[bizi]

thank you bobby,
I have been having a bm daily but strain for that.
I drank too much this evening 5 trulys lemonaide flavored seltzers.


gettting ready for bed.
bizi

[bizi]

I don't even know how many drinks I have had today.7 maybe.
maybe more.
I have been in a funk...I guess you would call this depressive state,
Which is so out of my natural state.
I don't usually get depressed.
My new clothes came in extra large

sigh
they are big on me but comfortable.
I ordered at least 7 new items from a catalog

5 came in yesterday.
I think a couple of more are due to come in.
I like the brite orange rust color top is pretty,
I don't have any other tops this color.
bizi

[mymorgy]

do you think you need a change in your prescriptions? I am very worried.
love
bobby

[mymorgy]

you have written that Jeff and you have inherited a lot of money but I am curious how money do you spend on liquor.. can you start keeping a journal a to how much you spend?
I love you
bobby

[bizi]

I spend too much money on liquor. I go to fat pats almost daily and spend any where from$8-$16. The I buy trulys flavored hard lemonade. 12 oz cans 12 to a container, that costs $15. I will drink that in 3 days. so I am fully aware how much money I am spending.
Thanks for your love, love you too.

bizi

[Dmom3005]

Bizi

I don't have any clues as to how to help you. But I do think you need to figure out why you are depressed right now. Can you maybe
talk to your therapist. And if they aren't helpful with not throwing a fit about the drinking find someone else. You have to find
a solution to the depressive side first then maybe the drinking side.

Donna

[bizi]

I lie to my mental health team about how much I am drinking.
bizi

[mymorgy]

People who misuse alcohol are more likely to have bipolar disorder. Among people with bipolar disorder, the impact of drinking is noticeable. About 45 percentTrusted Source of people with bipolar disorder also have alcohol use disorder (AUD), according to a 2013 review..
my father was an alcoholic who stopped drinking in his sixties. he said it made him feel good. he suffered from depression and was probaBLY BIPOLAR 2.
i think jeff is wonderful but so unsupportive. can you call some of the free help lines and get support. do you suffer still from your brother's suicide?
love
bobby

[bizi]

I did not suffer long with my brothers suicide. My mom is the one who still suffers with micheals suicde so does my dad but they keep it to themselves.
He was a handsome man. He went on a trip with me because he did not want to see me traveling alone. I did not know that then I learned of that later. He taught me how to play chess. I was in nursing school when I found out about it. My instructor asked if I wanted to quit school and go back home I said no he would not have wanted me to drop out of school. So I just went home for a few days to go to the funeral. It was a closed casket but they let the family look at him it did not look like him. WE said our good byes.

He used a gun he was a parrole officer. He made very little money and she was wealthy, I think her name was jennifer.

He had just lost his girl friend, jennifer, she was moving to florida.Asked if he wanted to go. He said he could not up and go to florida. he had just put $800 of tires on his car, credit card. half a jug of whiskey was gone in the apartment when the chief of police found him dead in his apartment. he had to tell my dad...it was terrible.We helped clean up the apartment I took his old tv and his cockatiel bird Baby. I had baby several years and then he was dead one day so we(jeff and I) buried him along a creek that ran across Indiana university in bloomington IN. It was my last connection to micheal.
The tv is up in the attic, it still ran fine but I won a flat screen tv. and it was bigger and better picture. So that was that.
I feel better this evening, don't want to race to bed like I have been.I am still drinking heavily.
that you ladies for your support.
bizi

[mymorgy]

your brother sounded like such a kind soul.
love
bobby