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02-25-2020, 06:36 PM | #1 | ||
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Well, my diagnosis is unspecified bipolar, so it's not technically bipolar, but I've had some experience with clinically recognized elevated moods. My full history of treatment can be read next, but if you just want to see how I'm doing today, you can skip all that and read today's update here, since there doesn't seem to be a group check-in here as of yet. Thanks for reading!
History--- So, I was started truly digging into my problems end of 2016 with therapy. It was recommended that I do see someone who could prescribe meds though because I had gotten to a point of extreme anxiety and depression and couldn't even productively get through a session. So I saw an NP at first. We tried antidepressant and an anti anxiety med for my symptoms. I was doing better and continued therapy. At some point though, I was suggested to try a medicine for ADHD. I remember having poor concentration, and just the way I spoke to my therapist, she had thought ADHD (I was thinking bipolar2). Anyway, so we tried Intuniv. It made me really uncomfortable. I was desperately needing to shake my legs to calm my restlessness to no avail and I had spent the entire night awake with racing thoughts. I was so very tired and yet I couldn't sleep. I was very concerned. I honestly can't remember the details, but I took myself off of that, but I was still very much concerned there was something more to my moods. And I was gathering all of my possible life experiences for my therapist and my NP. The NP saw me in my "manic" state. I mean, I can even recall saying something about how nice she was and very caring in like a super excitable voice like, "oh, you know, you are really nice and cool and stuff!" She gave me the diagnosis of bipolar and we tried Latuda to help with sleep. I liked that, except I had to take it right before bed because it knocked me right out and mostly the problem was the expense. So we tried something else. But around that time, the NP was beginning to think I wasn't suffering from bipolar, I mean maybe yes, but maybe it was something else, like borderline maybe, so she got me an actual pdoc. Meanwhile, I was going through the process of getting ready for a psych evaluation next door. It took them months to finally get me in. And at that point I was diagnosed with G AD, traits of dependant personality disorder, and "unspecified bipolar currently presenting with a depressed episode". Yes, because at that point, I was dropping. Anyway, basically, unspecified bipolar means it's not bipolar but one experiences clinically recognized elevated moods. So I've been back and forth wondering what exactly this means for me and have been posting in both the depression and bipolar forums now. I had gotten off of my mood stabilizer, which was Abilify after the Latuda, end of last Spring, because I wasn't feeling anything really with it, just conti used depression and my depression was being made worse by the weight I was gaining. So I got off that. Have been doing better ever since. Oh, and I subsequently quit both therapy and psychiatry and my GP took over prescribing my AD and Clonazepam (anti anxiety med) But then this year, I had a couple of times, once a month, where my mood would elevate. So I was trying to see if others had experienced similar things as me. I then started to actually feel what I think normal would feel like... the past few days, my mood had been dropping again... Today's update--- Today my mood is getting back to my "normal". So, I observed that it took me 3.5hours with no breaks to go through most of my regular online routine this morning. That's crazy! And that doesn't even include FB or a couple of other forums (although they don't update as much). So, to counter this, I decided to try to stay offline for that same amount of time. Well, I think I did pretty good. Not quite 3.5, but 3 hours is still good. My prior record was 2hrs (while awake and not on vacation), so there's improvement. Still haven't managed to get 3 hours of work in yet though. (cooking doesn't count), um, but I've got a few other things I could still do today...if cooking doesn't take up the rest of my time. geez! it just might!...Well, my self imposed lunch break is about over, so I have to stop writing now. |
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"Thanks for this!" says: |
02-25-2020, 10:25 PM | #2 | |||
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Wisest Elder Ever
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I was actually able to read thru your post.
thanks for sharing..... I am dealing with my own mania at the time being. I am sorry I can't be more supportive of you. others will come along...like I said this is a quiet forum. ((((((hugs)))))) bizi
__________________
. Hattie the black and white one wrestling with hazel, calico. lost hattie to cancer..... Happiness is a decision.... 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF. 3-19-13=156, 6-7-13=139, 8-19-13=149, 11-12-13=140, 6-28-14=157, 7-24-14=149, 9-24-14=144, 1-12-15=164, 2-28-15=149, 4-21-15=143, 6-26-15=138.5, 7-22-15=146, 8-24-15=151, 9-15-15=145, 11-1-15=137, 11-29-15=143, 1-4-16=152, 1-26-16=144, 2-24-16=150, 8-15-16=163, 1-4-17=169, 9-20-17=174, 11-17-17=185.6, 3-22-18=167.9, 8-31-18= 176.3, 3-6-19=190.8 5-30-20=176, 1-4-21=202, 10-4-21= 200.8,12-10-21=186, 3-26-22=180.3, 7-30-22=188, 10-15-22=180.9, |
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"Thanks for this!" says: |
02-26-2020, 08:49 PM | #3 | |||
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((((((((((( hugs ))))))))))
I'm not feeling very chatty, I hope others have more to add Do you like cooking? What are your hobbies aside from being online? I like music, reading, other stuff... |
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02-26-2020, 08:53 PM | #4 | |||
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Quote:
(((((((((((( hugs ))))))))))))))) |
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02-26-2020, 09:37 PM | #5 | ||
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But I like music too. Um, knit and crochet, reading-If it peaks my interest ( so not a lot) and...yeah I don't really know because I feel like I suck at everything or it gives me a pain. :/ Maybe writing...writing letters to people. Oh, I like tv and movies! |
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02-27-2020, 01:49 AM | #6 | ||
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Was posting this earlier and got distracted.
So I had a pretty good day too! Got stuff done and then went to visit "my" kitties. (Oh they're so cute and my buddy, "Graybee" was like cuddling with me on my coat while we watched Netflix. Then I came home and cooked and now I just finished eating. Yummy! Also, watching Nancy Drew right now, a favorite show. |
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02-27-2020, 11:38 AM | #7 | |||
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Wisest Elder Ever
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Kittys are such a comfort!
bizi
__________________
. Hattie the black and white one wrestling with hazel, calico. lost hattie to cancer..... Happiness is a decision.... 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF. 3-19-13=156, 6-7-13=139, 8-19-13=149, 11-12-13=140, 6-28-14=157, 7-24-14=149, 9-24-14=144, 1-12-15=164, 2-28-15=149, 4-21-15=143, 6-26-15=138.5, 7-22-15=146, 8-24-15=151, 9-15-15=145, 11-1-15=137, 11-29-15=143, 1-4-16=152, 1-26-16=144, 2-24-16=150, 8-15-16=163, 1-4-17=169, 9-20-17=174, 11-17-17=185.6, 3-22-18=167.9, 8-31-18= 176.3, 3-6-19=190.8 5-30-20=176, 1-4-21=202, 10-4-21= 200.8,12-10-21=186, 3-26-22=180.3, 7-30-22=188, 10-15-22=180.9, |
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02-27-2020, 02:49 PM | #9 | ||
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Honestly, I've had some elevated moods in the past couple of months, but most of it is positive. I have been productive and haven't been sleeping all day and feel happy and confident...the only issues are when I don't sleep as much as I need and these are typically due to racing thoughts, anxiety, and possibly just from being online too much. I've been taking measures to help with that though. The honestly part is that I'm not sure if these current mood elevations are high enough to even be considered as even hypomania. I've been talking to a lot of folks with unipolar depression and they can experience similar sounding highs, especially after being depressed for so long and/or if incorporating dieting (fasting) or increased exercise into the mix. So, I don't know. But I've gotten much support on my issues from the bipolar community over the past few years that I am posting here (as well as in the depression forums). Hope you can understand that.
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