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08-12-2020, 08:33 AM
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#2 | |||
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Wisest Elder Ever
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could be hypomania.... tell me more. bizi
__________________
. Hattie the black and white one wrestling with hazel, calico. lost hattie to cancer..... Happiness is a decision.... 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF. 3-19-13=156, 6-7-13=139, 8-19-13=149, 11-12-13=140, 6-28-14=157, 7-24-14=149, 9-24-14=144, 1-12-15=164, 2-28-15=149, 4-21-15=143, 6-26-15=138.5, 7-22-15=146, 8-24-15=151, 9-15-15=145, 11-1-15=137, 11-29-15=143, 1-4-16=152, 1-26-16=144, 2-24-16=150, 8-15-16=163, 1-4-17=169, 9-20-17=174, 11-17-17=185.6, 3-22-18=167.9, 8-31-18= 176.3, 3-6-19=190.8 5-30-20=176, 1-4-21=202, 10-4-21= 200.8,12-10-21=186, 3-26-22=180.3, 7-30-22=188, 10-15-22=180.9, |
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08-13-2020, 10:22 AM
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#3 | ||
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Member
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Oh boy! So weird! Well, I mean, I actually went back to sleep that day,...
But today. I mean, I don't even want to figure out the hours and drag myself down, but I slept at 3am, woke at like Idek 5a? Then slept again from 6:30 to like 8:30am and I'm up now, wide awake! Ready to start the day. Woo hoo! I don't know what else. Oh, just overly enthusiastic about this band/musicians stuff. Also, I heard from my "lil" bro last night and that just increased my excitement (he just ...just one of my favorite persons. We always have a blast!) TMI??? v (but it's my honest thoughts and feelings right now) But I don't know if this is any kind of hypomania or just summer or what. I mean, everyone (it seems) keep convincing me that I don't experience hypomania, because I'm not reckless with money or do drugs or ...well, actually the "passion" stuff was on fire last night, if I'm being completely frank. I mean, it was me. Doesn't help that I'm getting all pumped up by this celebrity crush thing, but is it only that??? I mean... I mean, is it? This did happen one other time, with a different crush... I kinda feel bad that I'm having these crushes in my married life, but at the same time, I don't feel guilty at all anymore. I feel guilty that I don't feel guilty. I feel I kinda need this external stimuli, to be completely honest... gah! I swore to myself I wasn't going to share that, but it is what it is. I need to paint this picture in full, especially since this is maybe one of the first times I've felt this way since knowing you folks (??) I mean, like really in the thick of it. I've had euphoria while on PC, but never this intensity. The difference is, this intensity is like only mental right now. Yesterday, it was physical agitation too... the "passion" kinda relieved that. Wow! Was that ever amazing! (Sorry if tmi) |
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08-13-2020, 10:42 AM
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#4 | ||
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P.s. folks, I do try to read your journals when I can. I have lately. But I can't "thank" them always or now, because I gotta hop off. Love and hugs to you all!
*group hug |
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08-13-2020, 11:39 PM
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#5 | |||
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Wisest Elder Ever
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when You have time you can get back to the threads, we understand, just keep posting. we are listening.
bizi
__________________
. Hattie the black and white one wrestling with hazel, calico. lost hattie to cancer..... Happiness is a decision.... 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF. 3-19-13=156, 6-7-13=139, 8-19-13=149, 11-12-13=140, 6-28-14=157, 7-24-14=149, 9-24-14=144, 1-12-15=164, 2-28-15=149, 4-21-15=143, 6-26-15=138.5, 7-22-15=146, 8-24-15=151, 9-15-15=145, 11-1-15=137, 11-29-15=143, 1-4-16=152, 1-26-16=144, 2-24-16=150, 8-15-16=163, 1-4-17=169, 9-20-17=174, 11-17-17=185.6, 3-22-18=167.9, 8-31-18= 176.3, 3-6-19=190.8 5-30-20=176, 1-4-21=202, 10-4-21= 200.8,12-10-21=186, 3-26-22=180.3, 7-30-22=188, 10-15-22=180.9, |
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08-18-2020, 11:01 PM
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#6 | ||
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Member
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Hey folks!
Sorry it's been awhile. I meant to come on Monday?? or was it last Monday?? but the soap opera didn't air that day, and things have just been sorta nutso ever since! Tonight, I come here in a bit of a bad way. I'm not depressed, but I'm feeling really like down (don't know how else to describe it) about some recent events. I'm feeling like guilt and fear and a bit of anxiety...It's really hard to explain. But ok, here are some facts 1) I think I only slept 4 hours last night (4a-8a) I took like a 15-20 minute nap this afternoon. But other than that, I felt as though I slept 10 hours! I just feel really good, in that sense. 2) was hypers*xual. Just feeling really "on" all day. (probably doesn't help that I watched a live concert of my crush, but he wasn't even being s*xual, per se. I just find him so desirable, it doesn't matter much what he does) Sigh! I still have fun with H though too. 3) I behaved in today in a way that I didn't think I should be doing...basically, I opened up to the wrong people. I felt it wrong before doing it, but I did it anyway. I'm getting that thrill of risky behavior, but I still remember an awful time when my behavior got me into trouble in the past (again though, not reckless driving or spending, so I don't know if it's considered bipolar?? Frankly, it's not something I care to open up about to my doctor either.  )Still, all of this said, I'm hoping that today was eye opening for me and that my fear kinda keeps me in check. I came here tonight to maybe get some support and encouragement in this. I don't want to say specifics, just that I'm struggling with control here... so yea, a bit bummed. I feel like I have to censor myself, and that's ...well, i just feel ashamed like that it's come to that, and I'm kinda afraid to make a move at all with that particular crowd...i dunno! Guess, trying to get distracted. Ha! Well, the internet going out this evening for like an hour kinda helped that some. But it is nervewrecking, because that's very important for H's job. Anyway, I didn't intend to write all of this. I hope I didn't blab too much here too that I'll regret later. :'( |
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