that is so great that you have taken care of a lot things. you must feel relief. zucchini is great. i steam it with water and butter and lemon and breadcrumbs.
my stomach was okay again. this morning i had the lemon juice and baking soda and in a few minutes i really went. somebody told me to see if it works for five days before i get excited. it could be a fluke.
i can't believe pudge. she is a lot more active and sitting on different things. yesterday she sat on the table that abby uses to get up on the bookcase. i think she did it on purpose. abby waited and waited and then jumped up anyways and avoided pudge on the way down. they have hardly ever interacted. pudge went on a chair and abby jumped on the same chair and then pudge started swatting her and abby jumped off. usually abby is the aggressive kitty.
the antidepressant hasn't kicked in yet.
love and kisses
bobby
also pudge has begun to sit on my computer chair and i hate to push her off

Sounds like Pudge wants you to see her having fun with Abby

I'm glad things are going so.well

i have been watching too much tv again and i am terrified and the antidepressant isn't working. i had a lovely time talking to aaron last evening. i asked him more questions about kant. he mentioned the book of five rings. i have read half of it.
today i talk to my therapist

how did therapy go?
bizi

he wants me to be happy and he doesn't seem to want to deal with my being the family scapegoat and that I am not friendly with my nephews so I feel all alone. He got excited when I mentioned my cats so we talked about them and he says he wants to hear more about them. He is happy about my volunteers.
He doesn't want to deal with my pain.
love
bobby

Bobby

I'm wondering if he doesn't know how to handle your being the family scapegoat.
Especially since there isn't much he can do but listen to you. Because other than your nephews there is no one else alive right?

Also you might want to remember until the covid came along I think you were tAlking with one of your nephews weren't you. And visiting some.

I don't know but maybe you can find some ways to get to know him.

Donna

my youngest nephew emails me pictures of his two sons. when myra was alive none of them contacted me. it caused me a lot of pain that for a few years alex lived ten blocks away from me and i didn't even know it. the oldest contacted me for a while because he wanted information on the family and if i could recognize some of the relatives. he called me when my sister died.
it is so very painful and i am so fragile. the middle one i was once in contact with him 25 years ago or so when the oldest got married.
they are all republicans but I read that the middle one had given money for obama.. two of them know that my friend is paying my rent and one is very rich, another is a millionaire and another might be a billionaire. my friend isn't wealthy. when i asked myra for help, she only gave me 300 dollars and she had a lot of money.
fondly
bobby
they don't give a sh#t that I have always been mentally ill.
when my mother ever needed something from when i was a very little girl, she always asked and would burden me and i would do it.

Hi Bobby & everybody. I've been fulfilling some small goals of my own. Yesterday I did some necessary shopping. I was thinking, Bobby, much of your depression is actually grief, & maybe that's why your antidepressant doesn't work sometimes. Can you find an online grief support group that you could join? They would be able to understand your feelings a lot better, & you could help them, too, which might be uplifting, in addition to feeling understood. Tell the kitties hi for me! And I hope you have a happy & pain-free weekend!

you are really getting things done. great.
as you suggested i looked up some grief forums but they didn't suit. i also looked up some scapegoating ones. you are so right a lot of my depression and pain are from events and not bipolar.one of my psychiatrists said if i had a different family my bipolar wouldn't have been so bad.
love and kisses
bobby

lately i feel a lot of bipolar rage. I can never forget when my mother said let the state take care of me.
Rabbi Shneur Zalman of Liadi interprets the parallel between anger and idol worship stems from the feelings of the one who has become angry typically coincides with a disregard of Divine Providence – whatever had caused the anger was ultimately ordained from God – through coming to anger one thereby denies the hand of God in one's life.[13]

(((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))
love bizi