i had really made a frightening mistake and worried afterwards if i was beginning dementia, My friend JOYCE said i could stull tie shoe laces so no to worry lol . had gotten confused and the trades i had made in 2020 were not made in 2022. in 2020 the situation was very different and i wound up not having to pay any taxes. I am still scared that I had made that mistake and showed confusion.
I did promise myself that I now am through stock trading for the rest of life i have left. thus no worry about taxes etc,
thank God I am finally able to read again, my passion. the side effects of a medication finally have warn off. was just reading some tolstoy whom i adore and finished a book by seneca.
i think i doomed with my trouble sleeping-rats.
i will have to wait until I am totally exhausted sob sob. nothing works. At least now was able to curb by desire for coffee lol.
it is really hard to be bipolar 2. There are perks. I am so glad i don't sleep the rest of my away. lol
I might as well get dressed now.

two of my stocks doing much better. i will keep my promise to myself. no more trading for rest of my life. too dangerous ,especially when bipolar.

very very dizzy and afraid of another stroke but if Gods wants me I am his. refuse to call doctor.

so terrified. haven't seen pudge all day. so scared she is dead. robert's coming over after 5:30. so an incredible and such an incredible kitty cat. she always runs to food but not this time.

i blew it again. my great niece messaged me a happy passover. i replied the same.
i said this has been a very rough day for me because i couldn't pudge until very late and i always think the worse because of the family i grew up in
that is also her family-i didn't delete it.
i don't think i will hear from her again.
I do now just a few very precious friends who are so very special. i am blessed.

Bobby

Make sure when you get dizzy you have eaten. And then just relax for
a while and try standing late.r

Donna

i don't feel like eating tonight. i did have lunch. i called downstairs for somebody to come and mail a signature to my accountant and payment. nobody came up.
i was dizzy still with stomach and afraid i was going to have another stroke but i tried to be very careful without shoes and went downstairs. I didn't fall.
Finally found Pudge hiding in the closet. hasn't taken any water all day and evening and no food. when i found her put water right next to her. the vet said very healthy for a 16 year old kitty.
joyce said don't worry because cats are weird and she was breathing.
can't help it but my heart is once again breaking. not eating or drinking and hidings are signs of approaching death. i can't stand the pain and right now so wish i died in my sleep tonite.
i have had too much pain in my life.

back in control of myself. my faith weirdly has gotten stronger. left a message with the vet for emergency appt for her. she still shows energy. this morning i found her on the computer chair. she jumped down and did jump up again. she wants no part of me. i am leaving her alone.

wow-stella said she would take to the vet tomorrow .my appt is at 11:30.she can't stay but i am sure somebody will help me get into a cab. i even called down to the doorman to see if he knew anybody. kathy has a bad cold. wrote zeynep but haven't heard but doubted she would help. robert didn't volunteer assume he would busy. caseworker couldn't help. called dorot and left message but so far no call back.
stomach hurts so much. pudge looks comfortable on the chair. still no eating or drinking or using litter box. it would so incredible if as joyce suggested it was a bladder infection.

robert is taking us-always my hero