right now i have two and will talk to them tomorrow.
love
bobby

i am so anxious. i just scheduled an appointment to check my caratoid arteries. i had the stroke because they tried to put a stent in one after the stroke they found it was 99 clogged and couldn't do it. The next week i had major surgery and the artery was cut open and the plaque was removed.
i spoke with my super and he said he or eddie would check on my kitties if i had to be hospitalized.

Bobby

That is good that you have already worked it out to have someone check
on the kitties if you need them. I'm glad you have that done.

I kind of got confused, did you like Pudge's hair cut.

I have been having trouble getting back on thanks to my computer
not wanting to get a password for me.

But I'm back
Donna

good about the computer.
Pudge looks great and wasn't traumatized. I was thought. Never saw a groomer groom her. There was so much fur. She is now back to lying with me on the bed. That always happens right after she is groomed.
love
bobby

no stomach ache. what a relief. talked with my two therapists yesterday. They didn't help. i don't know what to expect from them. they are nice people.
i have gad

After panic disorder, GAD is the most common comorbid anxiety disorder in BD. People with GAD experience a constant state of excessive worry over everyday things—personal health, work, social interactions—most days for at least six months. The main symptoms include irritability, muscle tension, difficulty concentrating, sleep disturbances, being easily fatigued, and feeling restless or on edge.
Panic disorder is characterized by unexpected and repeated episodes of intense fear and occurs in about one in five individuals who have BD—more commonly in those with depressed and mixed states of bipolar. Physical symptoms include chest pain, heart palpitations, shortness of breath, dizziness, and stomach aches, and bipolar disorder can increase the likelihood of panic attacks.

By Krista Soriano

a lot of that describes what I go through. i don't have chest pains, heart palpitations or dizziness.

i have this from my explosion




PTSD can develop after experiencing a terrifying event, usually involving the occurrence or threat of serious physical harm. Symptoms include hypervigilance, hostility, mistrust in others, social isolation, flashbacks, insomnia, and nightmares. The link between PTSD and BD is unique because both manic and depressive episodes can sometimes be perceived as traumatic events (not to mention, having such episodes may even increase the risk of traumatic events), triggering more anxiety.

By Krista Soriano

maybe i can't be helped.

of course it is not your fault.
your bipolar is not your fault.
the explosion was not your fault.
I am sorry you are so afraid.
sorry that your therapists are not helpful to you.
Have you given them enough time to get to trust them, for you to open up to them.
It takes a long time to open up.
love bizi

i think i have opened up. the past couple of days i keep on thinking about a young man years ago. he had a brain tumor and his head had to be opened up. he was on the ceiling looking down an hearing the surgeon talking. he was pronounced legally dead. he went some place and was very bright. people came to him and hugged him and the whole place was filled with love. he said how wonderful it was. he knew he had to come back and said he never feared anything again. he was really pronounced legally dead.

had my booster. i slept four hours afterwards. a scam call from the netherlands work me up.
love
bobby

it is so hard to deal with chemicals that cause the depression. i think you just have to go through it. i am not sure about the anxiety.

This is insightful!tell me more.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

you mean that he came back from being legally dead? I had read about happening but i never believed it until he told me what happened to him. it was so fantastic that he used to be a bit fearful but after he went through that experience he no longer was fearful and di a lot more things. it is comforting isn't it?
i don't know how i did it but my a1c went down from 6.6 to 6.1. i am still on metformin and still very heavy and even more sedentary because of all the falls. my doctor didn't take off the drug now that i am just prediabetic. i still have half and half in my coffee.
love
bobby

rats. my nose is running and itchy. i never had allergies until i got the vaccine.. finally they went away. sure enough they are back after getting the booster. i don't think it is a coincidence. otherwise i am fine. as usual i was up most of the night.