Hi bobby,
I am sorry for your increased loneliness.
I can't imagine living alone although I did live a lone after nursing school.
I hear you suffering and it makes me feel very sorry for your pain.
I wish I could help you in some way.
(((((HUGS)))))
love Bizi

thanks so much bizi. after the holidays i will start taking three courses again. then a new pastoral intern will start calling me once a week. i have one therapist who calls once a week. i think i will also get a therapist intern who will be young. aaron is still calling me. it has been over a year and i think they are trying to get me an additional friendly volunteer to call me. i bought a lot of books whose author i love. of course i have marci on monday and tuesday.
i have my kitty cats. i seem to feel more and more isolated. i wish i didn't have all these stomach aches.
love
bobby

i have been having a low calorie ice cream with sucralose in it. i am stopping it. it is causing me more stomach problems. i don't know what to eat. i just started trying malox . I am reminding myself to try to forgive my family and let God take care of them.
love
bobby

Bobby

Good idea. I think you should let god take care of the family.

When it comes to eating foods, I don't know how to help you there.

Maybe find a different kind of ice cream that is good.

That you can eat maybe two or three times a week.

Donna

thanks so much. i have to keep on practicing about letting God take care of them and i will concentrate on forgiving them.
i can't have those artificial sweeteners. my stomach is too messed up as it is.
i have to try to stay away from sugar because of my diabetes. i read an article about how great coffee is for you, even if it instant. cheese is constipating.
i do order chinese food with brown rice.
love
bobby
haven't been depressed all day

just found out that my neighbor of over 50 years was found dead on monday
by her housekeeper. that was her second bout with cancer.

I found out that another of my clients died in july.
I went over there to see if she was there at her

house, her phone was not working. so I just went

over there to see if she was home. I presume her

son answered the door.
he told me she had passed away in july I was so

surprised by this news that I cried. and just simply
left.She had been in a car accident and was messed
up lived about a week after the crash and died finally

out of pain. I was very fond of her. miss joyce.
any way
love you.
bizi
It sounds as if you will have some callers calling

you in the near future, happy for you!!!!
love bizi

i can't fall asleep. I don't know why i am so shocked. she was the only person in this building that i would do things with before the virus. she was a very private woman an a year older than me. i didn't have anything to do with her when i moved in. she was an alcoholic and not friendly. she lived with twin who later went back to sweden. cecilia also smoked and then got throat cancer. she stopped drinking and smoking. she had been given a fifty fifty chance the first time.
this time she said she left me a message which i never got. she called me later and said they found a cancerous tumor in her lung and she went through so much chemo and radiation. marci saw her the beginning of last week and said she seemed fine. i before tried to email her and call her but she didn't call or write me back.
i just feel so sad. i am praying a lot for her and i will so miss her. there are 8 apartments on the floor and two of them are used as second homes. i am not friendly anymore with my next door neighbor who i helped a lot using the computer. when she got a printer finally she was superficially nice to me because she didn't need my help anymore.
a month or two ago i had gone to the dentist and came home and had trouble with my balance. i was on the floor and and she was in the hall i asked her if she would unlock my door, she said go downstairs and have the porter come up and do it. i repeated for her to unlock my door. she did and i got up and held on to my walker and asked her to open the door. she just opened it a little. then i said open more. she did. i guess she is heartless.

i haven't been able to sleep yet. this death feels so different. i just didn't stupidly expect it. may she finally rest in peace.
she had two little dogs. i think they went back to their breeder. i worry about my kitties.

i used to have thanksgiving with her and we used to watch the super bowl and tom brady. it was so nice. i just contacted the building management to change the contact to alice when i die. i don't dare telling zepnet because she will cut me off and tell how her sister has cancer and about a friend of hers had died from cancer. i am so fearful to tell stella because will make me really angry with her bizarre beliefs.