[bizi]

This is what I sent my pdoc:
Dr. Orazio,


Just wanted to update you.
I think I am a bit better today, less manic.
Have been sleeping at least 8 hours every night,
less computer time, not drinking since Sunday (2-23-20).


Have not been working all week, getting errands done.
Will not work until I see you on tuesday morning.
Then I have half days the rest of that week.

I decided that I am not taking any new clients at this time,
was getting too busy.



I get my tegretol level drawn this morning.
And if there is still wiggle room....would like to increase
the dose..that is if we can.
Thank you for your patience and understanding.

Elizabeth




I did not tell her that jeff is gone until sunday.
I talked to kay this morning.
Need to get going to get my blood level for tegretol drawn at 11;30.

Just took the 5mg of zyprexa and 50mg of visteril right now,
then lunch at sandras.
Then I start on the billing. and the A/C guy comes. I should be able to finish the billing today, I hope.


Wonder how my mil is doing?
My phone is at 5%
need to charge it, have to go to best buy and get a new charger, I also have a car charger so that is good. I have a land line with the fax machine too....need to get going!
much love to you
bizi

[Dmom3005]

Bizi
You sound more grounded. Keep doing things to help. I sure hope Jeff's mom is doing well. Today is my second day home thanks to all my snow.

[bizi]

Thank you Donna!


Thanks for your support ladies!
4th day alcohol free.
My mental health is not good. I am worse.
Went to another AA meeting this time it was
a meditation one they meet every thursday at 5;30.
I liked the meeting room(it is a churches library with couches and
comfy chairs to sit in) and working class people,
so much better than last nights meeting with swearing from 2 different people.
I don't think I will go back to that one.
I just ignored the religious parts, even so,
who knows, maybe I will have a spiritual awakening?
Have to be careful with my bipolar. After the AA meeting
we went to Bordons ice cream shop the last free
standing one in the world! I had a bowl of chilli
and some mint chocolate chip ice cream it was delicious!
I took my meds and I feel better coming home.
It was difficult driving in the dark. And Very hard concentrating.
So I won't be driving in the dark any more.
I really need to call my psych doctor Dr. Orazio.
If they are going to admit me to a psych hospital
I would rather it be done sooner than later.
Earlier today I wrote to her saying that I was a bit better.
This was not true. Now I am worse.

I feel so bad for Marysue, Jeffs mother is in ICU now with an
exacerbation of her myesthinia gravis=MG
and is on the ventilator following her surgery gastropexy(tack up her stomach).
He arrived in INDY and did not get to see her after surgery yesterday.
Went there this morning to see her and looked awful.

I am supposed to meet a friend who is a social worker tomorrow for lunch at 11:45,
vietnamese place close to my house. so that is goo. then some friends of ours invited me to their house for dinner tomorrow night at 6;30, I will call and ask them to come pick me up because I should not be driving at night.

I am sorry for the long post.
Thank you for reading along with me.
bizi

[Dmom3005]

Bizi

Please get a hold of your doctor tomorrow too. I'm so sorry about Jeff's mom. But its so hard when mom's have health issues and get older.

[bizi]

Thanks donna,
I wanted to so badly be off of lithium....it is a very expensive decision.
Being by myself is not good.
Carol thinks I should go to the hospital.
I am on the fence.....
bizi

[mymorgy]

you do sound more grounded. if you don't feel safe, please go to the hospital
love you
bobby

[bizi]

Thank you
I am over whelmed right now. Jeff is gone till sunday.
slept good last night.
I believe I have developed a dependancey on jeff and am not functioning well by myself.
My friend told me to write down what is going on and to call my pdoc.
This is called a dysphoric mania...not fun.
I just talked to my pdocs nurse charmaine (she called me, tegretol levels are still too low)
and told her how unwell I was.
I discovered she was on vacation flying back.
my tegretol level was still not high enough for a therapuetic dose for some reason.
So she increased the dose in the morning. to 800mg twice a day.
I told her that I could not continue like this.
Felt like vraylar or haldol was needed for acute mania.
I am supposed to have lunch with a friend in 2 hours.
am waiting a call back from charmaine with Dr. Orazio instructions.
I have a bag packed with 3 days clothes and stuff.
It sounds like we are going to increase some meds.....so that is good.
jeff texted and they are just heading out to see their mom whose heart rate is
better and she can nod her head, still on the ventilator and in ICU.

I just asked jeff if he was mad at me? no answer....
sigh
hoping that Dr. Orazio will prescribe something for me.
bizi

[mymorgy]

I hope the increase in meds help big time!
love
bobby

[bizi]

Heard back...:Increase the tegretol to 800mg twice a day.
Lunch was good jalepino pepper chicken with brocolli and grilled pineapple and stir fried noodles it was all very good.
I am having some side effects. my right hand is slipping a bit. Like off the keys and I type wrong, it happens mostly on my right hand but sometimes on my left hand as well.
sigh
bizi who is dizzy from that much tegretol

[mymorgy]

how long has that bee happening?
love
bobby