my mood has been all over the place and I am definitely hypomanic. I have been having mixed episodes. The first two weeks I started Geodon my mood was stable. I hope she raises the dosage. My medication really needs adjustment especially since more holidays are coming up. Finally I didn't have a stomach ache throughout the night.
I finally wrote Alice about being my health proxy. She wrote me back that she wants to find out more about and if you can avoid it. I want no life support. We will talk next week. I also have to ask her if she will take care of my burial. I left instructions in my will and already have a plot and want to be buried in the Orthodox tradition with a simple pine box coffin, just having my body washed and put in a shroud and no ceremony. I have the money and basically she would just have call the mortuary in West Hartford which would make all the arrangements.
Einstein said

April 18, 1955—Albert Einstein dies soon after a blood vessel bursts near his heart. When asked if he wanted to undergo surgery, Einstein refused, saying, "I want to go when I want to go. It is tasteless to prolong life artificially. I have done my share; it is time to go.

I have been reading a bit about Napoleon. Josephine was six years his elder. one of the words he said was Josephine.. He must have been fascinating. Interestingly he wasn't short and was average or above average for the French men of his time.
I think this one of the positive attributes of being bipolar. It gives me the intense energy to keep on learning different things instead of being just passive and just watching tv.
I finally counted all the money I had in my bag. Excluding a lot of ones I have over 400 dollars so happily that will definitely cover Xmas gifts to the staff and Marci.
There is a good chance I won't have to pay over 1000 dollars for a new lower denture. So far I have paid 199 to try to have the denture just repaired. I will find out on Tuesday.
I have been giving Aby a treat she loves every morning now. She is bent out of shape since Pudge is spending so much time on the bed.
I think I will make an exception and get Mongolian beef and egg drop soup again today. I don't have urge to buy anything else at last.

I called Dorot and s left a message I need help concerning a health proxy.
I looked over my will a little while ago and it looks like my doctor was listed as to not resuscitate me.
Yesterday I received a message that my favorite humble internist had cancelled my next appointment. I got terrified that he was leaving or something awful happened. I just found out that he is fine and not leaving and I will get a callback shortly to find out what happened and hopefully reschedule the appointment.

Bobby

I hope you can get your new med nurse practioneer to help you get
less hypemaniac, if that is the word. I would talk to her about the
issue. Also I'm glad you are talking to Alice about the other issues.
And she is willing to talk to you about it. That is a good next step.
Also the burial things since they are so straight forward, if she isn't
willing to do them, I would think dorct if I spelled it correctly can
help you figure out how to get that carried out for you.

I think you are doing pretty will for having a mind that is thinking to
fast. I hope the stomach problem stays away. Donna

I hope you can get your med adjusted to counter the mixed moods, but like Donna said, it sounds like you're doing a pretty good job managing. Stay strong!
Love, G

It is good to get things organized.
we really never know when our time is up.
love you
bizi

got hypo again. just spent over an hour trying to get my printer's scanner to work and I can believe how many mistakes I made trying to send my health proxy to Alice.ugh. I don't know what to do with it. it is witnessed.
aaron called last night. He is so bright, has a fantastic memory, and knows so much. I asked him if he knew Napoleon wasn't short for the Frenchman of his time. Not only did he knew but he said that the British started the rumor.
He didn't know that Josephine was six years older than Napoleon but he did say it was common in those days. I really love trivia and am still fascinated about the past. Weird I am not that interested in current gossip.
I am still shell shocked when Donna mentioned my being close to 80. Maybe I am in my second childhood.

Bobby

I don't think there is anything wrong with being in your second
childhood and living an adult life. Which just means your enjoying
this childhood, I don't think you did much in your first one. So enjoy
this one. Its because you are talking to so many fantastic people
that you feel that way.

You are acting like an adult in all other ways, so its good to feel like
a child at times, and enjoy it.

Donna

thank you so much. you are so right. i started being a caretaker when i was very little and then the scapegoat but did really enjoy tennis and reading.
love
bobby

nurse practitioner cancelled because of sickness. I told the woman who informed me that I wanted a higher dose of Geodon because it worked like a miracle the first two weeks and then didn't really help much.. The woman also said she wanted me to fax charlotte my ekg and i said i couldn't. i don't why but that really triggered anger.
i left charlotte a message saying my ekg always comes back abnormal and my heart beat is always fast but doctors aren't concerned and never prescribed heart medication. I am still angry. I wonder if because of that she won't try a higher dose. my next telephone appt is next friday at 11;30.
have to figure out how to get rid of my anger. rats. my good mood got evaporated.
she would have to see a series of ekgs, not one. I trust my heart doctor and internist and they have never been alarmed.

Under most clinical circumstances, however, ziprasidone may be safely used without ECG monitoring or other special precautions.

spoke with my wonderful internist. He said the EKG was abnormal because of a slightly high heart beat and nothing to worry about. Now to leave another message to the nurse practitioner. I am so stressed I might so the unthinkable and get more Mongolian Beef and egg drop source. My little stocks are really crashing. rats