Bobby, thanks for thinking about me and you too bizi. I'm not good at talking about myself really.

Cyclone (hurricane) to the north of me, cyclone to the south of me (now just terrible flooding) and I'm stuck here in a heatwave although a long way from both in reality lol. Humidity is through the roof. La Nina here and all these low pressure systems are hurting my bones and muscles.

Homebound at present due to the town being contaminated with youknowhat and all the nurses at the hosp are either in hospital or in isolation, so unable to venture out anywhere. . Very concerning really at the moment. I'm doing Ok I guess. Not my usual very optimistic self though that's for sure.
I just spent 5 hours transcribing something for my daughter who works in medical imagining. It was regarding artefacts that are seen on xrays. My brain is now fried and I can barely think.

i hope you have a great air conditioner. it sounds like another nightmare. how are sleeping and eating? I think and hope your daughter lives with you.
please say she does. my isolation in unbelievable.
That is a huge chunk of work you did for her. I know you are a kind, brilliant and gentle soul, I don't even know if you are bipolar. I don't know if you have any kitties or doggies. I don't even know what you do in your spare time. I know you are an angel who spreads great vibes.
fondly.
bobby

Thank you bobby. You are far too kind
I've got all but one of the aircons on and I'm having a rest up this afternoon so I'm running the dehumidifier settings.
I just made delicious fritters for lunch.

Zucchini Fritters

• 1 large grated Zucchini
• 4 small grated Carrots
• About a quarter of a grated Spanish Onion
• 3/4 cup frozen peas that I poured a cup of boiling water over and then drained a few mins later.
• pinch of curry powder and tumeric
• pinch of salt and ground pepper
• pinch of baking powder
• About a 1/2 or so cup of chick pea flour. I just winged it so no idea how much really. Just enough to make it all stick together. (it's great as it holds it all together just like an egg would but I don't eat eggs any more so use this)

Cook in a little amount of oil in a pan. You could probably bake them in the oven too but it was too hot to bother about the oven so just used a little olive oil in a pan on the stove top.

I don't usually use salt at all but put a tiny bit in the fritters today. I have RLS so it seems to activate it if I eat it later in the day.

I live with my daughter again these days. Just the two of us here. She was away at university for a long time but came back home to live with me. We get on very well. I don't have bipolar disorder. I have a great long list of other things though. Especially anxiety. Terrible depression during my teens and early 20s. Had a lot happen to me as a child. Lost parents young and so always been feeling very much on my own. Had to be resilient.

We've talked here on and off pretty much all the time since the forum here began. It's been a long, long time. Both my children are on Autism spectrum (Asperger's) and have had some challenges with tics and anxiety and a long list of pluses especially when young. They're both very smart intellectually but not as emotionally smart. I don't get lonely so I am quite happy to be isolated. I have too much to do here really. I spend a lot of my life working outside. I've struggled with that lately but amazingly I've been able to keep it all on track. (that actually means - I force myself until I can't do it any longer and then I need a few days to recover, and then like a fool I go do it all over again. lol )

We've always had pets. Cats mainly but they've all left us now. They all lived for over 20 years so they had very good lives. Oh, except for the little himalayian persian who sadly died still young. We've also kept chickens (hens) for many years now but just last year we had some tragedy with neighbouring dogs with caused a lot of post trauma stress, and we've not got any more.

I don't sleep well but a lot of that is because of the heat or the pain or the restless legs or the brain. Waking up and overthinking at 2am is something we all do at times I guess.

Thank you for your kind words, bobby.

oh wow. you have had to bear so much. you really are strong too. What do you do outside/? how often do you have to go to the hospital? I forgot how long it takes. what do you take for your anxiety and restless legs. do you still suffer from depression? I keep on thinking of pot. it is so frustrating to read how important sleep is for mental health and not be able to do it.
have you considered getting another little kitty? You know how soothing they are. do you read a lot? IF so what do you read. I don't use alcohol but do you use it to calm down?
The fritter sounds so delicious. do you also east meat? i love lamb but it is so expensive.
Fondly.
bobby

lara, thank you for sharing.
You have had to be brave for every one. I am glad that you enjoy working outside. but be careful do you have a safety net if you fall?you know one of those emergency call buttons.They make a kind that can go with you anywhere and uses gps to locate you. so it is good if you leave the house.
Perhaps you have heard of them, they may not be available there?
Do you carry your cell phone with you?
lots of love
bizi

To answer the questions. Sorry, so many, it's difficult to condense.
-- please don't worry about me. --
I'll be fine. I garden and mow a very large area of grass with a ride-on mower. I enjoy it very much. I don't enjoy the line trimmer anymore because it's so heavy. I wouldn't use an emergency button and I dislike phones so no, don't carry one around.

These days I live in a cycle. I'm out of action for 7 to 10 days after my infusion pretty much. Sometimes it's less. Depends. Then I get active again until the next one if I can. I do have to spend lot of time resting now though. The Pembrolizumab/Keytruda that they are treating me with is very hard on the body but it's saved my life, so what do you do? This Pembro has a very long list of potential side effects so I have a lot of them and it's natural to get "down" and anxious with all that is going on. I refuse all hints of medications or allied health professionals etc that are sent my way at the hospital.

I don't usually take any medications if I can help it.

Now of course I have my infusions every 3 weeks. That's been for 2 years now.
I don't take anything specifically for RLS except Magnesium and no added salts. I also take a couple of other supplements like B12.

I do take 2 Propranolol for anxiety prior to two of my hospital visits every 3 weeks. I went through tubs of Inositol powder about 8 years ago but it didn't help at all.

I go to hospital on 3 separate days.1st for blood tests.2nd visit is with Oncologist.3rd day is for Infusion.

I have a terrible fear of hospitals and doctors but there are reasons for that and I'm not a people person.

Everything is cancelled for me at the moment because of a surge/peak of covid in my town (they opened the State border a week before Christmas and let all the infected people in so everyone then decided to party on as if there was no pandemic) and so all the sociable people like the nurses are sick so it's not safe for me to leave home and go to the hospital. Pathologies, Medical Imaging, Pharmacies, Doctor's offices, shops.. all contaminated with sick people running around positive and not knowing it because they're looking for Rapid Antigen Tests and there are none. Sheesh, you'd think they'd stay home if they thought they were positive. Rant over.

I don't drink alcohol or smoke pot but have no problem with other people doing that if they wish. lol
I don't eat meat products but if other people want to then that's their business, not mine.

We just talked about getting another kitten or cat rescue the other day. It's hard though because it's a huge commitment again. Our cats lived such long lives. I'd love to get more hens again though but it won't be while we're living here.

I do love reading. I used to have a huge library of books but over the years I've sold or given a lot of them away. I have some difficulty reading books a bit these days. My vision isn't what it used to be and I get a lot of headaches too. I do read a lot of medical literature/research. I enjoy music. Don't watch TV at all. I like foreign language movies, mostly Nordic/Scandi.

Thank you for sharing so much of your life.
I am humbled by your perseverance.
bizi
(((((HUGS))))

you are so incredibly brave and strong. The lawn mover really sounds like fun.
Can you get a kindle? i need cataract surgery so you can make the font on the Kindle large. It has a lot of free classics.
I hope the treatments aren't painful and the doctors and nurses are gentle and compassionate. Twenty years is a very long life for a kitty to live. I wonder if you fed them people food. I think rescuing or buying a kitty or two would really add joy to your life. I am so sure one of my kitties will outlive me but I just feel that Aby will have a great home.
I forgot people are such selfish and stupid jerks. I can't find sympathy if they catch the virus. dumb dumb dumb.
Fondly,
bobby

I have a male friend who was super super careful

isolated for a couple of years had food delivered

wore masks faithfully fully vaccinated.
He has covid now.
feel so sad for him. his wife lives 2 1/2 hours away

in new orleans she has a house there and he has a
house here in lafayette.they commute and stayed
together she worked on line. They isolated together
most of the last 2 years at his house.
It is fair to say that she will stay in NOLA until he is

free and gets a negative test.
bizi

Just letting you all know that I'm resuming all my appointments and treatments as from next week. They've put in some heavy weight precautions in the day unit and my doctors are all using phone/telehealth appointments, so crossing fingers all will go well. Hopefully pathology is safe. Very anxious but also sort of relieved.