Well I spent much of the day trying to do paperwork and was somewhat successful. There was more than I realized and it took me longer as well to do certain tasks.
I still have 6 weeks worth of charting but at least I was productive today.
I have been so lazy and unmotivated to get my work stuff done....don't know why?
This is the worst it has ever been. I think that I can finish charting next week. If I just do some every night then it will get done.
sigh
getting ready for bed now. hubby is already asleep.
he just got back from a super bowl party. He said he over ate.
3 touch downs in the last 6 minutes of the game sounds really exciting!
Will get the lab results tomorrow. Hope to go up on my tegretol and hope my thyroid level is normal....doubtful.
My drinking is crazy.
I think I had 9 drinks yesterday and had today, not sure.
picking is getting a bit better...not given up on the NAC amino acid capsules that I was taking for my excoriation disorder.....(skin picking).
calling it a night
thanks for reading!
hugs to those who need them
((((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Still hypo/manic waiting for my tegretol labs...hoping she raises the dose. I need help!
More paranoia creeping in....sigh
I am literally a ditsy blond!!!!!
my attention span is very short.
Driving is so hard right now....everything "needs" to be looked at.....
I am making assumptions about things that are wrong!
I will have dinner tonight with hubby meat loaf....
Will start to try to get caught up in charting.
sigh
will put the grateful dead music on again as that always helps me focus.
I am sleeping good so that is good!
bizi

I have finished 2 weeks of charting (many errors found and corrected...sigh)
5 1/2 weeks left.....
Drinking in the evening is helping me focus....I know self medicating.....
bizi

Great accomplishment, Bizi! :)

congratulations! you really made progress.
Love
bobby

Jeff cooked a good meal tonight Shrimp with riced califlower and alfredo sauce, it was delicious!
I had a quick meatloaf for lunch.mashed potatoes, chard and beets. all very good ate in 15 minutes!
I miss 2 clients this morning. could not sleep last night awake at 4 am and finally got up and took 1mg of klonipin and slept off and on till 11;45. Sandras CBD got taken off their shelves because of their saying dietary supplement. So they are fighting about that.
I may order me some off of the internet..
Saw 3 clients this afternoon. I have this excoriation disorder and that is what I do for a living is pick at peoples feet/nails and cuticles. This is what takes me so long to finish, I am looking for perfection. I really need to be mindful of this.

I hope you have a good day.

bizi

the meal sounds great! I am so sorry about your disorder. How long have you had it?
love
bobby

I think I have had it my whole life....me picking at various body parts.
mosquito bites on my legs then sores , pulled my heal off one time because it was cracked, picked at my face with acne then rosacea as an adult, cuticles for many years and now the realization about my work.
sigh
bizi

I am so sorry.
love
bobby

good news!!!!
My thyroid tsh was down to 2.5 ! yeah!!!!!

and she doubled my tegretol. and I did tell her that I had some hypomania. but did not elaborate and she did not question me.
so that is great!
bizi
looking forward to some decrease hypomania!

fantastic news!
love
bobby

I have taken 5,000 units of vit D3 for many years and my levels have been good 50-60 which is great!
Until this last wellness exam. it was 37!
so she has me taking 10,000 daily for the remainder of my bottle.


This past year...my blood work has been off.
elevated blood calcium - discontinued both calcium supplements and magnesium, now normal

elevated kidney tests now normal
elevated thyroid test, now normal...that is from the lithium

and now the vit D level


That is a lot of vit d to be taking...need to look up toxicity signs symptoms.


weird.
bizi

that sounds great. I take a lot of magnesium and have been neglecting vitamin D. Is the ex lax still working?
love
bobby

the exlax 25mg pills are still working 1 a day.
bizi

I'm sending hugs :grouphug:

Welcome back pink kitty!
I hope you are doing well....
pull up a chair, we are a small group but are faithful to each other.
(((((((HUGS))))))
bizi

I cheated and took 1mg of klonipin to sleep

and did not take the 2 kinds of melatonin nor the hydroxyzine.
1 pill verse 7 pills. But it is unethical to take the klonipin.....I have that stashed for emergency purposes stock piled from 2 years ago.

I only have so many left. https://psychcentralforums.com/images/smilies/frown.gif

But I sleep so good on it (and I did for years!!!!!)!!!!!!!!! I wish pdoc would still let me take it again. I am really mad that she wont let me have it anymore. grrrr!

I was going to try getting CBD but they took the tinctures off the shelves at Sandras health food store due to labeling issues and I don;t trust the gas station sellers.
I just ordered anxiocalm it is supposed to be a good anti anxiety supplement. Don't know how long it will take to come in.

So we shall see.
I would really hate to have to spend hundreds of dollars to get klonipin over seas. I have to sleep.

bizi

just heading to bed.....
(((((HUGS))))))
love bizi

that is great about the ex-lax! Why won't your doctor give you more klonopin. I have been on it for I think 10 or 11 year. I never heard of that supplement. I hope it works. If it does I will try some.
love
bobby

Tonight we Did Hatties awful dressing change.

8 inches by 6 inches dressing.

It could be much worse....
more drainage, more bleeding....
Thank goodness it is only draining a little.
How long can she continue?????
She is getting to look emaciated, though not as bad as could be......
she is still eating and drinking.....Hubby's requirements to keep her alive.

sigh
trying a new sleep aid. terry naturally

"anxiocalm"

health food store. supposed to be for anxiety. going to try it tonight.
wish me luck!
bizi _______

BIzi, What's going on with you kitty? Is she o.k.?

i hope it worked. poor kitty cat
love
bobby

Unfortunately the supplement did not work, sigh got up and took one of my precious klonipin and slept like a charm.


Hattie has cancer.
They operated on it 2 times and it came back.
Hubby refuses to put her down until she is not eating...and now he says listless.
sigh
running late like usual....
bizi
did not get the christmas trees down oh well....

He doesn't think she is in pain.....HOW CAN SHE NOT BE IN PAIN?
sigh
bizi

i think she would stop eating if she were in pain.
love
bobby

well she is still eating alot of cat treats for sure!

I really don't think she is ready to leave.
love
bobby

((((((((((( Hugs ))))))))))))
:grouphug::hug::grouphug:

I need to get back into therapy again.
The last time I was there it was discovered

that my job carries/feeds into my excoriation disorder.
Like wise with me, I am obsessed with picking at my cuticles

until they bleed. Sometimes This is like that when I do my clients feet.

I will pick too much and they say ow! It will snap me out

of my trance and I will quickly finish up. I am sure I have lost clients for this reason.
I need to lighten up and be less serious.
Now that I am aware of it I think I am doing better.

But I have to be vigilant!
I am using a heavy lotion on my hands and fingers and cuticles at night when going to bed to soften the dry areas on my cuticles, it seems to be helping.
sigh
bizi

i am so sorry you are going through this.
love
bobby

Thanks bobby!
We split fahitas tonight at el paso and saved some money. drinks were half off too. Me thinking about saving money is a good sign.



I am getting to bed earlier tonight.
Made myself do all of my night routine that I had not been doing.

Shower first thing in the morning. Have to I, am a fright!

I might even look at my nutrition news letter that I have ignored for months 2-3 months behind. and it is only 8 pages!
My picking has been so bad lately, I thought the NAC was helping but not lately. I have a couple artificial tips on my nails and they need attention so I cut them back and filed all of the dry skin/cuticles.
and even gave my hands and nails a sugar scrub treatment that I got free from bath and body works when I bought the parafin cream for my hands from the gift card that was given to me by my brother in law.my hands look so much better with the attention!
good.


heading for bed.
bizi
Got a hold of robin my therapist and see her next week, thank goodness!
Am having major heart burn from the tegretol, side effect, feel like I am going to throw up!
sigh

I am so glad you are seeing Robin! I am sorry about the side effects of tegretol..My stomach has been bothering so much.and I have been trying everything. It is so gassy.
Love
bobby

when it says to take food with meds how much does that mean?
I already forgot to take tegretol after dinner and it is almost 11pm. I grabbed a slimfast it has 180 calories for the drink and I like it.
but that could get expensive. maybe I will research that.
what do you think?

Maybe it's only to prevent stomach irritation / indigestion.



I take meds in the late evening and when I can get
hubby to watch me take them.

(We use the pill minder but I confuse myself easily.)




M

So how much food is that?

I can't afford to take a slim fast every night and a piece of cheese costs $.50.
bizi

Excoriation (Skin Picking) Disorder: What Is It?
for you bobby.


bizi

when did it start with you? can a novacaine lotion help you?
love
bobby

I have picked my whole life starting as a young child.
My friend says I have boundary issues and she is right.
bizi
an acquaintance said that she takes a teaspoon with meds of peanut butter. so I will try that tonight.
bizi

I was still awake at 4;18 last night so got up and took a klonipin and wrote a note to jeff to have brunch with out me. I did get up earlier than I would have liked just because. sigh
I will get my CBD tomorrow so am looking forward to trying that.
Got up at 11am this morning.
Need to do 2 loads of laundry, paperwork, my little desk is covered with it, and take down the christmas trees.
off to hub city for a bacon egg lettuce and tomato sandwich on rye bread with mayo!
have a good day yall!
bizi

I was still awake at 4;18 last night so got up and took a klonipin and wrote a note to jeff to have brunch with out me. I did get up earlier than I would have liked just because. Got up at 11am this morning, We were able to go to brunch together and I had a BELT sandwich on rye it was delicious!

I will get my CBD tincture, feeling a little illegal about it. Bought it from a friend who bought it from a supplier directly at a discounted price because he is disabled......tomorrow so am looking forward to trying that. I am hoping it acts like my klonipin so I won't have to take that.


Need to do 2 loads of laundry, paperwork, my little desk is covered with it, and take down the christmas trees.
Better get back to work, I can see a bit more table top!
bizi ______