so wise
bobby

I am really blessed to have bossy Marci whom I love as my aide twice a week. had to go the dentist. I might wind up having to pay over 1000 for a new lower bridge. It was so cold out and had to wait at least 15 minutes to get a cab. My legs were giving out even though I was resting on the walker and leaning over .Marci said early on why didn't I wait in the lobby and she would get one. I stupidly said no. I hate spending extra money. For the last 5 minutes I just wanted to sit in the avenue but I was afraid I might not be able to get up again.
After the visit was over, I had to wait ten minutes because I had no energy whatsoever.. Marci again asked if I should stay in the office and she would get a cab and said that it wouldn't that much extra. I quickly said yes because I felt it would be impossible for me to stand anymore. She came back again about 15 minutes with a cab.. RELIEF
I don't know that if the P.T is going to help.
My 28 year old volunteer whose mother is bipolar 2 and he is the only child called as he said he would. I told him again that he should not feel guilt about dealing with his mother. Again I told that even though he has a therapist, I was sure an older wise spiritual Rabbi could help him with his guilt and I asked my Rabbi intern if she knew of one. She said she would try to find one. Sam sounded responsive. We talked a lot and laughed a lot. At one point he really touched me. He said he was there for me.

can't believe it. my bipolar 2 really interfered at times with my grades in college. I was supposed to read the play Gas by Georg Kaiser. For the life of me I couldn't read it. What was even worse was I had class notes I had taken but couldn't review those either.. I knew the professor was going to test us on the play and it would count a lot for the grade. I was right and it has always bothered me that I had no control.
I just bought some plays by Kaiser and I am going to try again to see if I will allow myself to read Gas. weird. Really hard to be bipolar 2.

It is the holiday. really depressed. so hard being alone on holiday Spent money yesterday and today. Out of control.

Bobby, so sorry you are alone for a holiday and that you are depressed.
What happened to your neighbor that you were friendly with?
What do you do with other holidays?
I will be home until 2pm so that is another hour if you want to chat. here it is hard to chat because of the delay in posting.
We don't have a chat room anymore like we used to. wonder why?
love you bizi

Cecilia died of lung cancer in September. I miss her. I hadn't see her in over a year even though we lived on the same floor. She only wanted the young woman to enter to clean and usually take her dogs out. She was afraid of being exposed to the virus even after I got my booster. for the last half year of her life she didn't feel well. Finally towards the end they found out from xrays that she had lung cancer. We used to watch a lot of sports together. A lot of times she would surprise me with Taramisu. After she stopped drinking and survived her first bout of cancer she had when she had a fifty fifty chance of survival we became friends. I had told her sister who came in from Sweden that I was praying for her.. In the beginning we weren't friends and she said some nasty things to me that Robert never let me forget. A lot of times for the holidays, we would eat together.
I guess I will be alone for rest of the holidays. I know practically all the rest of world has it much worse than I do. Once my sister started having children because we never got along, my parents would spend holidays with her family.
The depression left. I was disappointed. I wanted Chinese food perversely but probably the only day of the year the takeout place was closed lol.
love
bobby
I have been playing with my kitties reading and listening to music. I just discovered recently Nadine Miller. really enjoy her.

atta girl glad that you found a new singer to like.
love bizi

she wrote regency historical romances. I have youtube premium and without interruption i can hear 11 hours of soft rock or Andrea Bocelli and
Leonard Cohen.
love
bobby

Bobby

I'm sorry you have no one to help you celebrate the holidays.

Donna

I'm sorry too.

Maybe you'll meet someone to spend the next one with though?