[pink kitty]

Thank you bobby
I've been questioning a few things lately, a diagnosis of ''depression'' which the providers gave me but only prescribed meds, to which I am now allergic. A couple of knowledgeable, close friends have said they are (almost) sure I have CPTSD, I may have a form of bipolar. (not bipolar 1 ) I don't agree with a diagnosis a therapist gave me (it was due to my ''avoiding'' certain things, but I do not think I fit the criteria for ''Avpd''....(avoidant personality..) I am not ''inflexible''..., for one thing... and I don't feel ''intrinsically inferior'' whatever that is I did not trust this therapist and he didn't help with my anxiety (which he said was ''destructive'' to the therapy...) He gave me a lot of judgment and not much empathy. He was not a good fit for me. I must have been quite naive to put up with him for so long. Also he encouraged an ''intense transference'' which it took a long time to ''work through'', if I think back (and since I saw him for so long it's hard to never think of him at all) I would probably now terminate the therapy after the first couple of mean things he said. (the me I am now, the me I was then put up with the abuse, as abuse was what I was used to..) Maybe some people can work with a judgmental, harsh therapist, but I am not one of them, since my parents were the same.....

I hope this isn't ''tmi'' Maybe someone reading can relate to some of this. I do know that most therapists, particularly in the USA, are good people and genuinely want to help

Another thing, he didn't refer me on to anyone else when he ended the therapy I did not do anything wrong.

I don't tell many people where I live, I can say I don't live in the USA though. I was wondering if anyone else here lives outside of the USA? Someone on another forum suggested I keep a mood chart. Has anyone found this helpful? I haven't had good experiences with medical professionals. I don't think its because of anything I've said or done, its due to the fact that things are at least 20 years behind in this area re help or support for mental illness and mental health issues... and a chronic shortage of funding for MH issues. I don't like talking about this stuff but it gives a bit of background. They only usually offer help for very short term issues or if someone is in a severe crisis. And even then, to me it isn't helpful.

I also don't give out my age lol. Because of this people online have made all sorts of speculations re my age, speculations have varied from 20 to 103

I'm married to a wonderful man (I have a pet name for him but won't post it here )

I love music, reading, art, flowers, wild animals and more

I'm trying to build more fun/positive things into each day, and I am also working on healthy boundaries, not letting things which hurt me and/or trigger me in to cause me distress. This is one of the skills the family of origin did not teach me. They were malignant Narcissists and I was ...... their only child and was, to be honest, emotionally neglected and abused.

I hope everyone is having a good day (or at least a tolerable one)

I'm listening to ''New kid in town'' by The Eagles Papa (my husband) and I saw The Eagles and Mark Knopfler in concert last year

Thank you for making me feel welcome here