I have really gotten worse. My spending is out of control. I just picked up the packages I bought. so many essential oils. no more of those. i wonder what triggered all this spending. I can't read for long. I have been on the same book for a long time and really like it but can only read a few pages at a time.before i could read a book a day. so unlike me. i will take a bath soon.
love
bobby

i have these Bipolar Disorder: rosemary, cinnamon, lavender, ylang ylang, basil, rose, thyme, mint, eucalyptus, bergamot, frankincense and will experiment more. just bought some cheap dog toys

bought another pair of glasses-cheap and pens

all this spending sounds manicy....what about starting back on the respirdal?
love,

bizi

you are right. I have spent so much money on essential oils and have been spending money on organizational storage containers. right now my apartment smells of roses. I think they help with my anxiety, depression, emptiness etc. I stopped buying clothes. My friend might come over with her dog next week. I haven't seen her in over three or four years. She spends most of the time in the Hamptons.. If she does I would like to give her some toys. thank God I no longer feel like drinking. I haven't had any stomach problems in a while. I don't know know when I find out if I get approval from the insurance company. Otherwise I have to fill out the form for patient assistance which I hate doing.
I hate spending the money on the psychiatrist and the cab fare. Now I am nonstop listening to music on premium youtube so it doesn't stop..I thought I was going to get together with a friend today but she hasn't called. Another friend who just had knee surgery was supposed to call me back yesterday but hasn't. I don't feel like calling her back. Right now I am listening to whitney houston sing I will always love you. so great..and eating plain popcorn. so manic
love
bobby

now i want to go in the opposite direction. good will is coming to this building on the ninth. I think i am going to throw out most of my shoes sweaters and a lot of tops. they haunt me

my friend just called who yesterday said we could do something and didn't call. that hurt so much! I told her I couldn't talk because I felt so rotten.
My friend from Israel Suri hasn't called. When I am searching for information on essential oils and find things on cancer I send them to her, She uses essential oils.. i told her I was confused whether or not I should send her what I find because I don't think she should think about her cancer.
If Kathy calls now I will tell her I am too upset to speak. I hate being hurt.

my prescription for trulance was approved but he sent it to the wrong pharmacy. I am getting today. relief

I finally haven't overeaten today . It has been a while. I am getting in touch with a lot of anger. I don't think I am going to take a friend out for her birthday. She said she was going to take me out for mine and she didn't. She has so much more money than I have. All along I have been giving her things and when she offers to pay I say no. Now I will probably give her some laxatives which cost me twenty dollars. I have given her shoes-nice ones- that are a little snug. If I take her out I will feel like a smuck since I treat her better than she treats me.I think I am going to wind up with no friends. Maybe it is better if I just read, listen to music and play with my kitty cats and not be triggered. This last depression was so painful. Today I have even been able to read.I think I will be able to finish the book tonite. I'm listening to Graceland. so wonderful. I wrote to another friend and just told her positive stuff without anything negative. I just saw that the prescription was delivered.
My apartment smells of rose which is very nice. With the music and kitty cats I don't feel alone. Maybe the anger has been triggering all the mania.

I am glad that you have your kitties to love.do you have a difuser for the room?
bizi