I'll answer quickly, but then I really need to go and start my day.

JOURNAL UPDATE-------

(This morning's update is that I slept until 1pm and I don't even go to bed that late either!! So, off to a bad start, IMO. Don't get to spend as much time on the internet this morning...although maybe that's a good thing. Lol)

CONTINUED ANSWER--------

So, when I was fasting, I couldn't sleep as well or for as long because I was too hungry or I just didn't need it (apparently you need less sleep when fasting, or so I've heard). It worked in that I was able to jump start weight loss again after struggling so much. But I got my period and stopped and tried starting again, but then I got sick and blah blah blah, haven't exactly done it again since.

Exercise can be an excellent mood booster as well as help with sleep quality and quantity (if needed). Unfortunately when I was in my anxious state a few years back, I began to worry about injuring myself during workouts (ie falling off the treadmill or dropping weights on my toes or I dunno. You get the picture). Then I got depressed and was already out of practice and just could not get much motivation to work out. Finally after lots of "encouragement" and the right interests I was having at the time (yoga, flexibility challenges) I decided I could start with that, some floor exercises where I could basically sit on my *** or stand with little or less intensity and still burn some calories, maintain strength and get back to being flexible again like I was in my "prime" years (I quote prime because while I was fit in some ways, I think I'm more fit now in other ways...like strength or at least healthier strength practices). Yeah, think that sums it up!

Well, I overslept and was still tired but probably needed it because I guess I didn't sleep until after 2:30am...that's kinda late. And fingernail picking was keeping me up. Sigh! and I think I had some unpleasant dreams, but I must be repressing them because I only get glimpses and negative feelings. :/ Going to try to make the most of today though!


wanted to see the kitties again today and watch Lucifer. Looks like I'm not going to get time. :/

This might not make a lot of sense because I'm copying and pasting different thoughts throughout the day and distracted as I compile all this. oops!

google excoriation disorder....
bizi

Bizi-
Eek! No, not just excoriation disorder, but the path it led me down to severe paronychia. (the images) While I think I've had paronychia in the past, lately I've only had the inflammation or swelling (no buildup or extreme pain/no infection) and it's already healing. Anyway, the images are gross...especially on an empty stomach this morning!! Thing is, while yes, I do pick at cuticles sometimes, I have more of this disorder-onychotillomania. It's similar to nail biting, only I use other fingernails to pick at the nails... (not sure how detailed we're allowed to get). Anyway, unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be as much information about this as other similar types of OCD like behaviors. :/ Digging a little deeper now. ;)

Oh! I forgot I was digging. Well, I really didn't get much farther. Like I said, it's not very common. I'm on another forum and they don't let me talk about it in detail as they consider it self harm, but it's more of a compulsion to fix not harm in my case. I think the hair twirling bit might actually be more harmful than the nail stuff as the friction might be what's causing sores...but they didn't edit that. Anyway, I'd never had known there was even a name for this had I not made that mistake though. I was better with it since that night though. It's weird why it happens though. I don't think I was particularly anxious or anything that night...maybe I should try to find an appropriate forum on this site for this discussion, but so far I haven't gotten much feedback since it is rare.
Speaking of excoriation, I thought it wasn't as much a problem, but maybe it is! I noticed just as soon as I finished typing that last post I was the cuticles again. :/

Anyway,

Not a very eventful day.

Woke up early but took a nap. Made and ate lunch, but it wasn't enough for dinner...but I wanted to go visit the kitties and watch Lucifer on Netflix, so I did. Then had to scrounge together something for dinner. Hopefully it won't make me sick cuz it was leftovers. I feel ok at the moment. I really hope we can get pizza tomorrow and at my favorite place! I'm crazy craving it!!

Mood: okay

Yoga can be great. I worked for me for a long time until it didn't.

I've not done a fast but I limit my food to the late afternoon / evening.




M

Well, I guess I must just be enjoying life too much right now to be up to posting much. Lol Good right? I'm super excited about this new (newly discovered) show I started looking into the day before yesterday and watching it last night. I was afraid it might scare me, and it still might later on, but im super curious about it. I really enjoy one of the actors in it. And there's still another show i need to finish, but i ended the season I was on, so I figure it's a decent breaking point. All of this I have to watch at my parents place because I don't have Netflix, so I basically get another week to enjoy this until they return and take back their tv. I'm also enjoying the company of their kitties ("my" kitties I say because I adore them like they're my own). They've 2 baby boys, Graybee and Blackie (not real names). One is very shy, Blackie, but he comes around for special treats lol and occasionally let's me pet him till he purrs. And then there is Graybee, the extrovert. Lol He's super affectionate and my pal.

What else? We cooked a special meal tonight which was very tasty, and I finally got my pizza yesterday. Pretty good weekend I'd say. So I'm gonna share my good vibes with all of you now.

Hugs

my picking gets worse when I am hypomanic.
Do you normally live alone?
bizi

Hmm interesting. I'm picking right now and it's annoying as he'll but so are my jagged nails! Not sure I'm hypo though. But I'm not really anxious either...or maybe I am.

No, don't live alone. I'm married. :) not sure where I said it but yesterday hubby told me to stop twirling. Maybe I didn't say it was him. Anyway, surprised he noticed. Maybe he'll some day understand why I wanna cut my hair...at least trim 2 or so inches. :P ...he might never notice the nails, although I'm kinda surprised since I was making noise in the quiet bed that one night. Hmm

Did I get that right?
You have to ask to get your hair cut?
bizi