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Old 05-02-2020, 04:59 AM #1
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Hi. Why don't you tell us more about yourself. It seems as if you want to be more active and that is really neat! We are a great group.I humbly say.
take care,
bobby
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Old 05-02-2020, 02:56 PM #2
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Thank you bobby
I've been questioning a few things lately, a diagnosis of ''depression'' which the providers gave me but only prescribed meds, to which I am now allergic. A couple of knowledgeable, close friends have said they are (almost) sure I have CPTSD, I may have a form of bipolar. (not bipolar 1 ) I don't agree with a diagnosis a therapist gave me (it was due to my ''avoiding'' certain things, but I do not think I fit the criteria for ''Avpd''....(avoidant personality..) I am not ''inflexible''..., for one thing... and I don't feel ''intrinsically inferior'' whatever that is I did not trust this therapist and he didn't help with my anxiety (which he said was ''destructive'' to the therapy...) He gave me a lot of judgment and not much empathy. He was not a good fit for me. I must have been quite naive to put up with him for so long. Also he encouraged an ''intense transference'' which it took a long time to ''work through'', if I think back (and since I saw him for so long it's hard to never think of him at all) I would probably now terminate the therapy after the first couple of mean things he said. (the me I am now, the me I was then put up with the abuse, as abuse was what I was used to..) Maybe some people can work with a judgmental, harsh therapist, but I am not one of them, since my parents were the same.....

I hope this isn't ''tmi'' Maybe someone reading can relate to some of this. I do know that most therapists, particularly in the USA, are good people and genuinely want to help

Another thing, he didn't refer me on to anyone else when he ended the therapy I did not do anything wrong.

I don't tell many people where I live, I can say I don't live in the USA though. I was wondering if anyone else here lives outside of the USA? Someone on another forum suggested I keep a mood chart. Has anyone found this helpful? I haven't had good experiences with medical professionals. I don't think its because of anything I've said or done, its due to the fact that things are at least 20 years behind in this area re help or support for mental illness and mental health issues... and a chronic shortage of funding for MH issues. I don't like talking about this stuff but it gives a bit of background. They only usually offer help for very short term issues or if someone is in a severe crisis. And even then, to me it isn't helpful.

I also don't give out my age lol. Because of this people online have made all sorts of speculations re my age, speculations have varied from 20 to 103

I'm married to a wonderful man (I have a pet name for him but won't post it here )

I love music, reading, art, flowers, wild animals and more

I'm trying to build more fun/positive things into each day, and I am also working on healthy boundaries, not letting things which hurt me and/or trigger me in to cause me distress. This is one of the skills the family of origin did not teach me. They were malignant Narcissists and I was ...... their only child and was, to be honest, emotionally neglected and abused.

I hope everyone is having a good day (or at least a tolerable one)

I'm listening to ''New kid in town'' by The Eagles Papa (my husband) and I saw The Eagles and Mark Knopfler in concert last year

Thank you for making me feel welcome here

Last edited by pink kitty; 05-02-2020 at 03:21 PM. Reason: added something
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Old 05-02-2020, 04:12 PM #3
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I'm so sorry about your experience with that awful therapist, & for such a long time. I've had bad therapists, too. They do a lot of damage that lasts a long time. They should lose their licenses. And they make it harder for the good therapists to earn their client's trust. I am afraid to try therapy again. So I'm learning & repairing myself on my own. I guess many of us do that. God bless you & Hugs to you, Pink Kitty!!
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Old 05-02-2020, 04:24 PM #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Waking Light View Post
I'm so sorry about your experience with that awful therapist, & for such a long time. I've had bad therapists, too. They do a lot of damage that lasts a long time. They should lose their licenses. And they make it harder for the good therapists to earn their client's trust. I am afraid to try therapy again. So I'm learning & repairing myself on my own. I guess many of us do that. God bless you & Hugs to you, Pink Kitty!!
Thank you Waking Light! I'm sorry you also have had bad therapists. I think some of them really really suck with more ''complex cases'' and then blame the client for not making ''significant change''.... ugh. I agree with everything you have said. They really should lose their licenses when they are bad and do harm and damage. He said I was ''damaged''. Hisssss

Exactly right! The bad therapists make it harder for the good therapists to earn their clients' trust

I too am afraid to try therapy again

I'm learning and healing without therapy. I agree, there are probably many of us who do that. God bless you too and hugs to you Waking Light!
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Old 05-02-2020, 08:42 PM #5
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I was actually diagnosed with traits of DPD (dependent) myself, but I disagree about it. Well, I do depend on hubby for some things, but I don't like get upset or scared when he leaves for work, for instance. I also sometimes depend on my Mom for emotional support and also these forums...actually, my earlier post on my thread now has me thinking if my "dependence" is a personality disorder or just normal dependence when you go to somewhere/someone(s) like daily. Know what I mean?

Anyway, I'm sorry for both you and Waking Light for you bad therapists experiences. I haven't had experiences like that, luckily, but I have my own issues regarding therapy. (well, you know. )


hugs!!!
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Old 05-03-2020, 05:20 AM #6
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It sounds as if you really are on the right track! I am so happy for you that you have a great relationship with your husband. I had abusive parents too and here at seventy almost six I still so damaged by them although at the end my father became a hero to me. I think prayer is the only answer to he;p those feelings of being so damaged. You are blessed that your parents' affect haven't interfered with your relationship with your husband.
I am so pent up that I don't want to be anonymous . I feel there is an explosion inside of me/ I am sure you don't have that.
I loved that you really like wild animals/
what are your goals?
fondly
bobby
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Old 05-03-2020, 10:45 AM #7
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Hello, pink kitty.
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Originally Posted by pink kitty View Post
the me I am now, the me I was then put up with the abuse, as abuse was what I was used to
This says much. Would you say you have gained insights since that time?
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Old 05-04-2020, 02:44 PM #8
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Hello, pink kitty.

This says much. Would you say you have gained insights since that time?
I have gained insights since that time!

Goals, I'll have to think about that...
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Old 10-25-2020, 12:58 AM #9
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Hi to Bizi and everyone here. I've been away for a while. I've been ok, just a bit busy and preoccupied.

Hugs!!
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Old 10-25-2020, 09:48 AM #10
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Trig trigger warning........

Trigger warning...........






























welcome back.
I wish we all had perfect child hoods, mine was just ordinary I suppose.
My brother was in his 30's when he shot himself. That shook up the family for a long time. my mom helped start up brain talks survivors of suicide for both sides of the coin, people who were suicidal and those who lost people to suicide, her name is alffe.

He has a son who is now in his 30's with a son who is 12 I think, not sure.
Nick my nephew is angry with his dad, saying I would never do that to his family.
anyway,
I have seen him a few years ago. briefly, he has 2 children by separate wives. they seem like great kids and he is a great dad.
He came to visit my folks twice while he was married this last time.
So my mom got to meet her great grand children.


anyway.Did you ever have children? Jeff and I never did.
I hope you have a good day.
and thanks for coming back!
((((((HUGS)))))))
bizi
__________________

.
Hattie the black and white one wrestling with hazel, calico. lost hattie to cancer.....
Happiness is a decision....

150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night


I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF. 3-19-13=156, 6-7-13=139, 8-19-13=149, 11-12-13=140, 6-28-14=157, 7-24-14=149, 9-24-14=144, 1-12-15=164, 2-28-15=149, 4-21-15=143, 6-26-15=138.5, 7-22-15=146, 8-24-15=151, 9-15-15=145, 11-1-15=137, 11-29-15=143, 1-4-16=152, 1-26-16=144, 2-24-16=150, 8-15-16=163, 1-4-17=169, 9-20-17=174, 11-17-17=185.6, 3-22-18=167.9, 8-31-18= 176.3, 3-6-19=190.8 5-30-20=176, 1-4-21=202, 10-4-21= 200.8,12-10-21=186, 3-26-22=180.3, 7-30-22=188, 10-15-22=180.9,
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