spoke with no emotions.
She let off so much steam today. She sounded so much better.
Whenever possible I said something positive! I told her she would live a long life!