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Old 07-25-2020, 11:29 AM #131
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Bobby

I'm so sorry your mother said that. I wish I had some words that would help but I don't. I think the only thing that helps with that kind of thing is to.talk it through.

I'm sorry your therapist won't help you.through that
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Old 07-25-2020, 11:44 AM #132
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thank you so much. I am going to try harder with the therapist to say I need to talk through the issues which will help me a lot more than talking about my cats. Then I upset myself further when I read about idol worship and not accepting
Divine Providence.
a rabbi intern is calling me in two weeks and i will ask her.
fondly
bobby
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Old 07-25-2020, 12:34 PM #133
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Take care Bobby! Hugs & love to you!!
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Old 07-26-2020, 06:01 AM #134
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thank you so much. I did a lot of thinking last night and focused on everybody is
flawed. There is research that says that some people are born with kind genes and some are born with selfish genes. I found that fascinating. The selfish ones have to be trained to be kind.
I think I should focus on to try to be a better person and selfishly feel lucky that I have it so much better than most of the people in the world.
In the afternoon I had a half a bottle of wine. that didn't help my depression. I guess that was a Godsend.
love and kisses
bobby

i just finished a book by a new author. i like her so i downloaded some of her books on kindle. i am really going to try to stop my spending spree on clothes.
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Old 07-26-2020, 06:44 AM #135
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what a mess. i tipped over a cup which i am going to throw out.my telephone got wet and now both telephones are giving a busy signal.

they are working now. i ordered a new phone and 15 foot extension cord.

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Old 07-26-2020, 09:33 AM #136
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Hi, Bobby, I'm sorry about your phone. I had a similar accident & ended up having to get a new phone. You sure are a soul searcher, very analytical & introspective. I do some of that myself sometimes. It's wonderful that you love to read & get so much enjoyment from it. I hope you have a really nice day today Bobby! Hugs & love to you!
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Old 07-26-2020, 11:26 AM #137
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I am glad that you found a new author that you like. I am reading a story called the the circus and it is good but I fall asleep right after
I start reading it. so it is taking forever to finish it. I really like it.
magicians with special powers.
have a good day bobby. (((((HUGS))))
love bizi
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Hattie the black and white one wrestling with hazel, calico. lost hattie to cancer.....
Happiness is a decision....

150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night


I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF. 3-19-13=156, 6-7-13=139, 8-19-13=149, 11-12-13=140, 6-28-14=157, 7-24-14=149, 9-24-14=144, 1-12-15=164, 2-28-15=149, 4-21-15=143, 6-26-15=138.5, 7-22-15=146, 8-24-15=151, 9-15-15=145, 11-1-15=137, 11-29-15=143, 1-4-16=152, 1-26-16=144, 2-24-16=150, 8-15-16=163, 1-4-17=169, 9-20-17=174, 11-17-17=185.6, 3-22-18=167.9, 8-31-18= 176.3, 3-6-19=190.8 5-30-20=176, 1-4-21=202, 10-4-21= 200.8,12-10-21=186, 3-26-22=180.3, 7-30-22=188, 10-15-22=180.9,
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Old 07-26-2020, 03:23 PM #138
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i took a bottle of magnesium citrate this morning and nothing happened. . i took another one two hours ago and I am so scared. i hope i go. i just went only a little
It worked. I was obsessing that I would need surgery and that they could find cancer I was just so frightened. I never had problems until I started taking these medications. Now I think I also have IBS..

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Old 07-26-2020, 10:38 PM #139
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I take 500mg of colace 200mg in am 300mg in the pm.
I think it is working .......still struggle but no impactions so that is good.
I have always had bowel management issues since taking meds. I am not drinking enough water though and getting not any exercise. I really need to
see if my gym is open. But think that might be a bad idea. They have huge fans circulating the air so it is always cold in there. Planet fitness. But then again it could circulate the germs....yikes.
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Hattie the black and white one wrestling with hazel, calico. lost hattie to cancer.....
Happiness is a decision....

150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night


I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF. 3-19-13=156, 6-7-13=139, 8-19-13=149, 11-12-13=140, 6-28-14=157, 7-24-14=149, 9-24-14=144, 1-12-15=164, 2-28-15=149, 4-21-15=143, 6-26-15=138.5, 7-22-15=146, 8-24-15=151, 9-15-15=145, 11-1-15=137, 11-29-15=143, 1-4-16=152, 1-26-16=144, 2-24-16=150, 8-15-16=163, 1-4-17=169, 9-20-17=174, 11-17-17=185.6, 3-22-18=167.9, 8-31-18= 176.3, 3-6-19=190.8 5-30-20=176, 1-4-21=202, 10-4-21= 200.8,12-10-21=186, 3-26-22=180.3, 7-30-22=188, 10-15-22=180.9,
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Old 07-27-2020, 12:16 AM #140
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Hey Bobby!

I think you can still believe in Divine Providence and get angry or rage. It's what you do with that feeling that matters though. But again, we are also just human, so that is why we need forgiveness. We need to forgive ourselves too. *hugs*
p.s. I speak from experience. I've gotten into moods in the past where it feels nearly impossible or even painful to suppress my wanting to act out on my anger...but afterwards, I do feel bad and try to make up for it. I dunno. I hope it's enough!

Speaking of hope. eh hem. The new (but old) band/aritst I'm currently into has some powerful lyrics. One such lyric is about hope. "Spread hope like fire." It also goes on to say "spread love like violence." I think you might have to think a bit about the latter one. Seems kinda like very opposite things, but I guess the point is that negative things spread so much easier than positive ones...but we need to strive to spread the positive ones as much or more than the negative ones. Right??

(I'm so very obsessed. Sorry for rambling on!)
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