i haven't slept. I did have coffee. I have been listening to music all night. I joined you tube premium so there are no interruptions. I just started playing ragas. I still have my anger. Rats. I am not depressed.I think I still have the urge to buy. I noticed that parts of the bathroom floor and the groat between the tiles are dirty. I don't think Marci ever scrubbed them. rats. I might just try and if I am successful I will tell her. I think I am looking for a real fight.
II don't think she has cleaned them. They look a lot better now and I just bought two types of tile cleaners. When I get the new cleaning woman I don't want her to think that she can get away with murder and that I don't mind dirt.
It is really hard being bipolar. You can't really tell if your anger is justified or not.

I definitely will run out of money if I keep up the overspending. I just checked my credit card balance -ugh
I hope this antipsychotic works. I started praying to God no more clothes or books. I cancelled my unlimited kindle membership but they won't prorate what I paid.I don't want to cancel my premium youtube or my amazon music because they give me so much pleasure and I am home alone practically all the time. I feel like crying but I can't.

When Jeff had his hip repaired some 8 years ago. They told him it would last this long so we are running out of time. He was told that when he started having pain then it would be time for a total replacement. Since hip replacements only last 20 years the surgeon was buying him more time.
Keeping our fingers crossed. What he told jeff was he did not know how long it would last, one year, 5 years or more....I hope it continues to hold for as long as possible.


Are you going to try to take a nap today? or are you just going to stay awake and try again tonight? Why did you cancel your kindle? You like to read!!!!
love you bizi

good luck for Jeff!
I get bookbub which often offers free books. the unlimited kindle costs extra and lets you read up to ten books at a time for free which you would otherwise have to pay for. I spent about 50 dollars for I forgot the length of time. I was still in the trial period so I thought I could cancel it and save the money. I have so very many unread books it would shock you. I was buying books in lots on ebay. I cannot estimate how many books I have. Now I have trouble reading books but not on the kindle where you can adjust the print size.
I totally panicked when I figured out the rate of money I have been spending. My ss is small and even though my friend pays my rent I have been going so overboard with my savings to supplement my spending. There isn't that block in me to stop spending. If I see for instance a tunic that appeals to me I would just either bid on, make an offer or just buy it. Then I would find an author I really liked and just find her other books and buy them. I have bought a ton of supplements. I also spent a lot of money on laxatives that didn't work. Now I have one or two-I can't tell which one but finally it works. Phillips stopped working. I had a change in vision prescription and bought a lot of new glasses. Now hopefully i won't visit ebay and buy more. I still am bidding on some.
I just woke up from a nap and was severely depressed. I just took my morning meds. I can't find one. I love to read, listen to music, and play with my kitties. Now I hardly have any friends and don't like to leave my apartment. I really looked forward to seeing Marci twice a week but I think she pushed me too far. I am still very angry at her and will have to fake it. I will tell her how I gave Good Will 12 big bags of clothes to irritate her. They were good clothes and some were still in their plastic covers. I am positive she would have wanted them. This was the least stressful thing I could do. I didnd't have to wait for her and then leave the clothes she wanted in my very cluttered apartment. All I had to do is bag them and have the porter bring them down.
right now I am staring at an empty soda bottle case that she just left in the corner and didn't throw out.I will throw it out after this post! That pastor was shocked when I told him I had a cleaning woman twice a week. I am having mct oil with my coffee and it is said it gives you a lot of energy besides helping you with the keto diet. Before I didn't have any energy. I love my essential oils and when I run out of one of them, I will replenish it.
I hope God helps me to stop spending
love
bobby

What about putting your computer up or locking it?
bizi

i get email. my groceries and cleaning supplies etc come from the net. i get stock quotes and economic information from the net. i have this forum. I gather a lot of information from the net.
love
bobby

i forgot. what would I do without my music

i just called amazon and got almost a 50 dollar credit for canceling the unlimited kindle.

That is great bobby!

I got this from my youngest nephew

What a blessing to let your friend talk freely for 1.5 hours. You are such a good person to those who have been good to you.

Love,

Alex

i thought that was interesting that he added about those who have been good to me.

i just bought some matcha tea but won't go to ebay
i just both some erythritol . i had never heard of the sweetner thaat works for the keto diet.
https://ketoconcern.com/erythritol-keto/
i just bought two books