they wouldn't do that. thank God my antidepressant kicks in. I will take a few baths today. another volunteer called me yesterday. he was so nice. i think he is supposed to call me twice a week for a month. He was a runner. He said he built up after three years to run 70 miles a week! He just graduated graduate school.
love
bobby

i just ordered another fan.

Hi bobby! I hope the extra fan & wet towels help. And remember that this too shall pass. I wish you peace & comfort! Love to you!

Bobby

If they can't fix the electricity tomorrow please ask them to figure out a solution so you can cool down. Even if it's helping you get to an area that is cooler for the day. I'm really upset it's taken them three air conditioners to figure this out

my bipolar is really out of control. I have been panicking so much. Often I am terrified. robert was supposed to come over yesterday and I wrote him a note seeing if he was okay. He hasn't answered me so of course I think he caught the virus and is in the hospital or he had a heart attack. I always think the worse and since the virus it has gotten so much worse. I feel so old and helpless
I hope on Thursday when I speak to the doctor he can give me something for my panic attacks. I think I will call Robert at nine to see if i can reach him and see that he is okay. i am tormented.
yesterday marci was worth a trillion dollars. she found i had a big problem i didn't know about and she fixed it.. she also found the charger to my phone and to my kindles. i spent 15 minutes looking for them. i got three washable pretty masks. i don't know what i did with them but i am going to give her one.
last friday aaron my volunteer didn't call and i got so sad. i thought he found me too boring. i haven't told him i am bipolar. yesterday he called and profusely apologized. it was his second anniversary on friday. his wife is russian and is in russia and hasn't gotten her visa yet. he called me even though our dates are on wednesday and friday to explain what happened and that he would call me on wednesday and friday..he is so interesting, incredibly bright and unusual. he mentioned a book that sounded interesting so i ordered it.
today i am going to force myself to go to the bank with marci. i am so terrified of going out. it is so sick. i have only been out once.
bobby
i started overspending again.

thank you for reminding me. the fan, baths and towels do help.
love and kisses
bobby

robert still hasn't contacted me.

i did print both things down and have read them a lot . they are on my bed.
they do help. last night i had two anxiety dreams. i am so terrified about the virus and i haven't received my lease yet. as i wrote i only left my apartment once. my stomach is really acting up. my kitty cats are so wonderful and the ac is fantastic.
there is another movie on you tube i want to watch. yesterday i read a delightful book.
fondly
bobby

me too. just emailed the receipt for 932 to management. got a super fast response that i should receive the reimbursement in about ten days. robert came over and set up my printer so that it will be easy to scan. he is a genius.
i hope i can continue talking to aaron.. he is so nice. aleya calls me every friday night. she is so special.
fondly
bobby

thank you so much. I did a lot of thinking last night and focused on everybody is
flawed. There is research that says that some people are born with kind genes and some are born with selfish genes. I found that fascinating. The selfish ones have to be trained to be kind.
I think I should focus on to try to be a better person and selfishly feel lucky that I have it so much better than most of the people in the world.
In the afternoon I had a half a bottle of wine. that didn't help my depression. I guess that was a Godsend.
love and kisses
bobby

i just finished a book by a new author. i like her so i downloaded some of her books on kindle. i am really going to try to stop my spending spree on clothes.