[GeeLuv]

Still waiting for it to be less pandemic friendly before I experiment with meds...

Unfortunately, today I come with another issue. I'm internet addicted again, specifically social media/Twitter in my case. I find myself needing to check in first thing every morning and last thing b4 bed. Checking in with friends is one thing, but there is just waaay too much info to get sucked in to there.
And the problem is, it's not just habit. There's an emotional attachment. I don't do it, I get depressed, and yet I do it now, and feel somewhat guilty that I can't control myself/lose time.

I do, however, HAVE to pride myself on sleeping earlier last night. Still not ideal by others standards or even mine (cuz I wanted to do it the day b4 to go even earlier last night, but didn't ), but it IS an improvement. And I know me. I MUST celebrate even the smallest improvements.

That said, I'm at war in my own head. I can't get down on myself, but I have also noticed that due to that (and maybe in addition to the meds), I'm like allowing myself more indulgences. Like telling myself, "it's ok" or "just this once"... I can't think of a more specific example, but it really sucks that this is so hard!! And I find myself sleeping/being totally exhausted by the never ending fights! 😢

So, I dunno! I'm sad today.